Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.01 Hercule Poirot’s Christmas (1994, TV) – 5/10 review

David Suchet: Hercule Poirot Philip Jackson: Chief Inspector Japp Writer (Original Novel): Agatha Christie Writer (Dramatization): Clive Exton Vernon Dobtcheff: Simeon Lee

Poirot, Agatha Christie’s 6.01 Hercule Poirot’s Christmas (1994) "For Poirot it will be a quiet Christmas." Poirot’s powers of prophecy are not as finely tuned as his powers of deduction as he finds himself – thanks to a heating malfunction in his own apartment – staying at the home of the odious Simeon Lee who believes that his life is in danger. Sure enough, Lee is brutally murdered soon thereafter. 5/10 While the mechanics of the locked-room murder are agreeably ingenious, Clive Exton fails to bring much of his usual humour and humanity to the script and doesn’t disguise the fact that Poirot couldn’t possibly know what he knows at the end (he could know the murderer, the method and, possibly, the motive but not the murderer’s mother or where she was staying). Exton also fails to successfully present any of the suspects as genuinely having the means, motive and opportunity to commit the crime. A bit weak, then, but still watchable thanks to David Suchet’s Poirot and Philip Jackson’s Japp who hadn’t yet lost their humanity and friendship in their performances. This Poirot, Agatha Christie’s episode contains bad language and blade violence, inferred strong violence, unpleasant scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

House M.D. 5.15 Unfaithful (2009, TV) – 7/10 review

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House Lisa Edelstein: Dr. Lisa Cuddy Omar Epps: Dr. Eric Foreman Robert Sean Leonard: Dr. James Wilson Jennifer Morrison: Dr. Allison Cameron Jesse Spencer: Dr. Robert Chase Writer (Series’ Creator): David Shore Peter Jacobson: Dr. Chris Taub Kal Penn: Dr. Lawrence Kutner Olivia Wilde: Thirteen Jimmi Simpson: Daniel Bresson Jake Thomas: Ryan Producer: David Hoselton Executive Producer: David Shore Writer: David Hoselton Director: Greg Yaitanes

House M.D. 5.15 Unfaithful (2009) House rummages through the Emergency Room admittances to pull out a non-sick person as a fake case for reasons too complex to enunicate here. He chooses a priest who hallucinated a levitating, fully-stigmata’d Christ and is surprised as anyone when he develops another rather more serious and rather more provable symptom: the priest’s toe falls off. Now I’m not a doctor, but I’d say that’s not good. 7/10 Two good episodes in a row and, while the medical symptoms come thicker and faster than is convincing, the existentalist ponderings and emotional resonances work well. House’s games with Cuddy and Fourteen (Foreman and Thirteen) are terrific fun and you really, really want to believe that he does have best interests and right motivations at heart despite or because of what we’ve seen over these five seasons. Hugh Laurie really does add that magic quality to the words and actions that, wonderfully, make you wonder ‘what is he really thinking?’ A great thought-provoking quote from Albert Einstein ("Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous", why can’t I think of cool, meaningful stuff to say?) was a great way of summing up the episode and giving both atheist and theist something to think about. This House M.D. episode contains adult dialogue and unpleasant scenes and sensuality. Links Previous episode: The Greater Good Next episode: The Softer Side

24 7.09 Day 7: 4:00 PM – 5:00 PM (2009, TV) – 8/10 review

Kiefer Sutherland: Jack Bauer Mary Lynn Rajskub: Chloe O’Brian Cherry Jones: President Allison Taylor James Morrison: Bill Buchanan Annie Wersching: FBI Agent Renee Walker Colm Feore: Henry Taylor Bob Gunton: Ethan Kanin Jeffrey Nordling: FBI Special Agent in Charge Larry Moss Rhys Coiro: Sean Hillinger Janeane Garofalo: Janis Gold Glenn Morshower: Agent Aaron Pierce Carlo Rota: Morris O’Brian Executive Producer: David Fury Executive Producer: Robert Cochran Writer (Series’ Creator): Joel Surnow Writer (Series’ Creator): Robert Cochran Writer: David Fury Director: Milan Cheylov

24 7.09 Day 7: 4:00 PM – 5:00 PM (2009) First Chap Henry Taylor has been shot in the chest, is bleeding badly and the prognosis is dire. Dubaku finalises his plans to leave the country taking girlfriend Marika with him but is all too aware that his life is now in danger. He exerts pressure to ensure that he will escape safe and that will make Jack and Renee’s pursuit harder and riskier than they can imagine. 8/10 Another excellent episode with the focus more on personal impact for Agent Renee Walker, President Allison Taylor and unknowing Dubaku girlfriend Marika Donoso. We also get the reveal of a Dubaku conspirator inside Moss’s office SPOILER which is nicely misdirected. END SPOILER Again the change of pace works wonders for the show and means that the bits that are supposed to be tense such as the last minute or two are genuinely so and not lost amid a sea of would-be tension. Nice to welcome back Glenn Morshower as Agent Aaron Pierce (making him the only cast member other than Kiefer Sutherland to appear in every day) but it would have been an even nicer surprise if his name hadn’t been on the opening credits. This 24 episode contains bad language and a gory scene. Links Previous episode Next episode

Mirror’s Edge (2008, Game, PS3) – 7/10 review

Senior Producer: Owen O’Brien Senior Development Director: Senta Jakobsen Producer: Tom Farrer Lead Designer: Thomas Andersson Art Director: Johannes Söderqvist Technical Director: Per-Olof Romell Technical Director Art: Torbjörn Malmer Sound Director: Magnus Walterstad

Mirror’s Edge (2008) Faith is a runner – a pedestrian courier that surreptitiously uses the rooftops as her pathways – but, given that her packages will almost be illegal, the authorities are trying to fulfil their clichés. So Faith, blah, blah, freedom, blah. 7/10 This is a game that treats the players’ input with disdain and where your on-screen avatar (Faith) simply refuses to put the effort in. She won’t help herself, she won’t try and grab for a ledge you’ve missed (by a femtometre) or go through a door or walk down a street unless you’ve meticulously avoided catching your invisible aura on door frames and the like. There’s no strain in her on-screen hands and arms and little sense that what you are doing is physically strenuous or miraculous. You frequently can’t look around using the right stick, the button that tells you where to go frequently doesn’t, the button to drop your gun sometimes won’t, the button to jump tends to be more of a suggestion and the button to make a hard landing soft is reinterpreted as ‘fall to your death’ if you don’t quite clear the gap or land on a vertical pipe. The inability to redefine keys is almost criminal as the control scheme is alien to learn and it’s advantage over the more traditional buttons used for jump, crouch and attack is never apparent. Even with all that, Mirror’s Edge is an unmissable game for striking art direction and proving platforming in first-person is possible and the game can be visceral, thrilling and rewarding and the ending is good. It’s a nearly game and, for such a bold and unusual attempt, that’ll do for now. This game contains mild swear words and offensive gestures and melee violence, gun violence, unpleasant scenes. Classified 16+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 16 or over.. Classified Violence by PEGI. Game contains depictions of violence.

Kung Fu Panda (2008, Game, 360) – 7/10 review

Creative Director: Joby Otero

Kung Fu Panda (2008) 7/10 Genuinely good fun movie game which successfully generates the atmosphere and reproduces the look of the better-than-expected movie. Jack Black’s voice work is critical (I actually laughed during the game, most unusual) but the gameplay is strong enough and keeps irritation and repetition to a minimum. As a bonus it looks nice and is animated with real character and lightness of touch. The Donkey Kong tribute works well and the game as a whole is consistently fun. Xbox 360 Achievements are slanted toward hardcore gamers so they have something to play for as well. This Kung Fu Panda game contains very mild bad language and extreme, though largely comic and without lasting consequence, fantasy martial arts violence. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008, Movie) – 5/10 review

Director: Guillermo Del Toro Writer (Screenplay): Guillermo Del Toro Writer (Story): Guillermo Del Toro Writer (Story): Mike Mignola Writer (Characters’ Creator) from the Dark Horse comic book: Mike Mignola Producer: Lawrence Gordon Producer: Mike Richardson Producer: Lloyd Levin Ron Perlman: Hellboy Selma Blair: Liz Doug Jones: Abe Sapien, Chamberlain, Angel of Death Jeffrey Tambor: Tom Manning Luke Goss: Prince Nuada Anna Walton: Princess Nuala Seth MacFarlane: Voice of Johann John Hurt: Professor Broom Co-Executive Producer: Mike Mignola

Hellboy II: Golden Army, The (2008) Prince Nuada decides that man’s abuse of the planet should end at his hands or, more specifically, at the hands of an indestructible Golden Army. All he needs is to gather the three pieces of the controlling crown and, er, find the Golden Army. 5/10 Disappointingly incoherent monster mash whose impactless story isn’t helped by interminable and unimaginative, but extremely violent, action scenes which simply involve things hitting each other until they stop hitting each other. While director Guillermo Del Toro once more brings impressive creature designs to the table, and the pre-title sequence is really cool (and includes John Hurt), he also brings his traditional problem of pacing that makes his films seem longer than they are. This isn’t a particularly long film (107 minutes to the beginning of the end credits) but it feels it, especially when things start hitting each other. This movie contains mild swear words and extreme fantasy violence, extremely unpleasant scenes. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult. Links Hellboy

Hellboy (2004, Movie) – 6/10 review

Director: Guillermo Del Toro Writer (Screenplay): Guillermo Del Toro Writer (Screen Story): Guillermo Del Toro Writer (Screen Story): Peter Briggs Writer (Original Comic Book) The Dark Horse Comic: Mike Mignola Producer: Lawrence Gordon Producer: Mike Richardson Producer: Lloyd Levin Co-Executive Producer: Mike Mignola Ron Perlman: Hellboy Selma Blair: Liz Sherman Jeffrey Tambor: Tom Manning Karel Roden: Grigori Rupert Evans: John Myers John Hurt: Trevor "Broom" Bruttenholm Fight Choreographer: Guillermo Del Toro

Hellboy (2004) After interrupting a Nazi attempt to bring some sort of mystical creatures to Earth in 1944, Professor "Broom" finds himself the adoptive father of a red and horned young boy from the other side. The boy is called Hellboy and is the main weapon in the USA’s fight against the supernatural. 6/10 There’s lot to like here, principally Ron Perlman’s jovial horned hero, but a lack of menace (note, this is not caused by the PG-13 certificate) coupled to a complete absence of plot momentum (why exactly does whoever the bad guy is want to destroy the world?) and the feeling that there’s a couple of important sub-plots left out (though the film still runs to two hours) means that this entertaining monster mash is never truly satisfying. The Director’s Cut fixes nothing. This movie contains mild swear words and extreme fantasy violence, extremely unpleasant scenes. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult. Links Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Xbox 360 vs PS3 Head-to-Head Face Off Street Fighter IV update

Every so often, Eurogamer run a series of technical comparison reviews for games released on both Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. This is the latest update while the full list is here.

•   Street Fighter IV

The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008, Game, 360) – 6/10 review

Spiderwick Chronicles, The Spiderwick Chronicles, The (2008) Three children unexpectedly find themselves locked in a battle for survival over the fate of a book written by their grandfather. Making things rather more challenging, the battle is against creatures that no-one thought existed and no-one can see unless they are looking through a small magic stone ring. 6/10 Movie game which works well as an advertisement and well enough as a game. It’s principle problem is that a child couldn’t complete it (the collection quests include one or two which you just won’t find without a walkthrough) and it sometimes feels a little over-complicated but it generates a good sense of the movie and there are some nice touches. For instance, the animation of the Stray Sods who guard their patches diligently and watch you like a hawk when you wander by, goblins whose saucepan helmets can be knocked off, the playable characters looking at items of interest as you run by and tinkly harp sound effects for Thimbletack going up and down wires. This Spiderwick Chronicles, The game contains fantasy violence. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen aka LXG (2003, Movie) – 5/10 review

Producer: Don Murphy Sean Connery: Allan Quartermain Shane West: Tom Sawyer Stuart Townsend: Dorian Gray Richard Roxburgh: Moriarty (Fantom) Peta Wilson: Mina Harker Tony Curran: Rodney Skinner Jason Flemyng: Dr. Henry Jekyll / Edward Hyde Naseeruddin Shah: Captain Nemo David Hemmings: Nigel Max Ryan: Dante Writer (Original Graphic Novel): Alan Moore Writer (Original Graphic Novel): Kevin O’Neill, W Writer (Screenplay): James Dale Robinson Director: Stephen Norrington

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) London’s M brings together a League of Extraordinary People to fight the evil known as the Fantom who is about to topple the world into war. He recruits legendary hunter Allan Quartermain, legendary pirate Nemo, legendarily invisible Rodney Skinner, legendarily bloodthirsty Mina Harker, legendarily long-lived Dorian Gray, legendary monster Mr. Hyde and the not-legendary at all token American Tom Sawyer (he’s a detective, wow). 5/10 Clunky superhero would-be epic that offers a lot of good concepts but, while useless music, a silly Venice collapsing sequence (the precise moment the movie falls apart) and the presence of the completely unextraordinary character Tom Sawyer are the most obvious failures, it’s principle failing is the lack of the X factor. There is no magic, no extraordinariness. While it is surprisingly appropriate that Connery’s on-screen career would end with this, it’s a shame it was in such a misfire. Such was his experience, director Steven Norrington also imposed the end of his directorial career upon himself. This movie contains mild swear words and extreme violence, extreme fantasy violence, unpleasant and gory scenes. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Crash Time aka Alarm for Cobra 11 (2007, 360) – 6/10 review

Crash Time aka Alarm for Cobra 11 (2007) German detective team Cobra 11 – Chris and Semir – crack cases and race races around two expansive areas utilising any vehicle at their disposal. 6/10 One of the main treats of Synetic games is seeing how magnificently obtuse their user interface is and Crash Time doesn’t disappoint. The menus have active items highlighted in white and inactive items highlighted in – wait for it – white. Brilliant. In-game, some of the missions become unnecessary repeat-a-thons due to the lack of an in-game map though I suppose there is a certain old-school satisfaction to trying something over and over until you get it right. This is a game where one of the in-game tips starts "Yes, that’s not fair" and, on hard, it can be maddening like few other games. However, it runs and plays smoothly and the driving model (despite diminished gravity) is fun and much better than usual for a budget game (specifically, the steering is beautifully weighted). It, unusually, has articulated vehicles and is probably the only game to feature cars towing caravans. That’s a plus point, by the way. This game contains mild swear words.

Xbox 360 vs PS3 Head-to-Head Face Off F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin update

Every so often, Eurogamer run a series of technical comparison reviews for games released on both Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. This is the latest update while the full list is here.

•   F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin

24 7.08 Day 7: 3:00 PM – 4:00 PM (2009, TV) – 8/10 review

Kiefer Sutherland: Jack Bauer Cherry Jones: President Allison Taylor James Morrison: Bill Buchanan Annie Wersching: FBI Agent Renee Walker Colm Feore: Henry Taylor Bob Gunton: Ethan Kanin Jeffrey Nordling: FBI Special Agent in Charge Larry Moss Rhys Coiro: Sean Hillinger Janeane Garofalo: Janis Gold Executive Producer: David Fury Executive Producer: Kiefer Sutherland Executive Producer: Evan Katz Executive Producer: Robert Cochran Executive Producer: Joel Surnow Writer (Series’ Creator): Joel Surnow Writer (Series’ Creator): Robert Cochran Writer (Screenplay): Robert Cochran Writer (Screenplay): Evan Katz Writer (Story): David Fury Director: Milan Cheylov

24 7.08 Day 7: 3:00 PM – 4:00 PM (2009) With his infrastructure attack capability well and truly stuffed by Bauer, Dubaku retreats and consoles himself with the one chip he has left: First Dude Henry Taylor. Jack and Matobo go to the White House to see President Taylor face-to-face. 8/10 "The rules are what make us better." "Not today." Is it acceptable to discard etiquette for what you perceive to be the greater good? 24 is asking this question more successfully than ever. Jack has long since ceased pretending to use anyone else’s moral compass and doesn’t even think twice about doing what he considers needs to be done. Renee Walker (Annie Wersching) is the audience surrogate here and is proving a highly effective device to generate an unusual level of empathy with the situation for us. What would we do? Cherry Jones as President Allison Taylor gets easily her best scene of the series so far when reacting to Dubaku’s demands. This 24 episode contains bad language and a brief extremely unpleasant scene. Links Previous episode Next episode

24 7.07 Day 7: 2:00 PM – 3:00 PM (2009, TV) – 7/10 review

Kiefer Sutherland: Jack Bauer Mary Lynn Rajskub: Chloe O’Brian Cherry Jones: President Allison Taylor James Morrison: Bill Buchanan Annie Wersching: FBI Agent Renee Walker Colm Feore: Henry Taylor Bob Gunton: Ethan Kanin Jeffrey Nordling: FBI Special Agent in Charge Larry Moss Rhys Coiro: Sean Hillinger Janeane Garofalo: Janis Gold Carlos Bernard: Tony Almeida Co-Executive Producer: Brannon Braga Co-Executive Producer: Michael Loceff Executive Producer: Manny Coto Executive Producer: Kiefer Sutherland Executive Producer: Robert Cochran Executive Producer: Joel Surnow Writer (Series’ Creator): Joel Surnow Writer (Series’ Creator): Robert Cochran Writer (Screenplay): Manny Coto Writer (Screenplay): Brannon Braga Writer (Story): Michael Loceff Director: Milan Cheylov

24 7.07 Day 7: 2:00 PM – 3:00 PM (2009) First Chap Henry Taylor is still stuck on the floor of Samantha Roth’s apartment while treacherous Secret Service Agent Vossler patiently waits outside for yet another hour. Dubaku targets a chemical planet with thousands of fatalities imminent as Jack, Tony and Bill prepare to use the Matobo’s as bait to discover Dubaku’s base of operations. 7/10 A thrilling first half (I munched through almost an entire packet of liquorice allsorts; something I rarely do) gives way to a measured second half and it is this well-judged variety of pace that is proving one of Day 7′s welcome improvements over Day 6. Another is the much more restrained 24 violence which, so far, has been generally of the bang-bang-you’re-dead variety. Audience’s quickly get the point of violence, we don’t need to be beaten over the head with it and so far, 24 hasn’t been doing that. Long may it continue being powerful, thrilling, interesting and thought-provoking. This 24 episode contains bad language and violence. Links Previous episode Next episode

The Covenant (2006, Movie) – 2/10 review

Director: Renny Harlin Steven Strait: Caleb Danvers Sebastian Stan: Chase Collins Laura Ramsey: Sarah Wenham Taylor Kitsch: Pogue Parry Toby Hemingway: Reid Garwin Jessica Lucas: Kate Tunney Chace Crawford: Tyler Simms Wendy Crewson: Evelyn Danvers Executive Producer: J.S. Cardone Writer: J.S. Cardone

Covenant, The (2006) The Sons of Ipswitch are four boys with supernatural powers. One of them is about to gain extra powers that comes with his eighteenth birthday in an event known as his Ascension. However, one of them appears to be addicted to using his powers and, in so doing, risks exposing them all and their lives. 2/10 I never understand the fascination of contemporary Hollywood filmmakers with making their leads charmless, bland and / or purposefully difficult to like. Or, to put it another, probably more executive-thinking way, they believe that sticking good-looking people on screen is enough and that it doesn’t matter what they do. They’re wrong. It does. Despite the audience alienating opening, The Covenant turns out to be, surprisingly, about something (it appropriately parallels power with addictive narcotics). This is the, sadly, only positive aspect of the production. Otherwise, it is oddly incompetent from a production, dialogue and acting standpoint with Wendy Crewson, in particular, embarrassing herself. This movie contains bad language, mild swear words and extremely unpleasant scenes, extreme fantasy violence and non-sexual male and female nudity, sensuality. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Explosion HD widescreen wallpapers

Some HD widescreen wallpapers showcasing some spectacular ‘splodinessness.

1920×1080	1920×1200

Original Photographs

I do not know the original credit for these photographs.

Ferrari Challenge Trofeo Pirelli (2008, Game, PS3) – 8/10 review

President System 3 Software: Mark Cale Executive Producer: Mark Cale Technical Consultant Car Handling and Race Consultation: Bruno Senna Instructor Race: Tiff Needell Game Designer: Mark Cale Game Designer: Dave Thompson Game Designer: Gareth Wright Lead Programmer: Craig McHugh Manager Programming: Andrew Perella Manager Technology: Mark McClumpha Manager Creative: Mark Barton Designer: Gareth Wright Designer: Kev Shaw

Ferrari Challenge Trofeo Pirelli (2008) Partake in the international Ferrari 430 Challenge series across fifteen tracks then take over twenty models from Ferrari history for a spin in one-make Trophy championships. Additionally, you can be tutored around Ferrari’s Fiorano test circuit and take the challenge online. 8/10 One-make racing game which boasts rewarding and convincing driving and racing, outstanding rain effects (unlike a lot of games, they remembered the wiper animations), a good livery editor and some terrific tracks that we haven’t seen before in a game (Circuit Mont-Tremblant, Virginia International Raceway and the Auto Club Speedway of Southern California and, for the first time in a long time for cars, Circuit Paul Ricard). There are some nice touches such as wildlife, leaves and men with flags (yay!) at circuits and a personal favourite music track over the main menu (Ebla by E.S. Posthumus). For me, the single marque is no limitation at all (indeed, I love single marque games) and the cars exhibit a wide variety of handling; some of them are an absolute joy to drive including the F512 S, F355 GTB, and the F40. Classified 3+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 3 or over. Links Ferrari F430 Challenge UK Police custom livery Ferrari F430 Challenge US Police custom livery Ferrari F430 Challenge Starsky and Hutch custom livery Ferrari F430 Challenge European Union custom livery Ferrari F430 Challenge Taxi custom livery Ferrari 550 Maranello Maranello Village custom livery Ferrari F333 SP Gulf custom livery Ferrari 575 GTC Jota Sport custom livery Ferrari F40 Eighties Senna Marlboro custom livery Ferrari 250 GTO Dragon custom livery Ferrari FXX Rainbow custom livery Ferrari F50 Stave custom livery Ferrari 348 Challenge Splat custom livery Ferrari 348 TB F1 (silhouette) custom livery Ferrari 512 S and 512 M Saturn custom livery Ferrari F355 Berlinetta Thorny custom livery Ferrari 360 Modena Ying Yang custom livery Ferrari 365 GTB/4 Competition custom livery Ferrari 575M Maranello Italia and Not Italia custom livery

Ferrari Challenge Trofeo Pirelli: Ferrari 575M Maranello Italia and Not Italia custom livery

Italia

Not Italia

Another competition entry for FCTP and, as you can see, the original design was based on the Italian flag. The competition didn’t allow you to use flags so I altered the colours and submitted that as NotItalia.

Midnight Club: Los Angeles (2008, Game, 360) – 7/10 review

Midnight Club: Los Angeles (2008) 7/10 Good-natured open-world arcade racing game with almost no swearing (you wonder if Rockstar are proud of themselves for sneaking an F-word into an all ages games), no violence and only fun trash-talking. Handling initially feels excellent but is revealed to be a bit of a façade and, sadly, makes the driving less fun the faster the vehicle you are using. The insistence on making you map-read while you travel through the city at 200mph also repeatedly sucks the fun out of the experience and the tracks are difficult to learn (typical of open world games) but these elements are not the ones you want to take away from the game. The presentation is superb with the best night-time graphics to date. The cockpit view is usable, involving and fun; your biker’s jacket flaps in the wind (highly cool); passersby will say "Dude, checkout that car" or "Oh my God, that’s my dream car" when you’re in a nice motor; and the AI doesn’t particularly cheat. Importantly, races are always thrilling and that is the feeling you want to be left with after playing the game. Links Mercedes Benz S600 "DUB" Saturn custom livery

Ordinal Suffixes for all dates and numbers; Show 3rd instead of 3

A surprising omission from the extensive number formatting goodies in Visual Basic (VB) is the ability to append the appropriate ordinal suffix to a number. This is most often used when writing dates in prose. For example, you would write 3rd February 2009, not 3 February 2009. This VB / VBA function returns your number with the appropriate suffix attached.

A number that ends in a 1 uses the suffix “st”, a 2 “nd”, a 3 “rd” and everything else “th”. Naturally, this being English, there are one or four exceptions that break the grammatical rule. Numbers ending in 11, 12 and 13 all have the suffix “th” and 0 has no suffix. The function below works correctly for any number I threw at it and you can also supply a string containing a number. This is useful for rendering dates which you could convert to a string using Format$ and then send to this function.

Examples

• FormatOrdinal(1) produces “1st”
• FormatOrdinal(2) produces “2nd”
• FormatOrdinal(3) produces “3rd”
• FormatOrdinal(4) produces “4th”
• FormatOrdinal(11) produces “11th”
• FormatOrdinal(111) produces “111th”
• FormatOrdinal("1111") produces “1111th”
• FormatOrdinal(1111.87) produces “1111.87″
• FormatOrdinal("garbage") produces “garbage”
• FormatOrdinal(Format$(#13 Feb 2009#, "d")) produces “13th”
• FormatOrdinal(324989234842) produces “324989234842nd”

Code

''' <summary>
''' Adds the ability to include the ordinal suffix for numbers, ie.,st, nd, rd, th
''' <summary>
Public Function FormatOrdinal( _
                Number) _
                As String
                
  ' Set a default return value
  FormatOrdinal = (Number)
  
  ' Only add suffix if a whole numeric value was supplied
  If IsNumeric(Number) Then
  
    ' Make sure the variant Number is now of a numeric data-type so we can perform
    ' numerical comparisons
    Number = Val(Number)
    
    If (Number = Int(Number)) And (Number <> 0) Then
      ' Use the last two digits of the number (between 0 and 99) for determining
      ' the suffix. We only use the whole part of the number (Int) and we we use
      ' the Abs function to make sure it is in the range 0 to 99. It is converted
      ' to a string (Format), the right two characters pulled off (Right$) and
      ' converted back to a number (Val).
      Dim Remainder As Long
      Remainder = Val(Right$(Format$(Int(Abs(Number))), 2))
       
      ' 2 character suffixes for numbers ending in 1 to 9 respectively
      Const Suffixes = "st" & _
                       "nd" & _
                       "rd" & _
                       "th" & _
                       "th" & _
                       "th" & _
                       "th" & _
                       "th" & _
                       "th"
      
      ' Suffix is "th" if remainder is between 10 and 19 or if it is exactly
      ' divisible by 10
      If ((Remainder >= 10) And (Remainder <= 19)) _
      Or ((Remainder Mod 10) = 0) Then
        FormatOrdinal = Format$(Number) & "th"
      Else
        ' Pull suffix from constant Suffixes using the last digit doubled ((Remainder Mod 10) * 2)
        ' as a starting point
        FormatOrdinal = Format$(Number) & Mid$(Suffixes, ((Remainder Mod 10) * 2) - 1, 2)
      End If
    End If ' Number = Int(Number)
  End If ' IsNumeric(Number)
  
  End Function

This code was written in Visual Basic for Applications (VB, VBA) for Microsoft Access 2002 (XP) on Windows Vista. It is based on code originally published by Chip Pearson and found via Google and experts-exchange.com. However, this code works for all numbers (not just dates, ie., 1-31) and is much more robust.

Hustle 5.06 (2009, TV) – 7/10 review

Cast / crew Adrian Lester: Mickey Stone Robert Glenister: Ash Morgan Matt Di Angelo: Sean Kennedy Kelly Adams: Emma Kennedy Robert Vaughn: Albert Stroller Writer: Tony Jordan Writer (Series’ Creator): Tony Jordan Producer: Kerry Appleyard Director: Martin Hutchings Adam James: Carlton Wood Tom Goodman-Hill: Alfie Baron Writer (Original Idea): Bharat Nalluri

Hustle 5.06 Series 5 Episode 6 of 6 (2009) After being taken for £500,000 (in episode 5.02) Carlton Wood targets his intellect, and ego, on getting revenge on Mickey Stone and his team of grifters by conning them out of £1,000,000. 7/10 This is a fun crime caper where the audience is sure Mickey Stone is one step ahead, surely, but are never quite sure. Adam James fun ogre from episode two is welcomed back to try and extract a little vengeance and a million pounds from the hustlers. Tom Goodman Hill supplies an entertaining dim toff while Adrian Lester and Robert Vaughn dispense philosophy justifying their profession with, respectively, “It’s never about the money. It’s about the game,” and “Hustling is the aristocracy of crime.” Morally dubious, unquestionably, but it’s episodes like this that keep the audience firmly on the side of our anti-heroes and this has, overall, been a good season for the slick grifters. This Hustle episode contains mild swear words, bad language. Links Previous episode

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007, Movie) – 6/10 review

Producer: Bernd Eichinger Ioan Gruffudd: Reed Richards Jessica Alba: Sue Storm Chris Evans: Johnny Storm Michael Chiklis: Ben Grimm Julian McMahon: Victor Von Doom Kerry Washington: Alicia Masters Andre Braugher: General Hager Laurence Fishburne: The Voice of the Silver Surfer Executive Producer: Stan Lee Writer (Original Comic Book) Marvel: Stan Lee Writer (Original Comic Book) Marvel: Jack Kirby Writer (Story): John Turman Writer (Story): Mark Frost Writer (Screenplay): Don Payne Writer (Screenplay): Mark Frost Director: Tim Story Stan Lee: Rejected Wedding Guest

4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) Reed Richards and Sue Storm’s celebrity wedding OF THE CENTURY is rudely interrupted by a cosmic traveler who is a harbinger of the end of the world. Rather inconvenient, it has to be said. 6/10 Remarkably, this would turn out to be the first blockbuster of the 2007 season to not be significantly disappointing. This is not because this is a great film. This is a solid, entertaining and not ridiculously violent superhero movie. Thanks to the return of the director, cast and tone of the first movie, expectations were low. With this turning out to be not bad in any way, there was no sense of disappointment. This movie contains adult dialogue and innuendo, single mild swear word from nowhere and extreme fantasy violence, unpleasant scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links 1920×1080 HD widescreen wallpaper Previous: Fantastic Four

Fantastic Four (2005, Movie) – 6/10 review

Director: Tim Story Writer: Mark Frost Writer: Michael France Writer (Original Comic Book): Stan Lee Writer (Original Comic Book): Jack Kirby Executive Producer: Stan Lee Ioan Gruffudd: Reed Richards Jessica Alba: Sue Storm Chris Evans: Johnny Storm Michael Chiklis: Ben Grimm Julian McMahon: Victor Von Doom Kerry Washington: Alicia Masters Stan Lee: Willie Lumpkin

Fantastic Four (2005) After an experiment in space goes badly pear-shaped, brainbox Doctor Reed Richards, his bankroller Victor Von Doom and Sue Storm, Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm are relieved to find themselves on Earth apparently no worse for their ordeal. Shortly, four of them start exhibiting fantastic abilities… 6/10 Feeling like a first-draft screenplay with bits cut out of it this illogical superhero story surprisingly has some fun moments and some reasonably strong scenes but director Tim Story handles everything with a rock-like hand and the enterprise is too flat too often. The idea that one of our super-heroes would relish the opportunity is commendably unusual (it may be unique) and proves the best idea in an otherwise imagination-free movie. For boys, Jessica Alba is unbelievably gorgeous even with distracting blond hair (no freaky contacts this time) while Chris Evans scores as The Human Torch. This movie contains mild swear words and extreme fantasy violence, unpleasant fantasy scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Next: 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer

House M.D. 5.14 The Greater Good (2009, TV) – 7/10 review

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House Lisa Edelstein: Dr. Lisa Cuddy Omar Epps: Dr. Eric Foreman Robert Sean Leonard: Dr. James Wilson Writer (Series’ Creator): David Shore Peter Jacobson: Dr. Chris Taub Kal Penn: Dr. Lawrence Kutner Olivia Wilde: Thirteen Judith Scott: Dana Miller Jennifer Crystal Foley: Rachel Taub David Purdham: Chef Anthony Co-Producer: Sara Hess Executive Producer: David Shore Writer: Sara Hess Director: Lesli Linka Glatter

House M.D. 5.14 Greater Good, The (2009) A prominent cancer researcher is admitted but the team are shocked when they realise that she quit her highly promising research five years ago to pursue personal happiness. Foreman has switched Thirteen onto the real drug and the hospital elevators appear to be working for everyone except House. 7/10 Restoring faith, if only for a single episode, this is good stuff with two miracle cures (a menstrual bleed from everywhere and blindness-by-brain-tumor reversed in an afternoon) and a fun Cuddy-House side-plot. Critically, the medical explanation of the case-of-the-week at the end is easily followable by viewers and provides a satisfying pay-off. The case-of-the-week character provides some interesting scenes regarding personal happiness versus the greater good and the Foreman-Thirteen romance delivers a strong, if rushed, storyline. On top of that, House is generally being awesome on every level this week, not just being an intolerable ego but channeling his intellect into pithy brilliance-ness. It’s a word if you can say it. This House M.D. episode contains adult dialogue and gory scene. Links Previous episode: Big Baby

Smallville 8.14 Requiem (2009, TV) – 3/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster Developer for Television: Alfred Gough Developer for Television: Miles Millar Kristin Kreuk: Lana Chris Gauthier: Winslow Scott Writer: Holly Henderson Writer: Don Whitehead Director: Michael Rohl

Smallville 8.14 Requiem (2009) Oliver Queen reveals a previously unsuspected bomb-proof-ness when he is the only survivor of a blast at a LuthorCorp board meeting where he was announcing his hostile takeover. He knows who the bomber probably is but strongly suspects that Lex is behind the attack and uses the bomber to lead him to Lex so that he can kill him. Meanwhile, Clark and Lana enjoy some super-sex (dang, another bed broken) but Lex has plans for them also. 3/10 Chloe shocks us to our very core by knocking on Clark’s door before walking in immediately anyway. It’s not like Clark and Lana were in the middle of super-sex. Oh. Anyway, the reason for last week’s eye-bulging Super Lana storyline is partially justified this week with a meaty moral dilemma. However, so broken is the chemistry between Kristin Kreuk and Tom Welling and so mechanical their performances (you can actually see him thinking about which eyebrow to move) that we simply couldn’t care less about the moral dilemma and subsequent drama for these two characters. The Michael Rosenbaum look-alike and sound-alike (two different actors) are very close but I can’t remember why Lex is in the state he is. Aside from the writers having to remove Lex from all active plot duty. Links Previous episode: Power Next episode: Infamous

Minder 11.01 Better the Devil You Know (2009, TV) – 3/10 review

Shane Richie: Archie Daley Lex Shrapnel: Jamie Cartwright Writer: Tim Loane Writer (Series’ Creator): Leon Griffiths Producer: Sean O’Connor Director: David Innes Edwards

Minder 11.01 Better the Devil You Know (2009) Taxi driver Jamie Cartwright is about to have life turned upside-down when he meets local mover-and-shaker Archie Daley who is, as usual, up to armpits in trouble. 3/10 Cheap, worthless attempt to relaunch the series with all new characters. While Shane Richie seems to have all the right words, he simply doesn’t have the right attitude or charisma that made George Cole’s Arthur Daley an instant icon. Lex Shrapnel has absolutely no charisma and a silly walk to boot. It also looks like it was put together for a fiver and filmed on (an admittedly high-end) camcorder but it’s the all-pervasive blandness that is the critical element. There is absolutely no reason to watch or make any more of this. This Minder episode contains violence.

Ferrari Challenge Trofeo Pirelli: 365 GTB/4 Comp. Track custom livery

I’m not too convinced that I pulled this idea off. It’s supposed to be a race track with kerbing and grass. The racing numbers are styled as a grid marker (I was rather pleased with that idea).

While I felt the design looked a bit naff in the screenshots above, in replays it worked surprisingly well and that, coupled with the fact that the car was great fun to drive, made me feel a lot better about how the paint job turned out.

Ferrari Challenge Trofeo Pirelli: Ferrari 360 Modena Ying Yang custom livery

The idea behind this paint job, as indicated by the title Ying Yang, was a two-tone design with a different colour on each side of the car and the demarcation pattern to be styled after the classic ying-yang icon. Unfortunately, you can’t tell from the finished job. This is a case of one of those ideas which simply didn’t work when applied. It is posted as a complete failure.

Hustle 5.05 (2009, TV) – 6/10 review

Adrian Lester: Mickey Stone Robert Glenister: Ash Morgan Matt Di Angelo: Sean Kennedy Kelly Adams: Emma Kennedy Robert Vaughn: Albert Stroller Writer: Fintan Ryan Writer: Marston Bloom Producer: Kerry Appleyard Director: Martin Hutchings Writer (Series’ Creator): Tony Jordan Writer (Original Idea): Bharat Nalluri

Hustle 5.05 Series 5 Episode 5 of 6 (2009) While finishing a con as a team of lawyers, the gang are approached by the leader of a community youth centre to, in their ‘legal’ capacity, represent him in his fight to stop the building being demolished. While they don’t have the legal know-how, Mickey smells some dodgy dealing and senses a chance to exercise some justice outside the law. 6/10 I wonder how many community youth centres under threat there are because I am sure this kind of thing is always happening in TV dramas. Though it’s probably just me. Anyway, the episode itself is fine, some of the details are rather enjoyable and it’s polished, once more, to a fine sheen but the attempt at generating friction between Mickey, Sean and Emma is clumsy. It needed to start two episodes ago in order to make the events in this episode more convincing and deliver a more satisfying pay-off. This Hustle episode contains bad language and sensuality. Links Previous episode Next episode

Ferrari Challenge Trofeo Pirelli: F355 Berlinetta Thorny custom livery

Original Colour

Base Paint Variations

I’m really bad at abstract pattern creation but this is my attempt at one and, because it is made from the neutral colours of black and white, the base paint can be changed to almost any other colour and it still looks fine. While I was quite pleased with the design in these screenshots, I didn’t feel it looked as good during the race.