Blake Edwards’ Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978, Comedy Movie) – 7/10 review

Peter Sellers: Chief Inspector Clouseau Herbert Lom: Chief Inspector Dreyfus Dyan Cannon: Simone Robert Webber: Douvier Robert Loggia: Marchione Paul Stewart: Scallini Music Composer: Henry Mancini Writer (Screenplay): Frank Waldman Writer (Screenplay): Ron Clark Writer (Screenplay): Blake Edwards Writer (Story): Blake Edwards Producer: Blake Edwards Director: Blake Edwards

Blake Edwards’ Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978) When the hapless Chief Inspector Clouseau survives an assassination attempt that, unlike the previous eighteen, is believed to have been successful, he uses his death as the ultimate cover to go underground and discover his killers. He finds out that the French ‘mafia’ are responsible and are also planning a multi-million drug smuggling operation. Via a series of ridiculous disguises and comic situations can our hero save the day and bring the people responsible to justice? 7/10 Much-sniffed at comedy sequel but I think critics are paying too much attention to technical things that wouldn’t be noticed by most in the audience. What they would notice is faultless playing by Sellers with brilliant support from a (now) experienced cast, the best credit sequence of all the Pink Panther movies, delightfully fun music from the legendary Henry Mancini, and a good number of very funny scenes. Sadly, this would prove to be the last good, fun, completely non-distasteful film that Blake Edwards would make. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Previous: Blake Edwards’ Return of the Pink Panther

Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride (2005, Animated Romantic Fantasy Movie) – 7/10 review

Producer: Tim Burton Johnny Depp: Victor Van Dort Helena Bonham Carter: Corpse Bride Emily Watson: Victoria Everglot Albert Finney: Finis Everglot Joanna Lumley: Maudeline Everglot Christopher Lee: Pastor Galswells Director: Tim Burton Writer (Characters’ Creator): Tim Burton Writer (Characters’ Creator): Carlos Grangel Writer (Screenplay): John August Writer (Screenplay): Caroline Thompson Writer: Pamela Pettler Director: Mike Johnson

Corpse Bride, Tim Burton’s (2005) Fleeing a disastrous wedding rehearsal, Victor Van Dort practices his vows in the woods outside town and accidentally slips the ring onto the hand of a dead young woman who rises out of the ground and responds with "I do." Oops. 7/10 Magnificently animated (from frame one, it’s so good you won’t believe or even notice it was animated), voiced and designed, this is another fun, warm and wacky entry into the canon of Tim Burton but there’s not much flesh on these bones. (Sorry.) This isn’t in the same class as Burton and Elfman’s timeless masterpiece The Nightmare Before Christmas. Danny Elfman’s okay songs largely tell you nothing while the dialogue too often tells you stuff that you had already discerned or felt. But at least you do feel it, especially with the unexpectedly beautiful final shot, while "I’ve got a dwarf and I’m not afraid to use him" may be destined for quotable classic status. This movie contains mild adult references and mild unpleasant scenes, violence. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

Reign Over Me (2007, PTSD Drama Movie) – 7/10 review

Director: Mike Binder Adam Sandler: Charlie Fineman Don Cheadle: Alan Johnson Jada Pinkett Smith: Janeane Johnson Liv Tyler: Angela Oakhurst Saffron Burrows: Donna Remar Donald Sutherland: Judge Raines Robert Klein: Jonathan Timpleman Melinda Dillon: Ginger Timpleman Mike Binder: Bryan Sugarman Producer: Michael Rotenberg Producer: Jack Binder Writer: Mike Binder

Reign Over Me (2007) Dentist Alan Johnson runs into old college room-mate Charlie Fineman. Alan knows that Charlie suffered a deep tragedy but is shocked to see how psychologically traumatized he is, insisting that he remembers nothing of his family and previous life. 7/10 Though it’s woefully unconvincing in places and Sandler keeps part of himself in his big emotional scene, this is still a highly worthwhile film with interesting and positive messages for the viewer with regard to friendship, marital fidelity, and grief. Critically, charismatic, handsome, speaking-in-his-own-voice, good actor Don Cheadle turned up for this one and single-handedly compensates for any negative elements. For videogame fans, they will be delighted to see Fumita Ueda masterpiece Shadow of the Colossus featured prominently and cringe violently everytime it is misreferred to as Shadows of the Colossus. This movie contains sexual swear words, strong adult dialogue. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Doctor Who 31.01 Planet of the Dead (2009, Science Fiction Adventure) – 6/10 TV review

David Tennant: The Doctor Michelle Ryan: Christina Writer: Russell T. Davies Writer: Gareth Roberts Producer: Tracie Simpson Director: James Strong Lee Evans: Malcolm

Doctor Who 31.01 Planet of the Dead (2009) The Doctor is tracking a teensy wormhole (“it’s a hobby”) and hops on a bus. Which then drives through the now rapidly expanding wormhole and lands on a completely different planet.. 6/10 Typically for Russell T. Davies’ episodes this has a remarkably amateurish atmosphere and it’s not helped by a lack of energy or ambition from the director or Michelle Ryan’s lack of acting ability or chemistry with David Tennant. However, it’s still fun and Tennant’s Doctor is bursting with glee throughout (“the worse it gets, the more I love it”). There’s still plenty of ideas and a great iconic visual motif for publicity with the bus stranded in the desert. The presence of Lee Evans is a nice surprise and it’s reassuring to see his brilliant boffin wear his magnifying specs the wrong way around as mandated by screen law. This Doctor Who episode contains unpleasant scene, violence. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Previous episode: The Next Doctor Next episode: The Waters of Mars

The Emperor’s New Groove (2000, Disney Movie) – 8/10 review

Director: Mark Dindal Producer: Randy Fullmer Writer (Story): Chris Williams Writer (Story): Mark Dindal Writer (Screenplay): David Reynolds Supervising Animator Kuzco / Kuzco Llama: Nik Ranieri David Spade: Kuzco / Kuzco Llama Supervising Animator Pacha: Bruce W. Smith John Goodman: Pacha Supervising Animator Yzma: Dale Baer Eartha Kitt: Yzma Supervising Animator Kronk: Tony Bancroft Patrick Warburton: Kronk Lead Animator Chicha: Doug Frankel

Emperor’s New Groove, The (2000) Arrogant Aztec emperor Kuzco rules his empire with a whim of iron. But when he annoys his witch advisor Yzma one time too many, she turns him into a llama and takes over the kingdom. With Kuzco now exiled and lost in the mountains he turns to chunky peasant Pacha for assistance but the last thing the emperor did before becoming a llama was order the destruction of Pacha’s house and village to make way for the emperor’s new summer retreat… 8/10 While this is undoubtedly less technically showy than most of Disney’s immediately previous output (such as Tarzan and Dinosaur; though this is still a fantastic-looking, brilliantly-animated movie), this is a remarkably fun and funny buddy-buddy movie that is not a typical Disney formula film (no story songs) and shows that the classic animation studio is still leagues ahead of its would-be competitors. While the good character Pacha is a little clumsy, Kronk is hilarious ("squeakity-squeak") and Yzma is satisfyingly reminiscent of classic Disney villains Cruella De Vil and Madame Medusa. Classified U by BBFC. Universal: Suitable for All. Links Next: Kronk’s New Groove

Kronk’s New Groove (2005, Disney Direct-to-DVD Movie) – 6/10 review

Cast / crew Director: Elliot M. Bour Director: Saul Andrew Blinkoff Producer: John A. Smith Writer (Story): Tony Leondis Writer (Story): Michael LaBash Writer (Story): Tom Rogers Writer (Screenplay): Tom Rogers Patrick Warburton: Kronk Tracey Ullman: Ms. Birdwell Eartha Kitt: Yzma David Spade: Kuzco John Goodman: Pacha Wendie Malick: Chicha John Mahoney: Papi John Fiedler: Rudy

Emperor’s New Groove 2, The: Kronk’s New Groove (2005) Having left Yzma’s employ, Kronk is happy in his new life but news of a visit from his Papi sends shockwaves into his happiness. 6/10 A big, pleasant surprise, this Disney direct-to-DVD sequel is not horrifically awful in any way. It is generally nicely animated, has decent songs, keeps moving quickly and is almost always lots of fun. While the Kronk-loses-the-girl half is not quite as good as the Kronk-loses-the-house half, it’s still entertaining and, as a whole, this is easily recommended as a cheap Disney DVD that doesn’t qualify as torture in the developed world. Note: this was John Fiedler’s last film. This movie contains mild nudity. Classified U by BBFC. Universal: Suitable for All. Links Previous: The Emperor’s New Groove

Turok (2008, First-Person Dinosaur Shooting Game, 360) – 4/10 game review

Cast / crew

Turok (2008) Turok crash lands on a planet and is, oddly, not surprised at all to find it full of dinosaurs. Not that it matters because he won’t survive. No, I mean that. He won’t survive; you will not see the end of the game. 4/10 Well. The dinosaurs look brilliant and some of the level design in the first half is superb with lots of variety in how you can attack the level. The main complaints are that all the weapons sound weedy and the aiming controls aren’t quite right but it’s not unplayable or anything. Then we get to the level ‘Killing Fields.’ This must be the worst designed level in the history of video games. It does absolutely everything wrong. Everywhere is a dead end and nowhere links to anywhere else even though it looks like it does. There is no shelter and no caves or ledges to give you any chance at strategy. There are no visual cues to help you orient yourself in the level (everything is grey – the floor, the rocks, the sky); indeed, the level maliciously delights in picking you up and changing your position and direction whenever it feels like it. A rocket launcher guy is spawned and you are transposed to a pre-defined place you couldn’t possibly be. The checkpoint placement is wrong. The boss can be accidentally spawned meaning certain death. When he is deliberately spawned, it also means near-certain death because he has endless insta-rockets with no reload time and which cannot be sheltered from or avoided. It is the exact opposite of fun and it’s a great shame as the game was shaping up fine until that game-ending, game-destroying vomit of ineptitude and player-hate. This game contains mild swear words, adult dialogue and gory knife violence against dinosaurs, strong gun and knife violence. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Letters from Iwo Jima (2006, WWII Movie) – 7/10 review

Director: Clint Eastwood Writer (Screenplay): Iris Yamashita Writer (Story): Iris Yamashita Writer (Story): Paul Haggis Producer: Clint Eastwood Producer: Steven Spielberg Producer: Robert Lorenz Writer "Picture Letters from Commander in Chief": Tadamichi Kuribayashi Editor "Picture Letters from Commander in Chief": Tsuyuko Yoshida Executive Producer: Paul Haggis Ken Watanabe: General Kuribayashi Kazunari Ninomiya: Saigo Tsuyoshi Ihara: Baron Nishi Ryo Kase: Shimizu Shidou Nakamura: Lieutenant Ito

Letters from Iwo Jima (2006) Iwo Jima will be critically important to keeping Japan out of American hands but the overwhelming force and lack of reinforcements mean that, for the soldiers charged with its defence, it is a death sentence. 7/10 Eastwood delivers his traditional strengths of delicate pacing, good performances and lack of gratuitousness but has no point to make and fails to make the movie militarily or strategically interesting. He also fails to present the Japanese custom of suicide instead of surrender with any conviction (despite some impressively horrible suicide-by-grenades) and makes it clear that he thinks that is a stupid idea. Maybe in hindsight and the cold light of day it is, but in the middle of war and in a culture where you are directly serving a god (the Emperor), morality and reasoned thinking very much take second place. Instead, Eastwood places our sympathies with a young man who doesn’t want to die and dumps in an wise and understanding commanding officer to lead them all; making this just another American war movie except nobody speaks English. This movie contains occasional sexual swear words and graphic gun violence, gory and extremely unpleasant scenes of suicide. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over. Links Companion movie: Flags of our Fathers

Flags of our Fathers (2006, WWII Movie) – 7/10 review

Director: Clint Eastwood Writer (Screenplay): William Broyles, Jr. Writer (Screenplay): Paul Haggis Producer: Clint Eastwood Producer: Steven Spielberg Producer: Robert Lorenz Writer (Original Book): James Bradley Writer (Original Book): Ron Powers Ryan Phillippe: John "Doc" Bradley Jesse Bradford: Rene Gagnon Adam Beach: Ira Hayes John Benjamin Hickey: Keyes Beech John Slattery: Bud Gurber Barry Pepper: Mike Strank Jamie Bell: Ralph "Iggy" Ignatowski Paul Walker: Henry "Hank" Hansen Music: Clint Eastwood

Flags of our Fathers (2006) A seemingly simple picture of an American flag being raised atop a mountain on Iwo Jima captures the public imagination and the heroes who raised it are wheeled out to promote the purchase of war bonds to finance the war effort. 7/10 While it’s never quite satisfying on a psychological level – it looks like it’s going to ask interesting questions but doesn’t and looks like it’s going to supply revealing insights but doesn’t – this is, nevertheless, a fine, interesting war film that balances the traditional horrors and thrills of the battlefield with the necessary and rarely-mentioned need to pay for it all. As expected of an Eastwood film, the performances are very good, the tone is just right and the pacing is delicate; it has the feeling of a carefully crafted work of art. It’s probably a little let down by a script which insists on a moderately complex structure for no obvious reason and leaves the audience continually wondering who is narrating now and who the old guy is – ie, technical questions – instead of simply connecting to the story. This movie contains mild swear words and extremely unpleasant scenes, graphic knife violence, graphic gun violence. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over. Links Companion movie: Letters from Iwo Jima

Quantum of Solace (2008, First- and Third-Person Shooter Game, 360) – 7/10 review

Daniel Craig: James Bond 007 Olga Kurylenko: Camille Mathieu Amalric: Dominic Greene Mads Mikkelsen: Le Chiffre Judi Dench: M Senior Producer: Garrett Young

Quantum of Solace Quantum of Solace (2008) Bond follows a lead into the organisation who were manipulating Vesper Lynd. Though when I say ‘follow a lead,’ I mean Bond kills hundreds of gun-toting henchmen. Which has got to help a bit, at least. 7/10 There is a complete absence of iconic action in the movie Quantum of Solace, a complete lack of Bondian swagger and attitude in both that movie and Casino Royale and a largely bland flow to the game’s levels but with these elements accepted, this remains a highly playable shooter with some agreeable cover-based action. It doesn’t fall into the typical Bond-game trap of trying to do too many things, nor does it supply ridiculously over-powered bosses (some are quick-time events, some take one or two judicious shots) or non-standard control layouts. Multiplayer offers a good selection of game modes which work well and are fun. So while, like parent movie Quantum of Solace, this simply doesn’t feel like Bond, it is a smooth, solid, easy-to-play shooter in its own right. This Quantum of Solace game contains mild swear words and extended gun violence, strong melee violence. Classified 16+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 16 or over.. Classified Violence by PEGI. Game contains depictions of violence.

Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom (2006, Third-Person Action RPG Game, PS3 exclusive) – 6/10 review

Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom (2006) 6/10 It looks quite nice (the characters fluttering cloaks and all the water / acid effects are superb and it does run in 720p unlike a lot of PS3 games) and all the pieces are there to make an entirely satisfactory action RPG. Sadly, that includes the traditional iffy camera that makes bosses much more difficult than they should be (indeed, the last boss is so not fun that I couldn’t be bothered to persist and defeat him) and the rest of the game consisting of splatting, quite enjoyably it has to be said, off-screen monsters. This game contains extended extreme fantasy and supernatural violence, unpleasant scenes. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Heavenly Sword (2007, Third-Person Action Game, PS3 exclusive) – 7/10 review

Heavenly Sword (2007) 7/10 With developers Ninja Theory spending about a year of development (about five) per hour of gameplay and getting the core sword-wielding gameplay to be utterly uninvolving, Heavenly Sword is a significant disappointment. However, there is some real quality here which deserves to be seen and played. The cut-scenes are the best in any game to date thanks to crisp pace, good performances and, gasp!, a sense of humour and humanity which successfully counter-balances our overly-earnest heroine. Backing that up is all of Heavenly Sword‘s outstanding Sixaxis gameplay which comprises about half the game and all the fun. This game contains mild swear words and abusive dialogue and extended extreme violence with moderate gore, unpleasant scenes. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over. Available on PS3.

The Prestige (2006, Period Mystery Movie) – 9/10 review

Director: Christopher Nolan Writer (Screenplay): Jonathan Nolan Writer (Screenplay): Christopher Nolan Writer (Original Novel): Christopher Priest Producer: Christopher Nolan Hugh Jackman: Robert Angier Christian Bale: Alfred Borden Michael Caine: Cutter Scarlett Johansson: Olivia Wenscombe Rebecca Hall: Sarah Andy Serkis: Alley Piper Perabo: Julia McCullough David Bowie: Tesla

Prestige, The (2006) Professional magicians Robert Angier, The Great Danton, and Alfred Borden, The Professor, are intense, bitter rivals whose animosity becomes heightened when Borden performs the "greatest magic trick ever" and Angier knows he must know the secret. Whatever it costs. 9/10 Employing a technique that works a billion times better in books than on-screen is a trap that many filmmakers have fallen into. Perhaps, even, it only works in books. So why is Christopher Nolan’s brilliant period mystery about feuding magicians so joyously absorbing regardless? Perhaps because there’s always more going on. For example, what appears to be the central plot point isn’t (how the trick The Transporting Man is performed). Remarkably, the movie works as a mystery with a twist that’s delightfully imaginative and macabre to those who do and do not work it out. Early on, you’re told how The Transporting Man is done, only it tells you nothing. Ultimately, it’s all wheels-within-wheels with the biggest wheel, SPOILER Tesla (wonderfully realised by David Bowie), never explained at all and you probably only genuinely realise this after the movie. It is simply, magic, and, despite Scarlett Johansson, so is this film. This movie contains unpleasant scenes, brief but strong gun violence. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Anniversary (2007, Third-Person Puzzle Platform Game, 360) – 9/10 review

Producer: Lulu LaMer Creative Director: Jason Botta Lead Designer: Jason Botta Art Director: Andrew Wood Keeley Hawes: Lara Croft Game Designer: Toby Gard

Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Anniversary (2007) Lara Croft is on the trail of a Scion – a quest that cost her father his life – but quickly discovers that there are significant forces working against her both past and present. 9/10 As someone who never played the original Tomb Raider, I very much welcome this kind of project which sees an older game updated technologically but kept intact thematically and stylistically. What most surprised me is that this is essentially a non-violent game (the player kills one person but it’s horribly out-of-character and highly unnecessary for Lara; deliberately so, as it raises the question: can’t games be about more than killing dudes?). The joy comes from linear and straight-forward but satisfying traversal and logic puzzles. Every large room you enter is a moment of joy as you start scanning to find your exit and plan your route out. As a bonus, all the bosses are better and more interesting than shoot-’til-you-drop and all require a little strategy and guile to defeat (or, at least, to defeat quickly). Time trials mode from Legend makes a welcome return and, frankly, all games like this should have such a mode. Ultimately, and unusually, this game feels like a gift from the Eidos, Core and Crystal Dynamics and it’s a really nice feeling. This game contains wildlife self-defense gun violence, at-odds-with-the-game’s-tone gun violence and extreme knife violence. Classified 16+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 16 or over.. Links Previous: Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Legend (2006)

JCVD (2008) – 8/10 Fictional Real-Life Drama movie review

Cast / crew Jean-Claude Van Damme: JCVD Writer: Mabrouk El Mechri Director: Mabrouk El Mechri Writer: Christophe Turpin

JCVD (2008) Things are not going great for Jean-Claude Van Damme at the moment. His movie career is on the wane, he’s got money troubles and his daughter is being taken away from him by the courts. To sort out his cashflow problem he stops off in a Belgium post office and, to onlookers surprise, robs it. 8/10 Astonishing drama that sees Jean-Claude Van Damme play, quite brilliantly, himself. While we get the point of some of the scenes long before they are over (JCVD being the self-obsessed star barging his way into the post office), the staggering awesomeness of the premise never ceases to delight and have you glued to the screen and there are several scenes that are genuine classics. The monologue is the obvious stand-out but the opening action scene punchline and cigarette scene are fun and the dream finalé is a much-wanted joy (roundhouse kick, yay!). At the end of the day, though, it’s JCVD himself and his quite brilliant performance in an outrageously wonderful concept that sticks in the mind. Probably the only thing that’s really missing is JCVD’s bum. Nevertheless, a must-see for JCVD and film fans. This movie contains sexual swear words and gun violence, melee and martial arts violence. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

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The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005, Courtroom Drama Horror Movie) – 7/10 review

Laura Linney: Erin Bruner Tom Wilkinson: Father Moore Campbell Scott: Ethan Thomas Jennifer Carpenter: Emily Rose Colm Feore: Karl Gunderson Joshua Close: Jason Mary Beth Hurt: Judge Brewster Henry Czerny: Dr. Briggs Shohreh Aghdashloo: Dr. Adani Consultant: Dr. Felicitas D. Goodman Producer: Paul Harris Boardman Writer: Paul Harris Boardman Writer: Scott Derrickson Director: Scott Derrickson

Exorcism of Emily Rose, The (2005) Father Moore is charged with the negligent death of Emily Rose. He says she was possessed by demons and attempted to treat her spiritually; the prosecution says she had an unusual medical condition which could have been treated using drugs. 7/10 Intriguing and scary horror courtroom drama that takes inspiration from a true-life case (a book about Anneliese Michel by Dr. Felicitas D. Goodman, credited as consultant) and successfully balances a skeptic and believer viewpoint with the shock tactics and monstrous subwoofer requirements of a modern horror movie. It succeeds in being thought-provoking on the topic of demons and may prompt you to do further reading on the matter (you can even listen to recordings of Anneliese Michel online) and, though it leans toward demonism as an explanation (probably because it is scarier), it also clearly presents the medical opinion SPOILER that wins the case. While this is definitely a horror movie, a more reportedly accurate drama of the case, Requiem, has also been filmed. This movie contains a mild swear word, bad language and intense and scary scenes, car accident violence. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.