Meet the Robinsons (2007, Third-Person Action Platform Puzzle, 360) – 3/10 game review

Cast / crew

Meet the Robinsons (2007) 3/10 If you’re playing for gamerscore, this is a notably joyless experience. If you’re just playing the game, it’s not much better as the makers mess up straight-forward design decisions. The most notable example is that things you need to readily recognise change colour and texture in different areas (the transport tubes, particularly) and items you need to target with your varied selection of, sadly, awkward-to-juggle gadgets can sometimes not be seen. The auto-target system is also nearly completely broken and sometimes the directions on the left stick makes you character or the auto-target move in a different direction to that which you used. It doesn’t even look nice thanks to bland, unappealing CG character design inherited from the movie. Avalanche Software’s next Disney game, Bolt, is much, much better. This game contains fantasy violence. Classified 7+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 7 or over. Classified Violence by PEGI. Game contains depictions of violence. Links Movie: Meet the Robinsons

House M.D. 6.10 The Down Low (2010, Black Comedy Medical Drama) – 7/10 TV review

Cast / crew Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House Lisa Edelstein: Dr. Lisa Cuddy Omar Epps: Dr. Eric Foreman Robert Sean Leonard: Dr. James Wilson Jesse Spencer: Dr. Robert Chase Creator: David Shore Peter Jacobson: Dr. Chris Taub Olivia Wilde: Thirteen Ethan Embry: Mickey Sasha Alexander: Nora Nick Chinlund: Eddie Producer: Marcy G. Kaplan Producer: Sara Hess Supervising Producer: Liz Friedman Executive Producer: Hugh Laurie Executive Producer: David Shore Writer: Liz Friedman Writer: Sara Hess Director: Nick Gomez

House M.D. 6.10 Down Low, The (2010) A drug dealer collapses after experiencing spontaneous vertigo caused by a loud noise. House is excited to have a crim around and sets about trying to extract information from someone who is even more reticent than usual to share the truth. 7/10 With a patient-of-the-week (SPOILER who dies, unusually) with an interesting, as it turns out, moral dilemma (SPOILER as an undercover cop, should he reveal the location of a big drug deal, the probable source of his malaise, and therefore prevent a bust going down), House having fun trying to be Jack Bauer and two fun side-plots involving House / Wilson and an attractive neighbour (Sasha Alexander from NCIS but with blond hair) and, unusually, the team versus Foreman, this is an entertaining episode. Thanks to the clear moral dilemma (SPOILER which turns out to be irrelevant anyway), the medical predicament seems clear and so all the jargon has context and while the solution is never clearly explained, the result is and that is what is important. This House M.D. episode contains adult dialogue and mild violence, mild gory and unpleasant scenes. Links Previous episode: Wilson Next episode: Remorse

The Mentalist 2.12 Bleeding Heart (2010, Light Crime Drama) – 6/10 TV review

Cast / crew Creator: Bruno Heller Simon Baker: Patrick Jane Robin Tunney: Teresa Lisbon Tim Kang: Kendall Cho Owain Yeoman: Wayne Rigsby Amanda Righetti: Grace Van Pelt Jack Conley: Chief Donner Roark Critchlow: Mike Brewster Joe Egender: Bart Henrik Sean Maher: Wilson Fontano Vyto Ruginis: Heaton Krupp Rebecca Wisocky: Brenda Shettrick Sharon Lawrence: Mayor Melba Walker Shannon Producer: Charlie Goldstein Writer: Erika Green Swafford Director: Norberto Barba Executive Producer: Bruno Heller

Mentalist, The 2.12 Bleeding Heart (2010) The discovery of a mayoral aide buried at an official ground-breaking for a new development gets CBI involved but Jane is discomfited about a TV news reporter who gains fly-on-the-wall access to the investigation. 6/10 I love the way Jane runs as fast as possible from any physical confrontation. Beyond the obvious headline cold-reading skills of the character, this is, I feel, The Mentalist‘s most interesting and unusual contribution to the crime genre. Rigsby undoes his shirt for the second episode in a row while the awesomely nonchalant Cho most unusually cracks a smirk. This Mentalist, The episode contains mild adult dialogue and unpleasant scene. Links Previous episode: Rose-Colored Glasses

The Mentalist 2.11 Rose-Colored Glasses (2010, Light Crime Drama) – 7/10 TV review

Cast / crew Creator: Bruno Heller Simon Baker: Patrick Jane Robin Tunney: Teresa Lisbon Tim Kang: Kendall Cho Owain Yeoman: Wayne Rigsby Amanda Righetti: Grace Van Pelt Carmen Argenziano: Vice Principal Joseph DeSouza Debra Christofferson: Kay Vickers Gonzalo Menendez: L.J. Cordova Kathleen Rose Perkins: Willa Brock Michael Rodrick: Gabe Nyland Gregory Sporleder: Terence Badali Kevin Sussman: Phil Redmond Consulting Producer: Leonard Dick Producer: Charlie Goldstein Writer: Leonard Dick Director: Dan Lerner Executive Producer: Bruno Heller

Mentalist, The 2.11 Rose-Colored Glasses (2010) Investigating the death of a couple of their way to a school reunion, Jane gets an insight into something he never experienced: high school. Still, he seems quite good at starting fights. 7/10 Much more balanced and fun for the post-Winter break return of Patrick Jane. Best scene is comfortably the one where his well-meaning motivational advice to have a quiet word with someone turns into a mass punch-up. The secret romance between Rigsby and Van Pelt is now officially unconvincing and annoying. This Mentalist, The episode contains mild adult dialogue and unpleasant scenes and mild nudity. Links Previous episode: Throwing Fire Next episode: Bleeding Heart

Spider-Man: Friend or Foe (2007, Super-Hero Action, 360) – 5/10 game review

Cast / crew James Arnold Taylor: Spider-Man Lead Programmer: Steven Brekelmans Lead Programmer: Dave Forshaw

Spider-Man: Friend or Foe (2007) Nick Fury calls in Spider-Man to help sort out a load of phantom baddies that have started appearing and super-villains which are under some sort of mind control. Surprisingly, when Spider-Man releases them from their mind-control they want to join forces with the good guys to get payback. 5/10 This is an attractive, straight-forward game with a nice light tone (the female computer is agreeably droll) and good controls. It’s okay fun but something makes the combat slightly more dull than it should be: interminable dust-ups with minions that keep trickling in. Because the game never throws overwhelming numbers of enemies at you or presents interesting environments, there is no drama or tactics to utilising your available techniques. Additionally, there is no strategic reason to ever use most of those techniques and gadgets (or even the ability to walk around) as standing in one place and pressing B then X or B will clear most rooms in short order. Boss battles are rather better with weaknesses and tactics to discern and exploit. For some inexplicable reason, Spider-Man also leaves dirty footprints in lots of places. This game contains extreme violence. Classified 7+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 7 or over. Classified Violence by PEGI. Game contains depictions of violence.

Rescue Dawn (2006, Biographical Vietnam Prisoner-of-War Adventure) – 5/10 movie review

Cast / crew Christian Bale: Dieter Steve Zahn: Duane Jeremy Davies: Gene Producer: Steve Marlton Producer: Elton Brand Producer: Harry Knapp Writer inspired by true events in the life of Dieter Dengler: Werner Herzog Director: Werner Herzog

Rescue Dawn (2006) Before the Vietnam War: while on a secret bombing operation, US Navy pilot Dieter Dengler gets shot down over Laos and taken prisoner. 5/10 Sadly, this based-on-truth Vietnam prisoner-of-war adventure becomes rather dull. These guys need Rambo. Even before that the drama has little resonance and no insight. Christian Bale is good but never quite right. That’s a shame as he looks to have put some effort in as he munches on maggots and snakes. Sadly, his reported weight loss is, frankly, not particularly evident and could have been achieved using make-up. Steve Zahn goes waltzing past his acting limit and becomes a little embarrassing. Jeremy Davies is impressively emaciated but irritating as always. Story-wise, even though it’s based on truth, Herzog acknowledges it’s deliberately different from reality (he had previously made a documentary about the same subject) and the film makes Bale, probably unnecessarily and boringly, the movie’s solitary hero and plot motivator. This movie contains sexual swear words and unpleasant scenes, graphic violence. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009, Science Fiction Action Adventure) – 2/10 movie review

Cast / crew Director: Stephen Sommers Writer (Screenplay) Based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe characters: Stuart Beattie Writer (Screenplay) Based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe characters: David Elliot Writer (Screenplay) Based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe characters: Paul Lovett Writer (Story) Based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe characters: Michael B. Gordon Writer (Story) Based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe characters: Stuart Beattie Writer (Story) Based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe characters: Stephen Sommers Producer: Lorenzo di Bonaventura Producer: Brian Goldner Producer: Bob Ducsay Executive Producer: Stephen Sommers Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje: Heavy Duty Christopher Eccleston: McCullen / Destro Joseph Gordon-Levitt: The Doctor / Rex Byung-Hun Lee: Storm Shadow Sienna Miller: Ana / Baroness Rachel Nichols: Scarlett Ray Park: Snake Eyes Jonathan Pryce: U.S. President Saïd Taghmaoui: Breaker Channing Tatum: Duke Arnold Vosloo: Zartan Marlon Wayans: Ripcord Dennis Quaid: General Hawk

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, The (2009) Supplier of 70% of the world’s weaponry, M.A.R.S. has spent $13 billion of NATO’s cash on producing four nanomite missiles each capable of endless destruction. Deeming it too expensive and difficult to build himself another one or two, M.A.R.S. CEO James "Should Be A Banker" McCullen, from his UNDERWATER CITY, decides to steal the missiles back so that he can fire them at Paris, Moscow, Washington and Tokyo. Cuz. 2/10 This is a movie made from a script that was surely, surely, submitted as a joke. There’s no passion, love or apparent interest from any of the makers of the movie from director / story writer / executive producer Stephen Sommers and half-hearted production designer Edward Verreaux down through every person listed in the end credits. Nobody cared. As a director, Stephen Sommers is probably incapable of making an unwatchable movie but you’ll only need the corner of your eye to take this one in. You can safely do knitting at the same time. Or brain surgery. As an aside, editor / executive producer Bob Ducsay reveals on the commentary that he is married to the stupidest woman on earth (SPOILER she didn’t see the Arnold Vosloo = President plot twist coming). This movie contains mild swear words and strong violence. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Lie To Me 2.09 Fold Equity (2009, Mystery Drama) – 3/10 TV review

Cast / crew Tim Roth: Dr. Cal Lightman Kelli Williams: Dr. Gillian Foster Brendan Hines: Eli Loker Monica Raymund: Ria Torres Hayley McFarland: Emily Lightman Mekhi Phifer: FBI Agent Ben Reynolds Creator: Samuel Baum Abby Brammell: Poppy Wells Todd Stashwick: Hugh Ellis Jose Pablo Cantillo: Amadeo Valadez Gene Farber: Vas Belanov Ricky Jay: Mason Brock Executive Producer: Samuel Baum Writer: Sarah Fain Writer: Elizabeth Craft Director: Elodie Keene

Lie To Me 2.09 Fold Equity (2009) Lightman tries to find a missing finalist for the Poker World Championship on behalf on the man who had him permanently barred from Las Vegas. 3/10 Another poor episode sees Lightman return to Vegas to investigate a missing player from the final table of the Poker World Championship but, as with all of this season, it’s tremendously unconvincing with a plot that does sort-of make sense but not with his character motivating proceedings. Links Previous episode: Secret Santa

Lie To Me 2.08 Secret Santa (2009, Mystery War Drama) – 1/10 TV review

Cast / crew Tim Roth: Dr. Cal Lightman Kelli Williams: Dr. Gillian Foster Brendan Hines: Eli Loker Monica Raymund: Ria Torres Hayley McFarland: Emily Lightman Mekhi Phifer: FBI Agent Ben Reynolds Creator: Samuel Baum Michael Goorjian: Franco James Vincent Jason Gedrick: John Parks Mark Rolston: Ed Komsiky April Grace: Mrs. Lenox Executive Producer: Samuel Baum Writer: Alexander Cary Director: Michael Zinberg

Lie To Me 2.08 Secret Santa (2009) Lightman is sent to Afghanistan (!) to determine whether a captured American-turned-Taliban is telling the truth when he says he knows the location of two missing American soldiers. 1/10 This is quite staggeringly unconvincing in every aspect of writing and story. Sadly, this show has turned out to be a one-season wonder and with this dreadful episode it has become time to stop watching. This Lie To Me episode contains gun violence, extremely unpleasant scene. Links Previous episode: Black Friday Next episode: Fold Equity

Lie To Me 2.07 Black Friday (2009, Mystery Drama) – 4/10 TV review

Cast / crew Tim Roth: Dr. Cal Lightman Kelli Williams: Dr. Gillian Foster Brendan Hines: Eli Loker Monica Raymund: Ria Torres Hayley McFarland: Emily Lightman Mekhi Phifer: FBI Agent Ben Reynolds Creator: Samuel Baum Nick Searcy: Mr. Donnelly Shashawnee Hall: Larry Bernardo Jackie Debatin: Cheyenne Lisa Waltz: Mrs. Roland Daniel Owen Ross: Max Executive Producer: Daniel Sackheim Executive Producer: Samuel Baum Writer: Ethan Drogin Writer: Heather Thomason Director: Daniel Sackheim

Lie To Me 2.07 Black Friday (2009) Lightman is somewhat surprised to find a random teenage boy wander into his house and insist he confirm that the boy’s parents are lying to him when they tell him that they are his parents. Locher and Torres investigate a Black Friday stampede that resulted in the death of two people as the store seeks to reduce compensation payout by proving that they were not at fault. 4/10 Even by the standards of this season, this is a staggeringly unconvincing episode and it seems so unnecessary. Surely someone with the reputation of Lightman would get legitimate cases through normal means not through people randomly approaching him. Surely people wouldn’t tell Lightman and Foster deep personal secrets within two minutes just because he calls them on a lie or shouts at them. Surely Lightman’s abilities and research are just an indicator not the absolute be-all-and-end-all. Surely this show should be better. Links Previous episode: Lack of Candor Next episode: Secret Santa

The Mentalist 2.10 Throwing Fire (2009, Light Crime Drama) – 5/10 TV review

Cast / crew Creator: Bruno Heller Simon Baker: Patrick Jane Robin Tunney: Teresa Lisbon Tim Kang: Kendall Cho Owain Yeoman: Wayne Rigsby Amanda Righetti: Grace Van Pelt Chris Brochu: Young Patrick Jane Matt Cedeno: Narcisco Robrero Nick Chinlund: Alex Jude Ciccolella: Freddy Fitch Lesley Fera: Leslie Sloop Frank Gallegos: Jupiter Calidos Ellen Geer: Grandmother Brent Sexton: Doc Sinclair Consulting Producer: John Mankiewicz Producer: Charlie Goldstein Writer: John Mankiewicz Director: Martha Mitchell Executive Producer: Bruno Heller

Mentalist, The 2.10 Throwing Fire (2009) CBI investigate the death of a baseball scout in his zen garden. 5/10 Despite a brilliant baseball-in-the-side-of-the-head and interesting childhood (Iowa, 1986) flashback’s for Jane, this is an otherwise weak episode with a poorly defined story and suspects and too much all-knowing Jane being smug. Chris Bochu plays the young Patrick Jane and, despite his blond hair, reminded me very much of Smallville‘s Tom Welling. This Mentalist, The episode contains unpleasant scenes. Links Previous episode: A Price Above Rubies

Crash of the Titans (2007, Platform Action, 360) – 4/10 game review

Cast / crew

Crash of the Titans (2007) 4/10 Despite some really funky denim shorts, Crash is a charmless and irritating character to play thanks to imprecise controls that see him continuing to move whenever you stop or change direction and nearly fall over every time you attack an enemy (during which time you can be pummeled). The level design needlessly exposes the mechanics of the game by endlessly respawning the creature you need to pass a certain obstacle and giving you a power-up that allows you to take control of these creatures with one punch. A more elegant solution would be to have the shortcut for the creature and a longer, more challenging way for Crash on foot and to have Crash’s attack animations not include him falling over each time. However, each level is of just the right length, the enemy creature design is fun and I really like the way Crash moves along ledges by twiddling his fingers. This game contains mild bad language and fantasy violence. Classified 7+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 7 or over. Links Next: Crash: Mind Over Mutant

Doctor Who 31.03,04 The End of Time (2009, Science Fiction Adventure) – 5/10 TV review

Cast / crew David Tennant: The Doctor John Simm: The Master Bernard Cribbins: Wilfred Mott Writer: Russell T. Davies Producer: Tracie Simpson Director: Euros Lyn

Doctor Who 31.03,04 End of Time, The (2009) The Doctor finally returns to the Ood to see what all this prophecy business is about while, on Earth, the resurrection of the Master is about to take place on the day of humankind’s extinction. Wait, what? 5/10 This is a fitting, if not good, climax to David Tennant’s tenure as The Tenth Doctor. Fitting in that it’s a mess with variable acting (dismay at the return of John Simm’s The Master was well-founded) and sudden inexplicable shifts in tone (the Doctor arrives at the Ood all cheerful after some sight-seeing then tears off in a contrived hurry) as part of a sometimes imaginative but clunky script from departing show-runner Russell T. Davies. Tennant is good, again, and tends to nail each individual scene but sudden shifts between anger, despondence and cocky chattiness are, as they always have been, unsettling and unconvincing. The best contribution comes from composer Murray Gold who makes the episode rather more thrilling than the baffling story should allow. Be warned if you thought the end of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King was drawn out: before his regeneration, the Doctor’s reward seems to take forever. This Doctor Who episode contains mild homosexual dialogue and unpleasant scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Previous episode: The Waters of Mars

Crash: Mind Over Mutant (2008, Platform Action, 360) – 3/10 game review

Cast / crew Art Director: Yousuf Mapara Technical Director: Ryan Ridout Lead Game Designer: Joe McGinn Technical Project Manager: Katrina Archer Game Project Manager: Angie Schick Lead Programmer: Ian Gipson

Crash: Mind Over Mutant (2008) 3/10 This is an endlessly irritating game which thinks that having a bouncy ditty playing in the background means fun. The game has been redesigned to be more of an open-world environment but it takes forever to get anywhere (you will lose the will the live first) and there is no clue as to how to get to places you want to reach (for completing achievements in the end-game). Each area of the game is unlocked by playing individual missions but these are way too long with a surprisingly large number of loading screens breaking them into several parts making them feel even longer. It’s also bizarre that there’s no auto-save (even though there was on Crash of the Titans). There is some decently challenging though, sadly (thanks to the controls and camera), irritating platforming in here and the enemy creature design, but not the charmless Crash himself, is fun. This game contains innuendo and fantasy violence. Classified 7+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 7 or over. Links Previous: Crash of the Titans