Jonathan Creek 4.05 The Chequered Box (2003) – 6/10 black comedy crime drama TV review

Cast / crew Alan Davies: Jonathan Creek Julia Sawalha: Carla Borrego Writer: David Renwick Adrian Edmondson: Brendan Baxter Colin McFarlane: Inspector Fell Stuart Milligan: Adam Klaus Producer: Verity Lambert Director: Sandy Johnson

Jonathan Creek 4.05 Chequered Box, The (2003) As Adam Klaus tries to get in on the endurance magic craze, Creek ambles about his daily life and Carla is following a local police inspector around with her camera. Then Creek learns that a local journalist has taken photos of the inspector removing self-incriminating evidence from the scene of a murder. 6/10 This episode doesn’t start well with a broken gag involving a train vibrating a coffin with Adam Klaus inside and a macabre but lame joke involving decapitated motorcyclists. Macabre but clever, macabre but intriguing, macabre but funny are all fine. Macabre but lame is not. While the murder plots are clever, the contents of the chequered box are unconvincing and this episode appears to be where Renwick dumped all his weakest gags. This Jonathan Creek episode contains mild swear words and extremely unpleasant scenes. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over. Links Jonathan Creek Screened by Slimm Previous episode: The Seer of the Sands

Doctor Who 33.03 The Curse of the Black Spot (2011) – 4/10 science fiction adventure TV review

Cast / crew Matt Smith: The Doctor Karen Gillan: Amy Pond Arthur Darvill: Rory Williams Writer: Steve Thompson Producer: Marcus Wilson Director: Jeremy Webb Hugh Bonneville: Henry Avery Lily Cole: The Siren

Doctor Who 33.03 Curse of the Black Spot, The (2011) The Doctor and his crew respond to a distress signal from a pirate ship where a siren has been abducting seamen with even the smallest injury. 4/10 Taking inspiration from the title of the Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl and the mermaids of On Stranger Tides, this shows that even the Doctor is not beyond the curse that pirates usually bring to all entertainment they touch, i.e., they destroy them. Despite a quality turn from Hugh Bonneville, this is easily a contender for the worst Doctor Who episode of the modern era thanks to a completely broken plot and too many actors welling up or bursting into tears unjustifiably. As we are not involved emotionally, that’s just comes across as over-acting as does Murray Gold’s music which is completely over-the-top for a disinterested audience. This Doctor Who episode contains unpleasant scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Doctor Who Screened by Slimm Previous episode: The Impossible Astronaut / Day of the Moon Next episode: The Doctor’s Wife

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Jonathan Creek 4.04 The Seer of the Sands (2003) – 7/10 black comedy crime drama TV review

Cast / crew Alan Davies: Jonathan Creek Julia Sawalha: Carla Borrego Writer: David Renwick Adrian Edmondson: Brendan Baxter Lorelei King: Geraldine Vaccara Jonathan Kydd: Mickey Daniels Eve Polycarpou: Andonea Producer: Verity Lambert Director: Sandy Johnson

Jonathan Creek 4.04 Seer of the Sands, The (2003) (from official web site) Justin Mallory – "ghost hunter" and investigator into the spirit world – is a man dedicated to exposing fraud and exploitation in all its forms. But when he dies in a tragic boating accident and his body mysteriously disappears, is it possible that he has been wrong, and that his spirit is desperately trying to communicate with his lover Geraldine? Once again, Jonathan Creek and Carla Borrego try to solve the mystery. 7/10 The plot and gags are fiendishly imaginative and unpredictable but one wonders why we had to have an F-word, courtesy of the inexplicable source of most of this series’ unpleasantness, Adam Klaus. Yet the mix of the incredibly macabre and the very funny is probably at it’s apex in this episode. The SPOILER dwarf bodyguard is a great gag in itself but it leads to a gag so macabre, so unexpected, so grimly funny, it really is awesome. Additionally, revelations about how street magicians do their business and the difference between the reality and the edited television presentation are enlightening. This Jonathan Creek episode contains a single sexual swear word, mild swear words and unpleasant scenes, macabre scenes. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over. Links Jonathan Creek Screened by Slimm Previous episode: The Tailor’s Dummy Next episode: The Chequered Box

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) – 3/10 fantasy action movie review

Cast / crew Director: Rob Marshall Writer (Screenplay): Ted Elliott Writer (Screenplay): Terry Rossio Writer (Characters’ Creator): Ted Elliott Writer (Characters’ Creator): Terry Rossio Writer (Characters’ Creator): Stuart Beattie Writer (Characters’ Creator): Jay Wolpert Writer (Original Novel) Suggested by the novel "On Stranger Tides": Tim Powers Johnny Depp: Jack Sparrow Penélope Cruz: Angelica Malon Geoffrey Rush: Barbossa Ian McShane: Blackbeard Kevin McNally: Gibbs Sam Claflin: Philip Astrid Berges-Frisbey: Syrena Stephen Graham: Scrum Keith Richards: Captain Teague

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) Having a map to the Fountain of Youth, Jack Sparrow finds himself in demand as the English, under the captaincy of Hector Barbossa, try to beat the Spaniards to the loot. However, they aren’t the only runners in the race as the dread pirate Blackbeard is also trying to find it to stave off his prophesied death at the hands of a one-legged man. 3/10 This is a movie with an embarrassing lack of imagination and a barely coherent story. The cast all turn up but, with the exception of Penélope Cruz and her chests, that’s all they do. Ian McShane’s Blackbeard really looks the part and he, interestingly, plays it like he’s the hero and Geoffrey Rush’s repulsive Barbossa is the villain. Sadly, director Rob Marshall never uses this, or anything in the luxurious production, to do anything worthwhile or entertaining. Hans Zimmer’s music is too often intrusively bombastic as he desperately tries to drag some excitement out of the aimless action sequences; you just want to say "Hans! Turn it down will ya?!" This really is a poor show. P.S. The movie poster was taken from theshiznit. This movie contains adult dialogue and violence. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult. Links Previous: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Jonathan Creek 4.03 The Tailor’s Dummy (2003) – 7/10 black comedy crime drama TV review

Cast / crew Alan Davies: Jonathan Creek Julia Sawalha: Carla Borrego Writer: David Renwick Adrian Edmondson: Brendan Baxter Maureen Lipman: Louise Bergman Nicholas Jones: Claude Bergman Jill Baker: Donna Henry Victoria Shalet: Carrie Bergman Bill Bailey: Kenny Starkiss Producer: Verity Lambert Director: Christine Gernon

Jonathan Creek 4.03 Tailor’s Dummy, The (2003) When a leading but aging fashion designer throws himself out of an upper storey window to his death, presumably after reading an extremely harsh review, it is viewed as a tragedy. The grieving family, however, take matters into their own hands and force the journalist to literally eat her own words at gunpoint. At one point, the gunman has to remove his mask after an allergic reaction to some flowers in her room and can be clearly identified as Claude Bergman, the designer’s son. When the gunman is apprehended leaving the room, however, the mask is removed to reveal not Claude but an unknown black man. 7/10 A couple of sweet gags are icing on the cake of a really solid episode with two mysteries, both wonderfully ingenious, with one serving as an audience misdirection for the other. He presents the audience with all the same clues as Creek but you’re not going to determine all the answers. However, Renwick does include a slightly odd white slavery subplot (featuring Bill Bailey) to fill the time and, most oddly, he resolves it in favour of the baddies. This Jonathan Creek episode contains mild swear words and repeated graphic suicide jump including impact and some genuinely world class décolletage. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over. Links Jonathan Creek Screened by Slimm Previous episode: Angel Hair Next episode: The Seer of the Sands

Jonathan Creek 4.02 Angel Hair (2003) – 7/10 black comedy crime drama TV review

Cast / crew Alan Davies: Jonathan Creek Julia Sawalha: Carla Borrego Writer: David Renwick Adrian Edmondson: Brendan Baxter Jack Dee: Dudley Houseman Sophie Thompson: Dorothy Moon Tamsin Greig: Pam Caroline Carver: Sally Ellen Oakley Producer: Verity Lambert Director: Christine Gernon

Jonathan Creek 4.02 Angel Hair (2003) When a jealous wife drags her love rival across the lawn by her long, blonde hair it makes the discovery of a video tape of her own faked kidnapping utterly baffling. It was clearly recorded just a day or two earlier and she has all her beautiful long, blonde hair shorn off. 7/10 Rather more fun than the previous episode, this is decent entertainment. The unexpected gags this time are really, really good (SPOILER they both involve ventriloquist’s dummies) while the kidnapping plot is good enough and the sideplot with a woman (Tamsin Greig) on the rebound from losing her dog is excellent fun. Jack Dee struggles as a morose adulterous husband who married a musical sex icon but doesn’t get to see that when she gets home and takes her make-up off and puts her baggy clothes on. It’s a really interesting topic but Dee’s unconvincing performance overwhelms the thought-provoking reality. This Jonathan Creek episode contains strong adult dialogue, mild swear words and violence and sexuality. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over. Links Jonathan Creek Screened by Slimm Previous episode: The Coonskin Cap Next episode: The Tailor’s Dummy

Jonathan Creek 4.01 The Coonskin Cap (2003) – 5/10 black comedy crime drama TV review

Cast / crew Alan Davies: Jonathan Creek Julia Sawalha: Carla Borrego Writer: David Renwick Adrian Edmondson: Brendan Baxter Terence Hillyer: Inspector Ted Parnevik Anna Wilson Jones: Sergeant Heather Davey Stuart Milligan: Adam Klaus Producer: Verity Lambert Director: Christine Gernon

Jonathan Creek 4.01 Coonskin Cap, The (2003) Jonathan is hired by a real-crime television show where an invisible gunman takes shots at the filming of a recreation at a murder victim’s last steps. The show’s presenter is Carla Borrego, an old flame whom he managed to alienate by saying something horrible to her father. 5/10 Feeling tired, this episode gets the fourth series off to a weak start. New star Julia Sawalha convinces as the irritated ex but not as much else and there’s rather more swearing than before. However, the murder itself is still cunningly conceived. There are also some brilliantly unexpected gags including being told about Adam Klaus’ date picking Bryan Ferry’s nose and, particularly, an airbag but the streaker is remarkably unfunny and the explanation for Jonathan’s perceived insult of Carla’s father is weak. This Jonathan Creek episode contains a sexual swear word, mild swear words and unpleasant scenes and sensual scenes, full non-sexual male nudity. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over. Links Jonathan Creek Screened by Slimm Next episode: Angel Hair

360 vs PS3 Head-to-Head Face Off: L.A. Noire

Every so often, Eurogamer run a series of technical comparison reviews for games released on both Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3.

This is the latest update to the full list.

Starting with 2011 games, you can hover over the publications icons for a very quick summary.

• L.A. Noire

360 vs PS3 Head-to-Head Face Off: Round 31

Every so often, Eurogamer run a series of technical comparison reviews for games released on both Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3.

This is the latest update to the full list.

Starting with 2011 games, you can hover over the publications icons for a very quick summary.

• Brink
• L.A. Noire
• Mortal Komat
• MX vs ATV: Alive
• Virtua Tennis 4
• WWE All-Stars

BBC Formula 1 F1 Title Sequence 1920×1080 and 1920×1200 HD Widescreen Wallpapers

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Off-air capture from the title sequence of BBC’s coverage of the qualifying for the 2011 Formula 1 Spanish Grand Prix.

Fast Five (2011) – 5/10 car action movie review

Cast / crew Director: Justin Lin Writer: Chris Morgan Writer (Characters’ Creator): Gary Scott Thompson Vin Diesel: Dominic Toretto Paul Walker: Brian O’Conner Jordana Brewster: Mia Toretto Tyrese Gibson: Roman Pearce Chris "Ludacris" Bridges: Tej Parker Matt Schulze: Vincet Sung Kang: Han Lue Gal Gadot: Gisele Harabo Tego Calderon: Tego Leo Don Omar: Rico Santos Joaquim de Almeida: Hernan Reyes Dwayne Johnson: Luke Hobbs

Fast Five (2011) After violently breaking Dom out of prison, Brian and Mia join Dom in Rio and immediately sign up to steal some cars from a train. Which is heroic and laudable, obviously. But it’s okay, they’re not bad guys or criminals because Mia’s pregnant. Yeah, that’s how it works. 5/10 This is a film with a single redeeming feature: a muscular, spectacular, carnage-laden car chase to close the movie brought about by SPOILER attaching a giant safe to two cars that drag it at high speed through the city. The car action is largely very well done but elsewhere this is a bafflingly scripted action movie where our heroes are escaped felons, recidivist car thieves, extremely violent and plotting to steal $100 million and keep it for themselves. Why exactly should we want them to succeed? And this is yet another film that completely wastes Dwayne Johnson. This is being enthusiastically hailed as director Justin Lin’s best sequel in this franchise but that’s not saying much. Fast Five? Generous five. This movie contains a single sexual swear word out of nowhere, mild swear words, adult dialogue and extreme melee violence, gun violence and sensuality. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Astro Boy (2009) – 6/10 computer animated science fiction action movie review

Cast / crew Freddie Highmore: Astro, Toby Kristen Bell: Cora Nathan Lane: Hamegg Eugene Levy: Orrin Matt Lucas: Sparx Bill Nighy: Dr. Elefun Donald Sutherland: President Stone Charlize Theron: "Our Friends" Narrator Nicolas Cage: Dr Tenma Director: David Bowers Producer: Maryann Garger Writer (Original Manga) Astro Boy: Tezuka Osamu Writer (Story): David Bowers Writer: Timothy Hyde Harris Writer: David Bowers Creative Consultant: MacOto Tezka Creative Consultant: Yoshihiro Shimizu David Bowers: Mike the Fridge

Astro Boy (2009) Metro City’s Head of the Ministry of Science and "Father of Robotics" Dr Tenma builds himself a robot replacement son and fits him with a few unusual extras. 6/10 Astro Boy is a big improvement on writer / director David Bowers previous movie Flushed Away. The first chunk of the movie is rather good because the topics are unexpected and interesting. They involve death and abandonment and shocking rejection. Nicolas Cage gives the animators something to work with and together they produce some affecting scenes. Then the movie shifts from the floating Metro City to Earth, leaving all the interesting stuff in the air and devolves into the kind of movie you thought it was going to be: off-the-shelf dialogue, instantly forgettable characters and the lazy fall-back theme of ‘finding yourself.’ However, it’s always fun, consistently funny when it tries and very crisply directed. This movie contains extreme robot violence, some potentially upsetting scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

Doctor Who 33.01 The Impossible Astronaut / Day of the Moon (2011) – 8/10 science fiction adventure TV review

Cast / crew Matt Smith: The Doctor Karen Gillan: Amy Pond Arthur Darvill: Rory Williams Writer: Steven Moffat Producer: Marcus Wilson Director: Toby Haynes Alex Kingston: River Song Mark Sheppard: Canton Delaware Marnix Van Den Broeke: The Silent Stuart Milligan: President Richard Nixon Sydney Wade: Little Girl Frances Barber: Eye Patch Lady

Doctor Who 33.01,02 Impossible Astronaut, The / Day of the Moon (2011) Amy, Rory, River Song, and former FBI agent Canton Delaware are all called to Utah, America by messages contained in dark blue envelopes. When they arrive, it’s not a huge surprise that it is the Doctor that called them but an unexpected astronaut and the belated arrival of another invitee will be. 8/10 While I suppose we should be grateful that this isn’t an end-of-the-world plot for a change, it certainly feels like it’s getting too serious in it’s urge to have high stakes. Nevertheless, it’s a joy to have Matt Smith back as the Doctor (asking President Nixon for a fez!) and we’ve got River Song back making absolutely no sense as usual, Amy Pond and Rory the Roman providing stronger support than ever and yet more impressively designed man-in-a-literal-suit monsters. This is also an uncommonly good-looking episode with an opening sequence utilising some spectacular American scenery, nicely photographed and well used by the director. That said, he does bungle the entrance of the Doctor (he’s lying on an Edsel wearing a Stetson; Stetson’s are cool) by giving it less time in the scene than the travelogue shots of the scenery. The second part is stronger, more intriguing, more fun and more brilliant than the first with the importance of Neil Armstrong’s ankle revealed and a great final visual hook that, along with the plethora of other questions we’d forgotten had been raised over these two weeks, will hopefully be resolved later this year. This Doctor Who episode contains one scene of strong fantasy violence, gun violence, unpleasant scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Doctor Who Screened by Slimm Previous episode: A Christmas Carol Next episode: The Curse of the Black Spot

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Off-air capture from the title sequence of Top Gear.

CRC 2005: Cross Racing Championship (2005, PC) – 9/10 mixed-surface racing game review

Cast / crew

CRC 2005: Cross Racing Championship 2005 (2005) Drive a handful of vehicles on tarmac, snow, gravel, mud and through streams on your way to achieving the full prestige of being Cross Racing Champion. 9/10 Despite an obtuse career mode (the aim is to complete races on lower difficulty to earn upgrades and championship points so you can unlock and win every race available on the hardest difficulty, earning 100% "Prestige" to complete the game; but it’s not obvious), this is one of the greatest racing games ever available on PC. It’s looks and sounds fantastic and the cockpit view is the best I’ve ever used. It’s immersive, convincing and, miraculously, you can see out of the windscreen. You’d be astonished at how many racing games have a cockpit view that you can’t see out of. The handling is responsive, convincing and simply thrilling to feel. The England track, in particular, is breath-taking at every corner in every car on every lap. Links Creative Alchemy: Enabling surround sound under Windows Vista and Windows 7

The Princess and the Frog (2009) – 6/10 Animated Supernatural Fantasy Disney movie review

Cast / crew Director: John Musker Director: Ron Clements Producer: Peter Del Vecho Executive Producer: John Lasseter Writer (Story): Ron Clements Writer (Story): John Musker Writer (Story): Greg Erb Writer (Story): Jason Oremland Writer (Screenplay): Ron Clements Writer (Screenplay): John Musker Writer (Screenplay): Rob Edwards Writer (Story Inspiration) "The Frog Princess": E.D. Baker Anika Noni Rose: Tiana Bruno Campos: Prince Naveen Keith David: Dr. Facilier Michael-Leon Wooley: Louis Jennifer Cody: Charlotte Don Hall: Darnell

Princess and The Frog, The (2009) Tiana, a New Orleans waitress with dreams of owning a jazz club / restaurant, finds herself face-to-face with a frog who asks her to kiss him in order to turn him back into a Prince. Realising that making out with animals is an occupational hazard for animated heroines, she kisses the frog then discovers that it’s going to take more than breath mints and feigned drunken ignorance to sort out the aftermath of this one. 6/10 If you can take the songs out of the movie without it being jarring, then it tells you that the structure of your movie is all wrong. Randy Newman’s songs are pretty good; they’re just not needed and they usually tell us something after it’s already happened. Compared to the genius of the Menken / Ashman movies, you wonder whether directors Ron Clements and John Musker learned anything from working with them. The animation is great though it does fall into the contemporary trap of making characters move unnaturally quickly. The Prince, Tiana and Charlotte all work well but the side characters intrude and don’t convince and feel like toy-making opportunities and you might want to kill yourself before the horrific closing credits song kicks in. Still, respect for making the blond bimbo princess unexpectedly generous and unselfish and let’s welcome the return of physically-produced animation at Disney. This movie contains supernatural horror scenes. Classified U by BBFC. Universal: Suitable for All.

T.J. Hooker 2.01 Second Chance (1982) – 6/10 police action drama TV review

Cast / crew William Shatner: T.J. Hooker Adrian Zmed: Officer Vince Romano Heather Locklear: Officer Stacy Sheridan Richard Herd: Captain Sheridan Rebecca Holden: Lynn Hartmann Robert Davi: The Barber Victor Campos: Al Ruscio: Supervising Producer: Rick Husky Producer: Jeffrey Hayes Writer (Series’ Creator): Rick Husky Writer: Mark Rodgers Director: Don Weis Executive Producer: Aaron Spelling Executive Producer: Leonard Goldberg

T.J. Hooker 2.01 Second Chance (1982) An old unsolved case from Hooker’s past returns to terrorise a local dance teacher. 6/10 The slightly naff start of the second series sees April Clough replaced with even lovelier Heather Locklear and William Shatner replaced rather too often by his stunt ‘double’. However, the stunt work itself is of a high quality as Hooker writes off another squad car ("Well, it did have more than a thousand miles on it.") spectacularly enough to make the title sequence. This T.J. Hooker episode contains peril. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over. Links Next episode: King of the Hill T.J. Hooker Previous episode: The Witness

Thor (2011) – 8/10 fantasy action movie review

Cast / crew Director: Kenneth Branagh Writer (Screenplay): Ashley Edward Miller Writer (Screenplay): Zack Stentz Writer (Screenplay): Don Payne Writer (Story): J. Michael Straczynski Writer (Story): Mark Protosevich Writer (Original Comic Book Series): Stan Lee Writer (Original Comic Book Series): Larry Lieber Writer (Original Comic Book Series): Jack Kirby Chris Hemsworth: Thor Natalie Portman: Jane Foster Tom Hiddleston: Loki Stellan Skarsgård: Erik Selvig Anthony Hopkins: Odin Rene Russo: Frigga Producer: Kevin Feige

Thor (2011) Enthusiastically investigating a strange phenomenon, arrogant scientist Jane Foster and her colleagues drive into man in the middle of a sudden windstorm. They wonder where he came from but the answer will completely redefine their world view: he is Thor, Odin’s son, stripped of his powers, separated from his blessed weapon Mjöllnir and exiled to Earth for his arrogance. 8/10 Though it provides plenty of action and Asgardian spectacle, Thor’s best moments come when it is being rather more Loki. I’ll wait. This movie about the reality behind the gods of Norse mythology has a surprisingly reasonable dramatic backbone and sense of humanity as a tale of a god learning humility. Kenneth Branagh puts together a movie which is fine during the action but has a more solid than usual base, genuine character development for Thor and some surprisingly memorable visuals, particularly Idris Elba’s Heimdall and Chris Hemsworth’s remarkable physique. Patrick Doyle’s score is very good and critical in adding emotional involvement. All in all, this is Marvel Studios’ best film to date. This movie contains violence. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Origin: Spirits of the Past aka Gin-iro no kami no Aigot (2006) – 6/10 science fiction fantasy anime movie review

Cast / crew Director: Keiichi Sugiyama

Origin: Spirits of the Past aka Gin-iro no kami no Agito (2006) After the Earth is devastated by a cataclysm on the Moon, the survivors struggle to survive as, not only has everything been destroyed, but the forest has become malevolent. Some keep a fragile peace with the forest while others tackle the problem with munitions. Into this world, Toola, a girl from the old world is about to awaken from her StayField-induced sleep and unlock the key to restoring the former balance between men and the forest. 6/10 Getting off to a spectacular start over the opening credits as the Moon fractures and devastates Earth, Origin doesn’t build on this but keeps itself just out of reach of the audience. The villains motivation seems entirely just (they are trying to restore balance to nature) and a late attempted misuse of power seems inexplicably unnecessary. The climax also features a volcano which has had feet fitted so it can be moved. As a plot point, it doesn’t work. Presentation, however, is another story. The stunning opening sequence has already been mentioned but the entire production is a class act visually and sonically. This movie contains violence. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.