G-Force (2009) – 6/10 fantasy action adventure movie review

Cast / crew Director: Hoyt H. Yeatman, Jr. Writer: Cormac Wibberley Writer: Marianne Wibberley Writer (Original Story): Hoyt Yeatman IV Writer (Original Story): David P.I. James Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer Executive Producer: David P.I. James Bill Nighy: Saber Will Arnett: Kip Killian Zach Galifianakis: Ben Nicolas Cage: Speckles Sam Rockwell: Darwin Jon Favreau: Hurley Penélope Cruz: Juarez Steve Buscemi: Bucky Tracy Morgan: Blaster

G-Force (2009) The FBI are about to shut down G-Force, a team of genetically-engineered guinea pigs, and to avoid the axe, they decide to run their first live mission and prove how useful they can be. 6/10 This is a reasonably fun, furiously-paced action movie with unexpectedly expensive-looking special effects. It simply never seems to be a movie warranting such investment (Box Office Mojo reports a $150 million production budget) as the script is weak and lifeless. It feels like someone took a typical bottom-shelf action script and swapped human characters for guinea pigs and called it a day. As it is, the special effects are absolutely the best thing about the movie and help bring the quality voice-work of Nicolas Cage, Steve Buscemi and Jon Favreau to life. This movie contains scenes of peril. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

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The Young Victoria (2008) – 8/10 romantic epic movie review

Cast / crew Director: Jean-Marc Vallée Writer: Julian Fellowes Producer: Graham King Producer: Martin Scorsese Producer: Tim Headington Producer: Sarah Ferguson Emily Blunt: Queen Victoria Rupert Friend: Prince Albert Paul Bettany: Lord Melbourne Miranda Richardson: Duchess of Kent Jim Broadbent: King William Thomas Kretschmann: King Leopold Mark Strong: Sir John Conroy Jesper Christensen: Baron Stockmar Harriet Walter: Queen Adelaide

Young Victoria, The (2008) Victoria will be the next Queen of England but as she hasn’t turned eighteen yet, she is seen as an easy target for manipulation and control. Various parties seek to gain influence over her: one by force, one by charm and one by love. 8/10 This is a lovely movie, crisp and beautiful; a fairy tale based on truth. It doesn’t make the usual mistake of trying to make the Royal’s just like us with ordinary problems; Victoria’s life brings with it entirely other problems from Mark Strong’s puppy-kicking villain through being (initially) callously manipulated to balancing the role of Queen and wife. Even though we will never have these issues, we do recognise them and understand their challenges and they are interesting, especially when presented as elegantly and economically as this. This movie contains mild adult dialogue and a mild gory and unpleasant scene, violence and mild sexuality. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

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The Hunter (1980) – 7/10 biopic action Steve McQueen movie review

Cast / crew Producer: Mort Engelberg Director: Buzz Kulik Steve McQueen: Papa Thorson Eli Wallach: Ritchie Blumenthal Kathryn Harrold: Dotty LeVar Burton: Tommy Price Ben Johnson: Sheriff Strong Writer (Screenplay): Ted Leighton Writer (Screenplay): Peter Hyams Ralph Thorson: Bartender Christopher Keane: Mike Writer (Original Book) Based upon the life of: Christopher Keane Writer (Original Book) Based upon the life of: Ralph Thorson

Hunter, The (1980) Ralph Papa Thorson is a bounty hunter who retrieves criminals who have skipped bail. Some are easier to catch than others but one former target has just been released from prison and wants to kill the man who put him there. 7/10 While easily criticised for a lack of characters arcs and genuinely having no story (every twenty minutes Papa Thorson goes and catches a new unrelated baddie; that’s his job), this is an entertaining enough, attention-keeping production with some useful action scenes and Steve McQueen rather brilliantly subverting his reputation by running out of puff during action scenes and running into everything during driving scenes. This movie contains mild swear words and brief graphic violence, melee violence and sensuality.

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The Golden Compass (2007) 2/10 fantasy adventure movie review

Cast / crew Director: Chris Weitz Writer (Screenplay): Chris Weitz Writer (Original Book) Northern Lights: Philip Pullman Producer: Deborah Forte Producer: Bill Carraro Nicole Kidman: Mrs Coulter Dakota Blue Richards: Lyra Sam Elliott: Lee Scoresby Eva Green: Serafina Pekkala Christopher Lee: First High Councilor Tom Courtenay: Farder Coram Derek Jacobi: Magisterial Emissary Ian McKellen: The Voice of Iorek Byrnison Ian McShane: The Voice of Ragnar Sturlusson Freddie Highmore: The Voice of Pantalaimon Kathy Bates: The Voice of Hester Kristin Scott Thomas: The Voice of Stelmaria Daniel Craig: Lord Asriel

Golden Compass, The (2007) After been given a unique Alethiometer (a device which tells the truth) and told to keep it secret, Lyra finds herself the target of people who want the device for themselves. So, she whips it out at every opportunity and reads it using, not the symbols on its circumference and applying logic and insight, but by doing an pretty gold CG whoosh effect because audiences are idiots. 2/10 It’s really quite surprising just how unconvincing this fantasy adventure is. The operation of the Golden Compass and just about every plot point, conversation and character interaction doesn’t make sense. Then, at the end of the movie, you realise that it was supposed to be all about rescuing this boy and not about any of the things you thought it was about. It doesn’t help that the acting from unlikable lead Dakota Blue Richards is wooden and disdainful. The single extra star is for an unexpectedly awesome climax to Ian McKellen’s big fight scene (SPOILER he rips the lower jaw off Ian McShane – they’re bears, by the way). This movie contains brief graphic fantasy violence, other fantasy violence. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links The Golden Compass game review

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Changeling (2008) – 7/10 true period drama movie review

Cast / crew Producer: Clint Eastwood Director: Clint Eastwood Writer: J. Michael Straczynski Producer: Brian Grazer Producer: Ron Howard Producer: Robert Lorenz Producer: Tim Moore Producer: Jim Whitaker Angelina Jolie: Christine Collins John Malkovich: Rev. Gustav Briegleb Jeffrey Donovan: Captain J.J. Jones Michael Kelly: Detective Leseter Ybarra Colm Feore: Chief James E. Davis Jason Butler-Harner: Gordon Northcott Amy Ryan: Carol Dexter Geoff Pierson: S.S. Hahn Denis O’Hare: Dr. Jonathan Steele Frank Wood: Ben Harris

Changeling (2008) Christine Collins is devastated when her son, Walter, goes missing but after a couple of months the LAPD, amidst ongoing negative publicity, contacts her with some great news: they’ve found her son. However, when she meets him at the railway station, the boy the police present is not her son but they’re insisting that he is. 7/10 This is a high-quality, engrossing drama but it’s never quite as emotionally affecting as it should be. Jolie and the children seem just a tiny bit mechanical and it is enough to ever-so-slightly diminish the impact of the traumatic events that occurred. Jolie particularly just fails to convince as a mother but it’s only by a perfectly-set hair. Otherwise, this is a precision Clint Eastwood movie, an interesting story paced elegantly and presented with clarity and pristine period detail. This movie contains three sexual swear words, adult dialogue and violence, unpleasant scenes, inferred extremely brutal violence, graphic state-ordained hanging. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

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Battle Los Angeles (2011) – 6/10 science fiction war movie review

Cast / crew Director: Jonathan Liebesman Writer: Christopher Bertolini Producer: Neal H. Moritz Producer: Ori Marmur Aaron Eckhart: Ssgt. Michael Nantz Michelle Rodriguez: Tsgt. Elena Santos Ramon Rodriguez: 2nd Lt. William Martinez Bridget Moynahan: Michele Ne-Yo: Cpl. Kevin Harris Michael Peña: Joe Ringon

Battle Los Angeles (2011) As several meteorites containing identical objects crash to Earth at the same time off the coast of the world’s highest population centres, the military scramble to combat what is clearly an orchestrated invasion. But when your opponents are so technologically advanced as to invade from outer space, what can man do to stop them? 6/10 Agreeable attempt to produce a serious, focused, straight-forward military movie where the enemy just happen to be aliens. However, this produces a struggle between the Hollywood alien invasion (they invade the whole earth at once, have a simplistic motivation and get defeated simplistically and everything must explode with a giant fireball but no splash damage) and the realistic combat (every character is given a role, rank and full name – most unusual – and they even, occasionally, reload… with giant fireball ordnance). Additionally, the contemporary editing style removes all shape, story and sense of space from the action. The overall effect is thrilling enough but not memorable or distinct. This movie contains a single sexual swear word, mild swear words, crude innuendo and war violence, unpleasant and slightly gory scenes. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

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Doctor Who S33E13 The Wedding of River Song (2011) – 1/10 science fiction adventure TV review

Cast / crew Matt Smith: The Doctor Karen Gillan: Amy Pond Arthur Darvill: Rory Williams Writer: Steven Moffat Producer: Marcus Wilson Director: Jeremy Webb

Doctor Who S33E13 Wedding of River Song, The (2011) The Doctor travels to Lake Silencio to meet his death. 1/10 Absolutely dreadful series climax completely broken in concept and execution. What should be emotional is embarrassing as actors pour their hearts into performances but haven’t connected with the audience first. There’s not even the hope that future Who won’t have Amy, Rory and Melody in it. Elevated steam trains provide the only highlight and this is, by some margin, the worst episode of all six series and is to be avoided. This Doctor Who episode contains violence, unpleasant scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Previous episode: Closing Time Doctor Who Screened by Slimm Next episode: The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe

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Agatha Christie’s Poirot Hallowe’en Party (2010) – 6/10 period murder mystery TV review

Cast / crew David Suchet: Hercule Poirot Writer (Original Novel): Agatha Christie Writer (Screenplay): Mark Gatiss Amelia Bullmore: Judith Butler Paola Dionisotti: Mrs Goodbody Deborah Findlay: Rowena Drake Ian Hallard: Edmund Drake Georgia King: Frances Drake Phyllida Law: Mrs Llewellyn-Smythe Julian Rhind-Tutt: Michael Garfield Eric Sykes: Mr Fullerton Sophie Thompson: Mrs Reynolds Paul Thornley: Inspector Raglan Timothy West: Reverend Cottrell Fenella Woolgar: Miss Whittaker Zoë Wanamaker: Ariadne Oliver Producer: Karen Thrussell Director: Charles Palmer

Poirot, Agatha Christie’s Hallowe’en Party (2010) A child at a Hallowe’en party claims to have seen a murder years ago but didn’t realise it was murder. Now that she’s older, she knows better. Everyone at the party mocks her obviously attention-grabbing lies. Well, everyone except the murderer, of course. 6/10 Most impressively, the critical clue is given without obfuscation to the viewer and Poirot at the same time, nice and early in the investigation. It isn’t until Poirot twigs the significance that the audience realises too. Brilliant. Adapter Mark Gatiss successfully tidies up the reportedly slightly haphazard novel and even managing to briefly shoehorn some lesbians in (as required by ITV period drama law). Director Charles Palmer keeps a good grip on things and delivers a tidy feature-length episode. This Poirot, Agatha Christie’s episode contains adult dialogue and violence, unpleasant scenes. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over. Links Previous episode: Three Act Tragedy Agatha Christie Screened by Slimm

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Agatha Christie’s Poirot Three Act Tragedy (2009) – 5/10 period murder mystery TV review

Cast / crew David Suchet: Hercule Poirot Writer (Original Novel): Agatha Christie Writer (Screenplay): Nick Dear Jane Asher: Lady Mary Kate Ashfield: Miss Wills Suzanne Bertish: Miss Milray Anna Carteret: Mrs Babbington Anastasia Hille: Cynthia Dacres Art Malik: Sir Bartholomew Strange Tony Maudsley: Supt Crossfield Kimberley Nixon: Egg Ronan Vibert: Captain Dacres Tom Wisdom: Oliver Manders Martin Shaw: Sir Charles Cartwright Producer: Karen Thrussell Director: Ashley Pearce

Poirot, Agatha Christie’s Three Act Tragedy (2009) At a cocktail party hosted by famous actor and Poirot’s friend Sir Charles Cartwright, Reverend Stephen Babbington collapses and dies after sipping his cocktail. It looks like poison but his glass is clean and the inquest labels it a tragedy and Poirot agrees. A month later, however, the guests reassemble minus Cartwright and Poirot, and someone else, Sir Bartholomew Strange, dies in the exact same manner. This time there is no question: it is murder – nicotine poisoning – and there’s a prime suspect, new butler Ellis, but there’s still no poison in the glass. 5/10 This is a clumsy episode where adapter Nick Dear and director Ashley Pearce show no understanding of the plot. They don’t make enough of the SPOILER red-herring investigation into what connects the parson and the psychiatrist, fail to setup the motive (it carries no meaning for modern viewers) and ostentatiously and suspiciously avoid showing SPOILER the butler Ellis. As with so many of the two-hour Poirot’s, what’s really missing is humanity and humour and they fail to connect to the audience emotionally. This is a story about the shattering of the trust of friendship but you’d never tell. So instead of being a Three Act Tragedy, what we’ve got is simply Three Acts. This Poirot, Agatha Christie’s episode contains unpleasant scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Agatha Christie Screened by Slimm Next episode: Hallowe’en Party

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Doctor Who S33E12 Closing Time (2011) – 7/10 science fiction adventure TV review

Cast / crew Matt Smith: The Doctor Karen Gillan: Amy Pond Arthur Darvill: Rory Williams Writer: Gareth Roberts Producer: Denise Paul Director: Steve Hughes James Corden: Craig

Doctor Who S33E12 Closing Time (2011) The Doctor pops in to see Craig as part of a ‘farewell tour’ before he dies in a couple of days time but a trio of disappearing people and a some odd power fluctuations mean that he may have to stay and save Earth one last time. 7/10 Fun episode with a generous amount of the Doctor being cool ("I speak baby", "Here to help") and just enough shape and story to the running around to be satisfying. The homosexual dialogue feels ostentatiously normal (as in look at how normal we treat homosexuality; it’s just like a heterosexual family unit but with two dads and look how normally we reacted to it, we didn’t pull a face or anything, normal, normal, normal, see) but completely undermines itself by having Corden’s character ‘hilariously’ try to explain that he wasn’t the Doctor’s partner in that sense of the word. Homosexuality isn’t normal. It exists, but it isn’t normal. If you believe in God, he condemns homosexual acts and urges you to exercise self-control. If you believe in evolution, homosexuality leads to extinction. This Doctor Who episode contains homosexual references and unpleasant scenes. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Links Doctor Who Screened by Slimm Previous episode: The God Complex Next episode: The Wedding of River Song

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inFamous 2 (2011) – 9/10 superhero / supervillain open-world action adventure PS3 exclusive game review

Cast / crew

inFamous 2 (2011) Just as Kessler prophesied, the Beast arrives to decimate the world and Cole is preparing to take him on. As he is about to leave for New Marais to complete preparation, Cole has to engage the Beast in battle but is defeated resulting in the annihilation of Empire City. Escaping to New Marais, the Beast slowly follows overland laying waste to everything in his path but at least it will give Cole time to beef up his powers and make round 2 go his way. 9/10 Improving in every way but not breaking the perfect controls or wonderful playability of inFamous, this incredibly fun and impressive sequel is a joy from start to finish. It also delivers highly satisfying and different conclusions to the story for both good and evil playthroughs. Remarkably, both have genuine emotional impact: the good is touching, the evil is emotionally difficult. But it’s not just the big stuff inFamous 2 gets right. For some peculiar reason I absolutely love the sound of the carrier pigeons falling to the floor. The power-switching control scheme is the best and most flexible I’ve ever used (by miles). There’s no bad language. It’s not horribly violent. Brilliantly, the game automatically resumes when you start the disc, no button presses are required to get in to the game. Why more games don’t do this is beyond me. Sadly, inFamous 2 didn’t sell as well as the first but it is an exemplary, must-buy open-world action game. This game contains strong melee violence, strong fantasy violence and sensuality. Classified 16+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 16 or over.. Classified Violence by PEGI. Game contains depictions of violence. Links Previous: inFamous

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Doctor Who S33E11 The God Complex (2011) – 5/10 science fiction adventure TV review

Cast / crew Matt Smith: The Doctor Karen Gillan: Amy Pond Arthur Darvill: Rory Williams Writer: Toby Whithouse Producer: Marcus Wilson Director: Nick Hurran Sarah Quintrell: Lucy Hayward Amara Karan: Rita Dimitri Leonidas: Howie Spragg Daniel Pirrie: Joe Buchanan David Walliams: Gibbis

Doctor Who S33E11 God Complex, The (2011) The Doctor’s seeming inability to travel where he intends sees him and his companions arrive, unexpectedly, in a perfect recreation of an Eighties’ Earth hotel but this hotel may become their prison. 5/10 Weak Who with worthless lives in meaningless danger. As mentioned before, if you always put people’s lives in danger it’s no longer an extraordinary circumstance and loses dramatic impact. The story point of the episode, however, is excellent as the Doctor SPOILER leaves Amy and Rory to get on with their lives without him. It’s a true sacrifice that places the personal interests of others ahead of his own need for companionship and an audience. This Doctor Who episode contains mild peril. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over. Links Previous: The Girl Who Waited Doctor Who Screened by Slimm Next episode: Closing Time

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