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Man of Steel (2013) Sent to Earth to escape the fate of his doomed civilisation, Kryptonian Kal-El, as Clark Kent, grows up into an urban myth, as elusive as he is heroic. When an alien craft is discovered, Clark not only learns more about his origins but brings extinction-level doom to the planet he now calls home. 6/10
This feels like a film that has had all depth edited out in favour of wall-to-wall noise and never earns the dramatic impact it is endlessly punching people through buildings for. Man of Steel does have strengths, though. Critically, Cavill is terrific, looks amazing, instantly is Clark Kent and Superman and is never overwhelmed by the shadow of Christopher Reeve. Amy Adams defies her ridiculous part to connect and convince and Hans Zimmer’s music delivers emotion and grandeur that what remains of the story and characters lack. Snyder probably shot a much better film than this, but it feels like he’s edited away the heart, soul and any potential magic in favour of super-dudes (and dudette) super-punching each other for two-and-a-half hours.
This movie contains incessant super-violence.
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Category Archives: Movies
Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.Righteous Kill (2008) – 6/10 police serial killer drama movie review
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Righteous Kill (2008) A veteran cop starts taking out criminals that have escaped justice but an escalation in his activity and the leaving of little poems by the victims indicates that he may be losing control of his sanity. 6/10
Pacy, efficient cop drama which takes a fairly unusual angle to this oft-considered subject of killing criminals who have sidestepped legal justice by making the perpetrator a full-blown psychopath (though the movie calls him a sociopath, which I believe is wrong, as there is strong moral recognition). Normally, there’s all manner of justification of a man whose sense of justice is so offended he is moved to act but not here, not really. Unfortunately, while the film is professionally put together, easily keeps your attention, is entertaining from start to finish and features a surprisingly awesome exit for Curtis Jackson, it’s not quite as interesting as you suspect it could have been and the ending feels meddled with. Is a psychopath killing unwanted members of society a bad thing? At least he’s not a sociopath, right? Is cop-assisted suicide a tidy and convenient tool? Righteous Kill never quite gets that far but it might have been a bit more memorable if it had continued exploring the path it started down.
This movie contains sexual swear words, adult dialogue, sex scenes, graphic violence, gory and unpleasant scenes, substance abuse.
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Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) – 6/10 science fiction action movie review
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Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) As Captain of his own starship Kirk is the arbiter of right and wrong but that doesn’t prevent his decisions having consequences. His maverick attitude seems perfect, however, when a new threat emerges – John Harrison – and Starfleet needs to, against their own ethics, eliminate him quickly and quietly. The only problem: Harrison has taken refuge on Kronos, the Klingon home planet, a species clearly itching for war, and the U.S.S. Enterprise waltzing into their space would be the perfect excuse. 6/10
It would take a brave filmmaker to make a Star Trek movie about space exploration and the wonder and delight of discovery. Anyway, back to reality. J.J. Abrams delivers this highly competent but soulless remake that replaces an intriguing and involving battle of wits with dudes punching each other endlessly. The Audi Spock Challenge ad has a more cerebral plot. Ancillary question: does Spock have a first name? While Into Darkness has a professional sheen and reasonable entertainment value, the movie does have something that rises above the ordinary: Benedict Cumberbatch. The once-floppy-haired posh boy convinces completely as a super-soldier, better at everything; better in the story and better in the movie. He might even have a better Batman voice. (You can tell what he’s saying.) Oh, and this is another movie where the entire climax is featured and spoiled in the trailer.
This movie contains bad language, adult dialogue, sexuality, extreme violence including an inferred skull crush and a leg break.
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Iron Man Three (2013) – 6/10 superhero action movie review
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Iron Man Three (2013) Another day, another supervillain: Mandarin. He’s managing to perform acts of terror that are not leaving any clues and he is closing in on his ultimate target: the President of the United States. Meanwhile, Stark is suffering from anxiety attacks (following the New York alien invasion) and a desperate lack of sleep but punching bad guys may be just the tonic he needs. 6/10
Largely fun knockabout superhero fluff with a good number of wisecracks, a couple of strong moments (usually involving Pepper), at least two surprise plot developments (Ben Kingsley’s Mandarin and the potential closing of Downey Jr’s reign as Iron Man) and one near-standout action sequence (Barrel of Monkeys), but it’s once more spoiled by it’s trailer (Iron Men reveal) and undermined by a cavalier disregard for plot coherence (aren’t Iron Man suits locked to Stark and Rhodes?), action scene continuity (spawning bad guys) and fleshbag Tony Stark being tossed around without harm while not in his eponymous suit. Yes, I understand that Iron Man is not the suit, it’s the man, but just highlighting that semantic does not make you impervious to physical damage. The end credit music is brilliant and should have been used in the film instead of the anonymous score.
This movie contains extreme fantasy violence, bad language, unpleasant scenes.
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Megamind (2010) – 7/10 3D animated supervillain action movie review
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Megamind (2010) As Metro City prepares to unveil a massive monument and museum to their resident superhero, equally resident supervillain Megamind plans to do battle once more. Once he escapes from prison, of course. 7/10
In a completely different league from director Tom McGrath’s execrable Madagascar movies, this is a charming, fun super-villain movie with an abundance of nice animation and a strong plot. Even though his voice is a bit old, Will Ferrell is also top-notch as he and Megamind’s animators manage to bring heart where (giant blue) head could easily dominate. Our impressively be-caped protagonist’s insistence on presentation and persistence are entirely admirable and uncommon backbones for any movie. Commending effort is a life skill that we can all benefit from. Much, much better than the superficially similar but morally obnoxious and dreary Despicable Me.
This movie contains violence, unpleasant scenes.
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Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012) – 6/10 stop-motion animated adventure movie review
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The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012) Desperate to win Pirate of the Year competition, Pirate Captain redoubles his effort to steal as much gold as he can but the key to unrealised treasure is much closer to home. 6/10
I do not understand why pirates are held up as aspirational heroes. This is a film designed for all ages yet promotes stealing, murdering and self-interest. The film’s positive message that friends are worth more than gold, even worth more than ham, is clearly presented but overwhelmed by a finalé that emphasizes the magnitude and awesomeness of Pirate Captain’s law-breaking reputation. He wins by being branded, essentially, an international terrorist; he is labeled as a pirate Osama Bin Laden. Hmm. That said, the film is quite entertaining, has a couple of nice gags and is paced very well. With a bit of luck, all that stealing, murdering and selfishness will go over your child’s head in favour of growing a luxuriant beard. Even if they’re a girl.
This movie contains bad language, violence.
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Classified U by BBFC. Universal: Suitable for All.Oblivion (2013) – 8/10 science fiction action movie review
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Oblivion (2013) Jack and Victoria live on a post-alien invasion post-nuclear annihilation Earth manning Tower 49 and repairing flying gun drones that protect giant machines sucking up seawater to provide resources to humanity now living on Titan – one of Saturn’s moons – from Scavs, scattered surviving alien invaders. Unlike Victoria, Jack likes to peruse and collect some of the few 20th-century artefacts that survived the global holocaust. Life continues as normal until a beacon starts transmitting and brings Jack’s entire handle on his existence crashing down. 8/10
Visually and sonically spectacular science fiction action movie with enough intrigue to keep the interest. The movie gets off to an unnecessary start with a probably-added-at-the-last-minute opening narration that the next hour of the movie then retells us, ultimately verbatim, and Tom Cruise doesn’t quite convey the emerging emotions of his character. As with a lot of big-budget science-fiction movies with the subjects involved here, the plot doesn’t stand up to much scrutiny leaving the quality of the movie to be judged on the immediate entertainment value alone and I really enjoyed it.
This movie contains a single sexual swear word, bad language, violence, nudity, sexuality.
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Total Recall (2012) – 2/10 science fiction action movie review
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Total Recall (2012) Doug Quaid is a factory production line worker plagued by disturbing dreams of a heroic alter-ego who gets captured and fails to save the girl. Dream sellers Rekall offer a service where they implant memories of whatever you want but when Quaid goes and buys the Secret Agent dream, Rekall tell him he really is a secret agent and then a load of police burst in and shoot all the staff. 2/10
This is a remarkably uninteresting movie. It never gets your attention thanks, partially, by never giving you enough visual information to process and invest in each scene, especially the action scenes. The cast generally look impressively uninvested though it takes Kate Beckinsale the first few minutes before she gets bored. Some of Patrick Tatopoulos’ production design has imagination and ideas and nearly has some style but that’s the only artistic element of the film of note. Total Recall is instantly forgettable.
This movie contains sexual swear words, bad language, graphic violence, gory and unpleasant scenes, extraordinarily boring triple-breasted female nudity.
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Limitless (2011) – 7/10 science-fiction thriller movie review
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Limitless (2011) Eddie Morra is a blocked writer who is given a wonder-drug that unlocks the potential of his brain so that he can use every piece of information he has ever absorbed. 7/10
This is a movie that has an interesting core and is fine, pacy entertainment but there’s a nagging sense that it’s not fulfilling it’s potential; that it’s never quite as interesting as it should be. From the tired in media res opening onward, Limitless keeps undermining itself with worthless peril, inexplicable murders (the two in the park, especially) and a narration that too often tells us things we already know or were about to find out and what’s going through the screenwriter’s mind rather than the characters. Still, the idea that unlimited access to all information (like the Internet, perhaps) leads to attention deficit feels timely and, ooh, look! A funny cat picture.
This movie contains extremely unpleasant and violent dialogue, adult dialogue, mild sex scenes, pervasive substance abuse, strong violence, extremely gory scene, extremely unpleasant scenes.
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True Lies (1994) – 7/10 James Cameron action movie review
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True Lies (1994) Harry Tasker is a computer salesman or at least that is what his wife thinks, for in reality he is a top secret agent. 7/10
It says something about James Cameron’s directorial skill that this is his worst film. And yet it still contains spectacular, iconic action underscored by interesting, recognisable themes. And yet, despite the largely majestic action, Cameron stumbles with some oddly poor technical (shoddy in-car green screen) and sequence choices (bike jump across a street which could just as easily have been to an adjacent building and a gun tumbling down stairs in excruciating slow motion) and never quite nails the pace and tone of the domestic drama (the goriest moment of the film is supposed to be funny and Arnie’s emotions and actions are at odds). But then we do get Arnie smashing rottweilers, Arnie diving under a sea of fire, Jamie Lee Curtis being plucked from a doomed limo, Arnie destroying terrorists and saving his daughter using a harrier jump jet and Bill Paxton peeing himself. Which is more-than-enough to keep us happy!
This movie contains sexual swear words, strong adult dialogue and graphic violence, extreme violence, unpleasant and gory scenes and sensuality.
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Support Your Local Gunfighter (1971) – 8/10 comedy western review
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Support Your Local Gunfighter (1971) When conman Latigo Smith rolls into town escaping from the clutches of fiancée Goldie with all her money, he soon succumbs to his one weakness: the roulette table. And loses all his money, of course. However, he soon thinks up another scheme by getting local horse-holder (!) and town idiot Jug May to pose as legendary gunslinger Swifty Morgan and hiring out his services despite neither of them being able to fire a single shot in a straight line. 8/10
Terrific comedy western which may disappoint on first viewing because it is not in the same style as predecessor Support Your Local Sheriff (1968). It may go above the heads of youngsters by ditching the more slapstick elements of its predecessor Support Your Local Sheriff in favour of mind games and gags more related to human weaknesses. However, the adults in the audience will still enjoy this. Garner, Morgan and beautiful, big-eyed Pleshette are all on top form but are outshone by the wonderful Jack Elam as his trusting sidekick Jug May. There’s even three (count ‘em) top-notch ‘ass’ jokes.
This movie contains adult dialogue and violence, unexpectedly and extremely unpleasant scene (just about off-screen finger-breaking, twice).
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Scoop (2006) – 6/10 Woody Allen comedy thriller movie review
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Scoop (2006) An American journalism student in London is given a scoop by a recently deceased reporter and somehow winds up with the help of magician Sid Waterman to expose the big story. 6/10
Whenever Woody Allen is talking, Scoop is a huge amount of fun. Whenever anybody else is, it makes you pine for Allen and his former muses Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow. Scarlet Johansson never nails the wonderful, infectious, endearing ditziness that the part calls for. That’s not to say that this is a great script. Ian McShane’s deceased reporter always feels clunky and a lot of the lines that propel the plot are perfunctory. The other dialogue is always okay, sometimes good ("You’re a credit to your race", "It’s a family trait, actually, lack of buoyancy", "I used to be of the Hebrew persuasion, but as I got older, I converted to narcissism", "I don’t need to work out. My anxiety acts as aerobics"), but all of it is delivered brilliantly, peerlessly by Allen. His comedic charisma is simply gigantic. Scoop helps you to appreciate yet more his towering talent at dialogue delivery.
This movie contains adult dialogue and mild violence.
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Hooper (1978) – 5/10 action comedy movie review
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Hooper (1978) Ageing stuntman Hooper is enticed to end his career with one last huge stunt, a 328 foot jump over an exploded bridge in a rocket car. Not only will this stunt end his career but he is very real danger of it ending his life. 5/10
Hooper is a bizarrely unconvincing tale of a stuntman realising retirement is looming and wanting to go out on one last big stunt. It’s reasonable enough fun and was popular at the time but the stuntwork is poorly filmed with some atrocious stunt double work, no consideration given to the suspenseful and interesting preparation and no indication that stunts are filmed a tiny piece at a time and their production is no less dramatic for it. Instead, we get a final stunt sequence where a million stunts are all strung together impactlessly and the finalé rocket car stunt looks like a model. This flat incompetence is a trademark of stunt coordinator turned director Hal Needham. There is but a single stunt that is impressively filmed – our hero car driving under a collapsing chimney stack – the danger and skill is captured perfectly but it’s the only time it happens.
This movie contains bad language, strong adult dialogue and violence. |
In Time (2011) – 6/10 science-fiction on-the-run thriller movie review
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In Time (2011) Everyone is genetically engineered to stop aging at 25 at which point you are given 1 year on your personal clock. When your time runs out, you die. Fortunately, you can earn more time but Will Salas is about to come into a century of time that will change his life. Maybe forever. 6/10
While it’s pacy and entertaining enough, this movie is still something of a failure. But it’s the kind of failure I want to watch and see more of. It takes an interesting concept and worthwhile topics and attempts to fold them into an on-the-run thriller but a lack of coherence (getting the plot from kidnapping Weis to Bonnie and Clyde feels like a cludge) and an ineffectiveness at explaining why our heroes actions are to be seen as good (they deliberately cause a global financial crisis – something that wasn’t too well received in the real world in 2008) mean that its welcome ambition isn’t quite realised.
This movie contains a single sexual swear just to make sure it’s a 12a / pg13, adult dialogue and violence and sexuality.
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Shadow of a Doubt (1942) – 8/10 Hitchcock crime suspense drama movie review
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Shadow of a Doubt (1942) When Uncle Charlie arrives in the small Californian town of Santa Rosa, he is welcomed with open arms by his family, especially his niece, also named Charlie. However, she soon begins to harbour doubts about her favourite uncle. 8/10
"We’re not talking about killing people. Herb’s talking about killing me and I’m talking about killing him." – Joseph Newton Something clearly evident here is the sense of glee that Hitchcock, and no one else, brought to the subject of murder and was a critical element in making his films so entertaining. Even though he usually made crime thrillers, Hitchcock also consistently made his films will-he-get-away-with-it’s not who-dun-it’s. He then backs that up by making it a very real possibility that the villain (a successfully cast-against-type Joseph Cotten) will, if not succeed at his malevolence, get away with it. Hitchcock’s repeated success at balancing these two elements (among others) is why he is a genius.
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The Wrong Trousers (1993) – 10/10 stop motion classic comedy action movie review
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The Wrong Trousers (1993) Wallace buys Gromit a pair of Techno-Trousers to take him for walkies but their lodger sees them and envisages an entirely different, and more nefarious, usage. 10/10
While this is lightning-in-a-bottle stuff and one of the most brilliant half-hours of film ever created, writer, animator and director Nick Park has shown with his subsequent movies that this funny, imaginative, snappy, charming and warm-hearted adventure wasn’t a fluke. Climaxing with a classic chase sequence which features a moment as good as Bond’s Lotus diving into the water or anything you can name, this is a pleasure from start to finsh and is absolutely, categorically, undeniably a must-watch for everyone.
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Safe (2012) – 7/10 Jason Statham action thriller movie review
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Safe (2012) Cage-fighter Luke Wright sees his life go very badly when he inadvertently fails to throw to rigged match. As he contemplates suicide, he sees a young Chinese girl alone and, in the flicker of eye contact, life. 7/10
Highly effective action thriller which sees Jason Statham punching all the criminals in New York before Liam Neeson can get there from Europe presumably. The action is very well done and Statham can really sell this stuff. Additionally, he also nails his character emotionally and is the anchor of Boaz Yakin’s successfully achieved vision of a seventies-style character thriller. He builds to a brilliant, highly satisfying but unexpected, battle between two super-assassins (a cool Clark Kent-looking Anson Mount).
This movie contains bad language and strong, graphic violence.
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Lockout (2011) – 6/10 science fiction action movie review
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Lockout (2011) 2079: framed ex-CIA operative Snow is offered his freedom from a 30-year stasis incarceration if he rescues the President’s daughter from a maximum security prison. In space. Where all the prisoners have been let out. 6/10
I enjoyed this agreeably cheerful Die Hard in a space prison and was pleasantly surprised by an entertainingly glib Guy Pearce. The problem comes from some scenes having too much edited out of them. Movies are made up of sequences which should make sense; little rounded out stories that naturally or convincingly move the film from one point to another. The easiest way to tell if a filmmaker has been successful at doing this is is if you can reference a sequence by name alone. Remember the bit with the? Remember the scene where he? Without defining each sequence, framing the highlights and making it coherent, it becomes forgettable. For example, the opening fight sequence has a gun move that is extraordinarily cool and you probably missed it because the directors neglected to highlight anything. Or the final sequence where our heroes do a Baumgartner and it’s flat and incoherent. This movie is definitely fun while it lasts but no more.
This movie contains a single sexual swear word, bad language and strong violence, unpleasant scenes, sexual violence.
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Prometheus (2012) – 5/10 science fiction horror movie review
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Prometheus (2012) 2093: Scientific Exploratory Vessel Prometheus arrives at planet LV 223 following clues found in the writings of ancient civilisations picturing giant beings pointing to a universally unique constellation. They, luckily, fly over a deserted installation and stop to investigate. They’ll probably wish they hadn’t. 5/10
Disappointing science-fiction horror made by intelligent people producing stupid work about intelligent people doing endlessly stupid things. Yeah, it looks great, is technically proficient, skilfully showcases another world and features some good horror scenes but everything that occurs is the stupidest thing that could possibly have occurred. If the characters had pulled out custard pies and starting hurling them at each other, the film would have been at a higher intellectual level. And yet there is interesting stuff in here; fascinating and worthwhile questions. What if you met your creator and they disappointed you? What if a creator’s work disappointed you? Does a creator have the right to destroy his creation? Does a woman have the right to abort a life inside her? Was that really Guy Pearce under that awful old age make-up? Why was it Guy Pearce? Why on earth was it Guy Pearce?
This movie contains graphic violence, gory and extremely unpleasant scenes and sexuality.
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Steam Custom Images: Electronic Arts
Steam now allows you to set custom images for all items in your library, including non-Steam games. Here are a few images I have made for myself derived from official artworks and images found on Google Image Search. If you are the copyright holder or original artist and wish me to remove an image, please contact me.
These are the latest updates to the full list of Steam custom images.
James Bond 007 Nightfire (cover)
James Bond 007 Nightfire (title screen)
Mass Effect 3 (cover)
Mass Effect 3 (logo)
Mass Effect 3 (Shepard silhouette)
Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault
Need for Speed: The Run
The Saboteur (cover art)
The Saboteur (gold)
The Saboteur (red)
Alfred Hitchcock’s Saboteur (1942) – 7/10 Hitchcock wrong man thriller movie review
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Saboteur, Alfred Hitchcock’s (1942) An aircraft factory worker is suspected of sabotage when his friend dies and the factory burns down but flees the police with the address of the man responsible. 7/10
Quality Hitchcock which delivers excitement, suspense, romance and humour with apparently no effort whatsoever. Some of the speechifying grinds things to a halt and is clearly present for propaganda effect (the film was made in 1942, halfway through World War II). The two leads are pleasant enough without being particularly memorable (though Hitchcock’s use of Priscilla Lane means that her character being a model is not a negative point; imagine if a movie were made today where a model is the heroine, grief!) but when Hitchcock is doing what he does best, the set piece, the film is near faultless. The most famous set piece is the Statue of Liberty finalé which is superbly constructed and benefits from perfect special effects though the absence of music does seem an odd choice. There are many other superb set piece sequences including a shootout at a cinema, an inescapable charity ball, a fight inside a van, the opening aircraft factory sabotage sequence and more suspenseful scenes involving a blind man and a circus troupe. Hitchcock also uses a baby as a bullet-shield for the hero and I wonder just how many movie heroes did that!
This movie contains adult dialogue and violence, gory and unpleasant scenes.
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Inkheart (2008) – 6/10 fantasy adventure movie review
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Inkheart (2008) Nine years after his wife left, antique book restorer Mo travels the world with 12-year-old daughter Meggie looking for a particular rare book, Inkheart. When, at last, he finds a copy, he is confronted in the street by Dustfinger – a man who can conjure fire in his hands – and Meggie is about to learn the truth about her mother and father. 6/10
This is an unfulfilling, unflamboyant movie that takes a great-sounding idea then plods towards an entirely unwonderful climax constantly undermining itself with pop-up villains and a lack of involvement (despite good work from Brendan Fraser and the cast). However, it’s one of those films that may inspire you to write-the-rongs, to take the good – the Silvertongue concept – and do something better with it. Also, do parents really read stories with undisguisedly sadistic villains and giant shadow monsters from hell to three-year-olds?
This movie contains mild violence, unpleasant scenes.
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Skyfall (2012) – 8/10 Bond / M movie review
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Skyfall (2012) While attempting to retrieve a list containing the identities of every undercover agent in NATO territory, Bond is badly injured – at one point, he is presumed dead – but his irrepressible call of duty compels him to attempt a quick return to active duty. M wants him back too, as he is her man for fighting those in the shadows. 8/10
This is a less bombastic than usual, great-looking Bond which manages to deliver a myriad of welcome touches of humour and nods to the franchise including a better-than-expected cameo from Goldfinger. Sad to say, the action is not given enough clarity once more, not as shredded as Quantum of Solace thankfully, but generally the audience isn’t given quite enough information to comprehend the scene (leaving the opening crane sequence of Casino Royale the only iconic action of Daniel Craig’s Bond so far). The real goods in Skyfall is the cast. The movie truly captivates when Bardem’s bad guy eventually makes his classic entrance. He’s cool, insane and unsettling quite apart from his memorable physical appearance and ghoulish secret. Daniel Craig conveys Bond’s strut managing to withstand considerable onslaught from the moving times, his own aging, injured body and Bardem’s hand. But the absolute highlight of Skyfall is Judi Dench. She knocks one-liners out of the park (she’s much better at them than Craig), she has chemistry with absolutely everyone, she has charisma beyond her diminutive size, she conveys humanity and necessary hardness. It turns out that this isn’t just a Bond film, it’s a M film.
This movie contains a single sexual swear word, bad language, adult dialogue and violence and mild sexuality.
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Frankenweenie (2012) – 7/10 Tim Burton stop-motion animated childrens science-fiction horror movie review
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Frankenweenie (2012) After Victor Frankenstein secretly brings his beloved dog Sparky back to life, when it’s discovered by classmate Edgar, it’s misinterpreted as Victor’s entry into the upcoming science fair and the other children know that they’re going to have to raise their game to beat him. 7/10
Tim Burton’s visual style remains unique but it’s his ability to extract humanity, good-naturedness and intelligence from his grotesquery that is his greatest strength. Frankenweenie has substance behind it’s style with some inventive (especially if you haven’t seen a trailer) and delightful moments, a classic speech for the wonderful Mr. Rzykruski and a consistently nice, fun tone while still providing a space for the scary and the troubles of school. The thing that stood out most to me, though, was the positive onscreen family. Firstly, it’s a complete and functional family with a mother, father and son. Secondly, the parents are considerate, responsible, authoritative, reasonable and supportive. It’s a genuinely refreshing element. However, while the movie is certainly nice and fun the tone is a bit subdued, even during the dramatic climax. It probably needed a character with a bit more life somewhere; perhaps a pint-size Beetelgeuse. Even though he’s technically dead. Well, actually dead.
This movie contains gruesome and scary scenes.
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Charade (1963) – 10/10 romantic comedy mystery thriller movie review
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Charade (1963) “Reggie” Lampert goes away on holiday to the Alps and returns to find her apartment empty and her husband dead. Not only that but she discovers that her husband was at the centre of a diamond smuggling operation and the other members of the gang are intent on getting their share. Add to this a stranger whom she befriends and the US Government interest in her late husband’s activities. However, as things unfold, it becomes clear that some of these people are not who they say they are. Who can she trust in this elaborate charade? 10/10
"You know what’s wrong with you? Nothing."- Audrey Hepburn to Cary Grant in Charade One wonders just how many films have ever been made with the perfect cast. This is one of the few and it is truly wonderful. It’s a never-bettered romantic comedy mystery thriller with genuine romance, chuckles, mystery and thrills thanks to a packed plot and great lines from writer Peter Stone and irresistible stars Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn. If Alfred Hitchcock himself had made this (he had nothing to do with it), it may have contained some directorial flourishes but the only thing that is genuinely missing is his traditional cameo. To say anything of the story would spoil it but the plot is a series of wonderful intrigues as adorable, adorable, Audrey Hepburn finds herself up to her eyes in dead bodies and missing treasure but still flirts unashamedly with me. Er, I mean, Cary Grant. There’s a marvellous Henry Mancini score and theme song, a Maurice Binder credit sequence and the production is technically first-rate. However, the sheer entertainment (we even get Walter Matthau and his funny turtle-on-two-legs run) and fun of Charade simply cannot be overstated. Fully, fully great. This movie contains violence, unpleasant scenes.
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Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010) – 7/10 action detective mystery movie review
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Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (2010) As the coronation of the first female Emperor of China approaches and a 218-foot tall statue of Buddha erected in her honour is nearing completion, the foreman dies after moving a couple of ceremonial banners. The manner of his death confirms supernatural intervention: he is consumed by fire from within. In the face of such a mystery, the Empress calls on the services of Detective Dee who had been sent to prison eight years earlier… for partaking in an attempted revolution against her. 7/10
Tremendously entertaining if not exactly coherent (a Tsui Hark trademark) fantasy detective thriller with action sequences impressively and imaginatively unconstrained by physical limitations. I’m always impressed by the ability to construct fight and action sequences that clearly are not possible but remain convincing. It’s a wonderful leap of imagination to think them up and a spectacular logistical challenge to make them appear effortless and natural on screen (scores of intricately manipulated wires for this particular movie). It’s a talent that the Chinese action choreographers (Sammo Hung here) have developed most assuredly and the results are very cool.
This movie contains mild adult dialogue and fantasy martial arts violence, extremely unpleasant scenes and mild nudity and mild sexuality.
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Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.Fletch (1985) – 8/10 classic comedy thriller movie review
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Fletch (1985) Undercover reporter Irwin M. Fletcher is investigating a drug smuggling ring when he is asked by Alan Stanwyck, a wealthy young man with bone cancer who thinks Fletch is a druggie, to kill him. 8/10
Classic, if slightly forgotten (along with the equally good Stakeout), eighties comedy thriller which, unlike Beverly Hills Cop before it and Lethal Weapon after it, was actually a comedy. This is a timeless, charming, generously funny movie with Chevy Chase on iconic form (he always says the witty thing you wish you’d said) but the surprise is that the mystery story is good and every supporting character has something that’s interesting, important or fun about them. Special mention for Harold Faltermeyer’s classic music and theme song.
This movie contains mild swear words, adult dialogue and drug references and violence.
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Justice (2011) – 6/10 vigilante conspiracy thriller movie review
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Justice (2011) After his wife is brutally raped (though I don’t suppose there’s any other way), teacher Will Gerard receives an offer to have someone kill the rapist now in return for a favour later. When the favour is requested, Will cannot go through with it. 6/10
"You see what Shakespeare’s doing here? He’s using words to create emotion." – Will Gerard Shame Shakespeare didn’t write this. There isn’t an ounce of emotion throughout the entire journey. This is a generic action conspiracy thriller which also overlooks the genre requirement to thrill; indeed, the most notable thing about the movie is a complete lack of tension. However, it does raise the intriguing ‘what would you do?’ question regarding vigilante justice and it is remarkably unusual to see the wife be actively supportive when hubby tells her what he’s done. Cage is fine – he bulges his eyes early on as a treat for the fans – and director Roger Donaldson ensures it all passes by smoothly but it should have been more than a generous six.
This movie contains sexual swear words and strong violence, gory and unpleasant scenes and sex scene.
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Sucker Punch (2011) – 6/10 fantasy action escape movie review
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Sucker Punch (2011) After being blamed for the death of her sister, Babydoll is sent to an asylum where, in five days time, she will be lobotomised. She quickly formulates the ingredients of an escape plan but doesn’t yet realise that leaving the premises isn’t the only possible release. 6/10
I suspect a second viewing may allow your mind to look past the visual candy and formulate theorums as to what this is all about but Sucker Punch‘s downfall is it’s ostentatious failure to deliver a sucker punch (unless failing to deliver a sucker punch was the sucker punch). The idea appears to have been that we would have been so distracted by the movie’s male-fantasy pretty-woman action sequences (as the brothel cast are by Babydoll’s dancing) that we would be completely unprepared for the sucker punch. But the sucker punch never hits and I’m not even sure it was thrown. The theatrical version is a tighter film but the extended cut makes it’s misandrist message clearer, has a High Roller climax that makes thematic sense and is the preferred version story-wise.
This movie contains mild swear words, bad language and graphic fantasy violence, sexual violence and sensuality.
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Looper (2012) – 8/10 time-travel thriller movie review
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Cast / crew |
Looper (2012) Thirty years from now, time-travel will be invented and immediately outlawed. Thanks to the difficulty of disposing of bodies in the future, time-travel becomes the exclusive domain of criminal organisations who send targets back in time to be shot on arrival by loopers. Eventually, all loopers know that they must close the loop, that is, their last target will be themselves, sent back from thirty years in the future. When Joe is to close his loop, a momentary hesitation allows his older self to escape and embark on a mission to change the past. 8/10
If it had a bit more style and swagger this character-led time-travel action movie could have been an out-and-out classic. As it is, what’s there is jolly good with an excellent character arc. A selfish assassin is confronted with opportunities to be less selfish. Bruce never takes them (even though it looks like he has thanks to his late-life love, his character is ‘I want, I want’ all the time, even then, and consistently does anything to get what he wants), Joe does gradually and eventually. The movie stumbles when it hits the unavoidable paradox moment all time-travel stories have (when Joe doesn’t shoot Bruce, then does, then doesn’t again; what is happening is we are switching protagonists for a while, but not actors or, exactly, characters) but, despite the confusion, we soon get back into the plot. There are a lot of great moments (a door set high in a wall seemingly just for one joke banging a goon’s head; the brilliantly, horrifically gruesome fate of an escaped looper conveyed without gore or violence; ‘You know there’s another waitress who works weekends. Her name’s Jen.’; scurrying into a safe during a tantrum; a mother diving to save Joe not her son; Emily Blunt remembering she’s got a penis outside), the story is strong, Pierce Gagnon (the child) is fully evil, Bruce’s targets are unexpectedly killed and he probably doubles his movie bodycount in just one year with this and The Expendables 2.
This movie contains sexual swear words, adult dialogue and fictional substance abuse and strong, graphic violence, gory and unpleasant scenes and sexuality, nudity.
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