World Trade Center (2006) – 3/10

Director: Oliver Stone
Writer Based on the True Life Events of John & Donna McLoughlin and William & Allison Jimeno: Andrea Berloff
Nicolas Cage: John McLoughlin
Michael Peña: Will Jimino
Maggie Gyllenhaal: Allison Jimeno
Maria Bello: Donna McLoughlin
Stephen Dorff: Scott Strauss
Jay Hernandez: Dominick Pezzulo
Michael Shannon: Dave Karnes
Donna Murphy:
Frank Whaley: Chuck Sereika

World Trade Center (2006)

Two New York Port Authority policemen are trapped alive beneath the fallen World Trade Center.

3/10

Intrusive and clumsy feeling disaster epic. Despite being based on testimony and created with the input of those involved, it’s remarkably unconvincing aswell. Amazingly, not even Maria Bello’s eyes are convincing. There’s even a scene where three Americans don’t have a single mobile phone between them. Now make sure you go and watch United 93.

This movie contains sexual swear word and extended peril and mild sexuality.

Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Available on DVD.

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Mulan 2 (2004, Movie) – 3/10

Director: Darrell Rooney
Director: Lynne Southerland
Writer (Screenplay): Michael Lucker
Writer (Screenplay): Chris Parker
Writer (Screenplay): Roger S.H. Schulman
Ming-Na Wen: Mulan
B.D. Wong: Shang
Mark Moseley: Mushu
Composer (Lyrics) Original Songs: Alexa Junge
Music Composer Original Songs: Jeanine Tesori

Mulan 2 (2004)

Mulan and Shang have decided to marry but a mission to escort three princesses to conclude a marriage alliance with a neighbouring country that will guarantee peace and security may provoke tension that will drive a wedge between them. That and the malevolent scheming of Mushu who doesn’t want to lose his ancestral pedestal.

3/10

Despite decent new songs (though there’s only two), Mulan 2 degenerates from blandly competent to deliver a toe-curlingly negative and typically American movie message. The film’s moral is “your duty is to your heart” which is a pretty way of saying ‘be selfish.’ Therefore, every character in the movie thinks only of themselves and that, sadly commonplace, attitude is not something we should be passing on to our progeny. Mark Moseley provides a remarkable Eddie Murphy impersonation but gets nothing fun, funny or positive to say throughout the entire film. This sequel is, as with many Disney home video premiere’s, an offensive insult to the original movie.

This movie contains violence.

Classified U by BBFC. Universal: Suitable for All.

D-War (aka Dragon Wars) (2005, Movie) – 3/10

D-War

Dragon Wars (2005)

Every 500 years, er, a pair of super-giant snakes – one good, one evil – get the opportunity to consume the spirit of a 20-year-old woman who had been born with the tattoo of a dragon on her right shoulder. This allows the snake to become a dragon and become as powerful as, well, a super-giant snake probably.

3/10

Eye-brow-raisingly awful fantasy monster movie (the most expensive in Korean film history) with strong visual effects. The story and script, perhaps impressively, never cease to take the breath away with their incompetence; writer / director Hyung Rae-Shim never manages a single not-terrible line, even accidentally. There is also a notable lack of dragon wars in the movie with a climactic fight between a dragon and a snake proving to be the only appearance of a dragon. That said, the effects are good, the action editing is quite effective and I got a surprising kick out of seeing a Chinese-style dragon in CG, something I’ve never seen in any other movie.

This movie contains fantasy monster violence against each other and against humans.

Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

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Be Cool (2005, Movie) – 3/10

Be Cool (2005)

A disillusioned Chili Palmer decides its time to get out of the movie business and decides to try his hand at the music business.

3/10

F. Gary Gray brings his total lack of style and absolutely no understanding of comedy to this entirely worthless sequel to the better-than-expected Get Shorty. He also manages to waste an impressive cast who, Vince Vaughn aside, do good work, especially Uma Thurman and Dwayne Johnson (when is someone going to give him a good movie?).

This movie contains a single sexual swear word, mild swear words, frequent mild swear words in song lyrics, adult dialogue, abusive dialogue and extreme baseball bat violence, graphic violence, unpleasant scene of man set on fire and sensuality.

Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult..