Prometheus (2012) – 5/10 science fiction horror movie review

Cast / crew
Director and Producer: Ridley Scott
Noomi Rapace: Elizabeth Shaw
Michael Fassbender: David
Guy Pearce: Peter Weyland
Idris Elba: Janek
Logan Marshall-Green: Charlie Holloway
Charlize Theron: Meredith Vickers
Writer and Executive Producer: Damon Lindelof
Producer: David Giler
Producer: Walter Hill
Writer: Jon Spaihts
Original Design Elements: H.R. Giger

Prometheus (2012)

2093: Scientific Exploratory Vessel Prometheus arrives at planet LV 223 following clues found in the writings of ancient civilisations picturing giant beings pointing to a universally unique constellation. They, luckily, fly over a deserted installation and stop to investigate. They’ll probably wish they hadn’t.

5/10

Disappointing science-fiction horror made by intelligent people producing stupid work about intelligent people doing endlessly stupid things. Yeah, it looks great, is technically proficient, skilfully showcases another world and features some good horror scenes but everything that occurs is the stupidest thing that could possibly have occurred. If the characters had pulled out custard pies and starting hurling them at each other, the film would have been at a higher intellectual level. And yet there is interesting stuff in here; fascinating and worthwhile questions. What if you met your creator and they disappointed you? What if a creator’s work disappointed you? Does a creator have the right to destroy his creation? Does a woman have the right to abort a life inside her? Was that really Guy Pearce under that awful old age make-up? Why was it Guy Pearce? Why on earth was it Guy Pearce?

This movie contains graphic violence, gory and extremely unpleasant scenes and sexuality.

Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

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Robin Hood (2010, Medieval Action Adventure Drama) – 6/10 movie review

Cast / crew
Director: Ridley Scott
Writer (Screenplay): Brian Helgeland
Writer (Story): Brian Helgeland
Writer (Story): Ethan Reiff
Writer (Story): Cyrus Voris
Producer: Brian Grazer
Producer: Ridley Scott
Producer: Russell Crowe
Russell Crowe: Robin Longstride
Cate Blanchett: Marion Loxley
William Hurt: William Marshal
Mark Strong: Godfrey
Mark Addy: Friar Tuck
Oscar Isaac: Prince John
Danny Huston: King Richard the Lionheart
Kevin Durand: Little John
Scott Grimes: Will Scarlet
Matthew Macfadyen: Sheriff of Nottingham
Eileen Atkins: Eleanor of Aquitaine
Simon McBurney: Father Tancred
Max von Sydow: Sir Walter Loxley

Robin Hood (2010)

A lowly archer finds circumstances thrust him into a critical position in defending England from a French invasion… and the selfishness of its own king.

6/10

While it’s more interesting than expected, it’s not terribly convincing: A self-confessed “lowly archer” leads a cavalry charge in battle and issues tactics; he conveniently has a father he knew nothing about who had masterminded a new constitution guaranteeing liberty for citizens; the French army uses World War II landing barges (though anachronistic that was, at least, cool). But this is very nearly a Gladiator with mud. It has a similar intriguing mix of politics, action, military tactics and the inspiration of a courageous man who stands up to those misusing their authority and it’s Ridley Scott’s best film since Matchstick Men seven years ago.

This movie contains adult dialogue and violence, inferred sexual violence, animated extreme and gory violence during closing credits (!) and sex scene, nudity.

Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Gladiator (2000) – 9/10 classic Roman epic action drama movie review

Cast / crew
Director: Ridley Scott
Writer (Screenplay): David Franzoni
Writer (Screenplay): John Logan
Writer (Screenplay): William Nicholson
Writer (Story): David Franzoni
Producer: Douglas Wick
Producer: David Franzoni
Producer: Branko Lustig
Russell Crowe: Maximus
Joaquin Phoenix: Commodus
Connie Nielsen: Lucilla
Oliver Reed: Proximo
Derek Jacobi: Gracchus
Djimon Hounsou: Juba
Richard Harris: Marcus Aurelius

Gladiator (2000)

Escaping the fate that befalls his wife and son as ordered by newly appointed power-crazed emperor Commodus, noble general Maximus finds himself sold into slavery and, therefore, into the gladiatorial arena. He soon becomes a legendary warrior in the arena and, when the emperor calls his best gladiators to the Coliseum in Rome as a political popularity stunt, a date with destiny is inevitable.

9/10

A great film by a great film-maker. Not deep, not meaningful, just great. As Russell Crowe exclaims: “Are you not entertained? Isn’t this what you want?” Yes. He’s terrific in his breakout superstar role as is Joaquin Phoenix, Ridley puts it together beautifully and it looks amazing, the writing has a feeling of intelligence behind it and Hans Zimmer’s wonderful score changed the way epics sound.

This movie contains graphic and extreme violence and mild sensuality.

Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Body of Lies (2008) – 5/10 comedy beard Middle East espionage thriller movie review

Cast / crew
Director: Ridley Scott
Writer (Screenplay): William Monahan
Producer: Ridley Scott
Producer: Donald de Line
Writer (Original Novel): David Ignatius
Leonardo Di Caprio: Roger Ferris
Russell Crowe: Ed Hoffman
Mark Strong: Hani
Golshifteh Farahani: Aisha
Oscar Isaac: Bassam
Alon Aboutboul: Al-Saleem
Simon McBurney: Garland

Body of Lies (2008)

CIA operative Roger Ferris is working in the Middle East under the direction of Ed Hoffman but finds his job complicated by Hoffman’s side operations, Hoffman disrupting delicate local espionage etiquette and his own ridiculous beard.

5/10

Adequate espionage thriller that doesn’t quite hold the attention. The story contains an interesting but paradoxical and, therefore, completely unsuccessful CIA plan to capture an international terrorist by setting up an unknowing architect as a terrorist to blow up an American target and hope that the real contacts the fake. The fake who doesn’t know anything about it. Right. That said, there have apparently been similarly idiotic espionage plans established on an insane blend of optimism and delusion but the movie plot never comes across as such or as a good idea. Looking at our stars they both are good. Crowe seems effortlessly charismatic despite nattering into a hands-free kit for most of the movie and Leonardo Di Caprio confirms the theory that perhaps the truest indicator of an actor’s greatness is how stupid a beard (or haircut) he can carry off. After a knee-jerk reaction to first clearly seeing his comedy chin furniture (about eight minutes in, brace yourself), with the next scene he pulls you back into the character and film.

This movie contains sexual swear words and strong violence, gory graphic gun violence, gory and extremely unpleasant scenes.

Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.