Smallville Season Finale 8.22 Doomsday (2009, TV) – 1/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Alaina Huffman: Dinah "Black Canary" Lance
Kyle Gallner: Bart "Impulse" Allen
Ari Cohen: Regan
Ryan Kennedy: Rokk
Executive Producer: James Marshall
Writer: Kelly Souders
Writer: Brian Peterson
Director: James Marshall

Smallville 8.22 Doomsday (2009)

Wanting to prove that the events of the previous months weren’t the stupidest, rubbishest things that could possibly happen, plans are made to ensure that every fan of Smallville everywhere will want to kill themselves.

1/10

This is an entirely remarkable episode. The writers have just thrown all the scripts for this series into the air and randomly pulled pages from the resulting pile. Continuity and character, sadly, weren’t salvaged. Smallville has been betrayed and horribly mutilated by those entrusted with its care and this episode is just horrific, it’s professionally incompetent. If it was a car, inserting the key into the ignition would castrate you and then mock you for trying to start it in the first place. And for having no bits. John Matta, Chief Operating Officer of The CW Television Network, also announced his intention to run for the title of the world’s stupidest person by allowing a ninth series. Though, to be fair, it’ll probably be revealed he’s actually working as a double-agent for a rival television network. “The name’s Matta, J…, er, I’ve forgotten my first name.”

This Smallville episode contains mild swear words and extreme fantasy violence, strong graphic violence, gory and extremely unpleasant scenes.

Links

Smallville 8.21 Injustice (2009, TV) – 2/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Jessica Parker Kennedy: Plastique
Alessandro Juliani: Dr. Emil Hamilton
Brendan Fletcher: Parasite
Producer: Al Septien
Producer: Turi Meyer
Writer: Al Septien
Writer: Turi Meyer
Director: Tom Welling

Smallville 8.21 Injustice (2009)

Clark hears Chloe crying out for help on the run from Davis Bloome. After he rescues her, he reveals he has come up with a plan to save Earth.

2/10

Even though Justin Hartley gets his abs out and there is no Aaron Ashmore or Sam Witwer, this is bor-or-ing. The scripting is also terrible. No-one seems to have any clue what any other character is saying and so just speak random non-sensical lines to each other. Clark is suffering particularly badly from this as he is being terribly inconsistent. He goes to all this trouble just to fill up forty minutes of screen time, er, I mean, separate Davis Bloome from Doomsday but won’t take two seconds to put across his point of view or explain why he’s being a tool to Oliver Queen. Or Chloe. Or Tess. Or the audience.

This Smallville episode contains adult dialogue and extremely gory and unpleasant scenes.

Links

Smallville 8.18 Eternal (2009, TV) – 2/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Executive Producer: James Marshall
Writer: Brian Peterson
Writer: Kelly Souders
Director: James Marshall

Smallville 8.18 Eternal (2009)

Clark is a little put-out when Tess Mercer pooh-pooh’s his story about a previously unknown serial killer. He doesn’t know it is Davis Bloome but, thanks to a journal she nicked from the Lionel Luthor estate, Tess Mercer does and knows he’ll be impossible to kill. So she blows Davis up just to check. Fortunately, the police don’t care. Nor do the writers. Nor do we.

2/10

While the addition of Davis Bloome into the last seven series of Smallville ends up being better integrated than expected it still doesn’t mitigate the absolute insult to the audience. To be fair, it ends up making you wonder whether this was always intended to be the Smallville end-game. However, we simply don’t care. This week’s story is about the conflict inside Davis Bloome but we don’t care, partially because he has a face like a bag of walnuts. Every so often, the writers remember that Clark is on this ‘talk people around’ initiative but it’s so half-hearted and never amounts to anything except Clark going "No!", that we really don’t care. When Lois isn’t around, Smallville isn’t fun or interesting. The production team simply has no more to give. They need a break. We need a break. Stop Smallville, please.

Links

Smallville 8.16 Turbulence (2009, TV) – 1/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Writer: Turi Meyer
Writer: Al Septien
Director: Kevin G. Fair

Smallville 8.16 Turbulence (2009)

Jimmy Olsen gets an episode and sees Davis Bloome murder someone. Not a Smallville writer, unfortunately.

1/10

It is clear that nobody on Smallville – the cast, the writers (Clark gets Tess drunk!), the director (this is very slackly paced, not a usual problem on the show) – can be bothered with the show anymore. Those of us who are sticking with it are only doing so out of a sense of misguided loyalty and that we really want to see, after all the misery and violence and stupidity we’ve been subjected to (seasons 4,5, 7 and 8), some kind of happy, or at least hopeful, climax to let Clark Kent go off into the sunset and future super-deeds. However, writers without ideas cannot think positively and American shows are required by law to be ‘dark’ and ‘edgy’. So, there won’t be a happy ending and while the ‘creative’ forces tread water Smallville will continue to embarrass everyone involved with it.

This Smallville episode contains bad language and substance abuse (prescribed medication and alcohol) and strong, gory violence, unpleasant scenes.

Links

Smallville 8.13 Power (2009, TV) – 2/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Bill Mondy: Dr. Grohl
Ted Whittall: Carter Bowfry
Ari Cohen: Regan
Writer: Todd Slavkin
Writer: Darren Swimmer
Director: Allison Mack

Smallville 8.13 Power (2009)

When Lana disappears, Clark discovers more about what she has been doing before she reappeared at Chloe’s wedding but won’t be prepared for sheer hare-brained-ness of her machinations.

2/10

Now Smallville has had some eyebrow-raising plots in its time but this is a doozy even by their audience-insulting standards. There’s a saying that ‘if everyone’s special, no-one’s special’ and that applies in spades to Smallville. The writers have consistently tested the patience of their audience by supplying an endless roster of beings with super-powers but this new development, while consistent in the show, is just depressing. Kristin Kreuk has lost whatever charm and chemistry she had in the first few seasons and Tom Welling is definitely just going through the motions. This episode was directed by Allison Mack who plays Chloe and she does nothing to disguise the stupendous ridiculousness of the plot. Also, I’d just like to point out that when I go and visit a friend, I still knock on the door and wait for an answer; I don’t just walk straight in.

This Smallville episode contains extreme violence and sensuality.

Links

Smallville 8.12 Bulletproof (2009, TV) – 7/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Phil Morris: John Jones
David Paetkau: Danny Turpin
Byron Lawson: Terrence
Jim Thorburn: Joe Simmons
Ty Olsson: Talbert
Writer: Bryan Q. Miller
Director: Morgan Beggs

Smallville 8.12 Bulletproof (2009)

John Jones gets himself shot by a sniper and, suspecting an inside job and with Chloe’s help, Clark goes undercover as a policeman. Meanwhile, Lana is about to open Tess’s eyes regarding Lex Luthor and his true nature.

7/10

This is a good episode with an impressively impossible (but entertaining) revelation for Cassidy Freeman’s Tess Mercer and an interesting and worthwhile attempt, by Tom Welling’s Clark Kent, to rescue people through moral readjustment rather than hurling people through doors and windows. Kristin Kreuk gets in some practice for her upcoming Chun-Li Streetfighter movie by having a fight scene with Cassidy Freeman and they do the hurling people through doors and windows thing this week. The writers hope you’ve forgotten about the birth of Doomsday last week but I, for one, am not looking forward to his return. The writers also probably hope that you don’t notice that the reason for Jones’ shooting is that he works on his own which seems a bit slim as a motive for rmurder. I mean, if he’d spilt their milk or written ‘Danny is gay’ on the toilet wall or something, well, then I’d understand but ‘that guy spends too much time working alone’ ‘yeah, he deserves to die’? Hmmm.

This Smallville episode contains extreme melee violence.

Links

Smallville 8.09 Abyss (2008, TV) – 2/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Terence Stamp: The Voice of Jor-El
Writer: Don Whitehead
Writer: Holly Henderson
Director: Kevin G. Fair

Smallville 8.09 Abyss (2008)

Chloe realises that Brainiac is starting to have a negative effect on her (the murder she committed a couple of weeks ago was apparently fine) when she loses great chunks of her memory including fiancée Jimmy. With Clark being one of her oldest friends, he’ll be one of the last things she’ll forget but he has a plan that can restore her memory. A slightly, as it turns out, cunning plan.

2/10

This is another weak episode and it’s not coincidence that it is again concentrating on the overarching story. The memory loss effects are well done and it’s great to see the awesome car-catching that revealed Clark’s secret again but Allison Mack is clearly embarrassed by the plot and dialogue. Welling also is largely just remembering his lines and isn’t giving it his all. This is a series changing episode but it’s not well done and not convincing. It’s a shame as this is the biggest change in the Smallville universe this season. However, Clark’s choice and decision is an interesting and poignant one and, presumably, closes the Brainiac Chloe storyline. In the ewww stakes, lumpy-faced gonna-be big-bad Sam Witwer really starts hitting on Chloe. A strong stomach is required. And I have always hated Terence Stamp as Jor-El. Hate, hate, hate. *stamps feet petulantly* He also supplies the epilogue hook regarding the impending reveal of Doomsday so expect a, hopefully brief, return to Smallville’s horrific über-violence in an episode soon.

This Smallville episode contains unpleasant scenes.

Links