Smallville Season Finale 8.22 Doomsday (2009, TV) – 1/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Alaina Huffman: Dinah "Black Canary" Lance
Kyle Gallner: Bart "Impulse" Allen
Ari Cohen: Regan
Ryan Kennedy: Rokk
Executive Producer: James Marshall
Writer: Kelly Souders
Writer: Brian Peterson
Director: James Marshall

Smallville 8.22 Doomsday (2009)

Wanting to prove that the events of the previous months weren’t the stupidest, rubbishest things that could possibly happen, plans are made to ensure that every fan of Smallville everywhere will want to kill themselves.

1/10

This is an entirely remarkable episode. The writers have just thrown all the scripts for this series into the air and randomly pulled pages from the resulting pile. Continuity and character, sadly, weren’t salvaged. Smallville has been betrayed and horribly mutilated by those entrusted with its care and this episode is just horrific, it’s professionally incompetent. If it was a car, inserting the key into the ignition would castrate you and then mock you for trying to start it in the first place. And for having no bits. John Matta, Chief Operating Officer of The CW Television Network, also announced his intention to run for the title of the world’s stupidest person by allowing a ninth series. Though, to be fair, it’ll probably be revealed he’s actually working as a double-agent for a rival television network. “The name’s Matta, J…, er, I’ve forgotten my first name.”

This Smallville episode contains mild swear words and extreme fantasy violence, strong graphic violence, gory and extremely unpleasant scenes.

Links

Smallville 8.19 Stiletto (2009, TV) – 2/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Dominic Zamprogna: Bruno Manheim
Writer: Caroline Dries
Director: Kevin G. Fair

Smallville 8.19 Stiletto (2009)

After saving Chloe from a mugger, Lois spies a chance to get closer to a story with the Red-Blue Blur by, obviously, posing as new superhero vigilante Stiletto.

2/10

This has the cheesy feeling of the 1960’s Batman television show without, unfortunately, the sense of self-knowing glee that Adam West et al brought to that particular endeavour. The central idea of Lois going after a story in an unorthodox and dangerous manner was okay but, as usual for Smallville now, it was handled clumsily and lazily. The writers, director and actors are all on auto-pilot and even Erica Durance – the best thing about Smallville this season, surprisingly – has a permanent let’s-get-this-over-with look about her. There’s a bit of Lois-Clark magic at the end of the show but in almost every way Smallville is embarrassing to watch.

This Smallville episode contains strong melee violence, graphic gun violence.

Links

Smallville 8.17 Hex (2009, TV) – 5/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Serinda Swan: Zatanna
Writer: Bryan Q. Miller
Director: Mairzee Almas

Smallville 8.17 Hex (2009)

Feeling miserable at her own birthday party thanks to her recent break-up with Jimmy, Lois and Oliver having to leave prematurely and Clark not even showing up, Chloe makes a birthday wish at the behest of mega-babe magician Zatanna. However, she is staggered when her desire to swap for the journalistic life of Lois comes true.

5/10

Given that this is another of Smallville‘s possession storylines, it’s absolutely not as bad as feared. I was expecting the last straw but, thanks to a reliance on character and a, frankly, smoking hot magician’s outfit for Serinda Swan (and her Zatanna not being a baddie), it is entertaining enough. As usual for this season, it never makes the most of the setup and never involves you emotionally. The regular cast outside of Erica Durance feel like they’re just reading their lines. This lack of heartfelt performance is a shame as some of the script this week is better than for a while. There’s no Jimmy, no Doomsday, no Davis Bloome, no Tess Mercer and no violence. The story is fine and, as a bonus, the mechanism for undoing the wishes and restoring Smaillville‘s status quo is, unusually, refreshingly simple and entirely acceptable (when you don’t wish it anymore, it isn’t so).

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Smallville 8.10 Bride (2008, TV) – 5/10

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Writer: Al Septien
Writer: Turi Meyer
Director: Jeannot Szwarc

Smallville 8.10 Bride (2008)

It’s Chloe and Jimmy’s big day but it’s violently and rudely interrupted by… a large man in a monster suit. Or the terrifying murderlising Davis Bloome’s alter-ego, if you insist.

5/10

What is it about the Lois / Clark dynamic that has worked so well across the written, the drawn, television and movies? I don’t know but it’s working its magic again and Erica Durance continues her good run of form by making doe eyes at Clark. Elsewhere Smallville delivers a typically unconvincing plot even boasting wifi tech that works without electricity, a depressing Special Guest Star slot for Kristin Kreuk (bizarrely, she has absolutely no chemistry with Tom Welling anymore and her character has no charm) and, most disappointing, a really obvious man-in-a-suit for the horror climax. Nevertheless, praise must be delivered for Smallville not delivering images of people being ripped into pieces or scooping various internal organs back in or any other of the possible super-graphic super-violence the show delivered over the last few seasons.

This Smallville episode contains inferred extreme violence, unpleasant and extremely gory scenes.

Links

Smallville 8.09 Abyss (2008, TV) – 2/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Terence Stamp: The Voice of Jor-El
Writer: Don Whitehead
Writer: Holly Henderson
Director: Kevin G. Fair

Smallville 8.09 Abyss (2008)

Chloe realises that Brainiac is starting to have a negative effect on her (the murder she committed a couple of weeks ago was apparently fine) when she loses great chunks of her memory including fiancée Jimmy. With Clark being one of her oldest friends, he’ll be one of the last things she’ll forget but he has a plan that can restore her memory. A slightly, as it turns out, cunning plan.

2/10

This is another weak episode and it’s not coincidence that it is again concentrating on the overarching story. The memory loss effects are well done and it’s great to see the awesome car-catching that revealed Clark’s secret again but Allison Mack is clearly embarrassed by the plot and dialogue. Welling also is largely just remembering his lines and isn’t giving it his all. This is a series changing episode but it’s not well done and not convincing. It’s a shame as this is the biggest change in the Smallville universe this season. However, Clark’s choice and decision is an interesting and poignant one and, presumably, closes the Brainiac Chloe storyline. In the ewww stakes, lumpy-faced gonna-be big-bad Sam Witwer really starts hitting on Chloe. A strong stomach is required. And I have always hated Terence Stamp as Jor-El. Hate, hate, hate. *stamps feet petulantly* He also supplies the epilogue hook regarding the impending reveal of Doomsday so expect a, hopefully brief, return to Smallville’s horrific über-violence in an episode soon.

This Smallville episode contains unpleasant scenes.

Links

Smallville 8.08 Bloodline (2008, TV) – 1/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Laura Vandervoort: Kara
Writer: Caroline Dries
Director: Michael Rohl

Smallville 8.08 Bloodline (2008)

Clark is sent the blue Kryptonite crystal and, being a bit of a super-genius, picks it up presuming that nothing bad will happen this time. Ah.

1/10

All the actors know that this is an awful episode and it comes across in their peforiamcens especially Welling who looks irritated and disinterested. It starts with Kara not recognising Clark or Lois and continues all previous comments regarding The Phantom Zone being summarily dismissed (there is another secret exit built by Zor’el and, in any case, Brainiac Chloe can just pull people out of it as she pleases). Chloe’s character is nearly unwatchable. However, continuing her good run Erica Durance is good again and now that Oliver Green has emerged from his drunken party-boy stupor Justin Hartley’s moments are strong. Also, depressingly, there are no lasting effects of anything despite Lois driving a pole through Sam Witwer and taking out a wall and a fire truck at Metropolis Hospital. After a few good solid episodes, Smallville returns to the overarching story and falls flat on its face.

This Smallville episode contains extreme fantasy violence, very gory and unpleasant scenes.

Links

Smallville 6.07 Identity (2008, TV) – 6/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kyle Schmid: Sebastian Kane
Writer: Todd Slavkin
Writer: Darren Swimmer
Director: Mairzee Almas

Smallville 8.07 Identity (2008)

Clark’s efforts to keep his night-time activities a secret hit, at super-speed naturally, a big speed bump when Jimmy Olsen manages to snap a picture of him in the process of rescuing Lois. Meanwhile, there’s a memory-reading meteor freak-of-the-week in the area and he’s looking for the crystal that was taken from Tess.

6/10

After last week’s clunker, Smallville delivers a decent solid episode with a couple of great hooks including the pre-title sequence where Jimmy takes a snap of Clark doing his thing and the climax involving Chloe. I think it a mistake to reference Iraq but it’s what American television writers do when they want to make a journalist sound serious and responsible. On a better note, it was nice to see a flip side to season six episode Hydro (the one where Clark pretended to be Green Arrow) and that it results in Oliver Queen finally crawling out of his bottle.

This Smallville episode contains strong violence.

Links