Smallville 8.14 Requiem (2009, TV) – 3/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Chris Gauthier: Winslow Scott
Writer: Holly Henderson
Writer: Don Whitehead
Director: Michael Rohl

Smallville 8.14 Requiem (2009)

Oliver Queen reveals a previously unsuspected bomb-proof-ness when he is the only survivor of a blast at a LuthorCorp board meeting where he was announcing his hostile takeover. He knows who the bomber probably is but strongly suspects that Lex is behind the attack and uses the bomber to lead him to Lex so that he can kill him. Meanwhile, Clark and Lana enjoy some super-sex (dang, another bed broken) but Lex has plans for them also.

3/10

Chloe shocks us to our very core by knocking on Clark’s door before walking in immediately anyway. It’s not like Clark and Lana were in the middle of super-sex. Oh. Anyway, the reason for last week’s eye-bulging Super Lana storyline is partially justified this week with a meaty moral dilemma. However, so broken is the chemistry between Kristin Kreuk and Tom Welling and so mechanical their performances (you can actually see him thinking about which eyebrow to move) that we simply couldn’t care less about the moral dilemma and subsequent drama for these two characters. The Michael Rosenbaum look-alike and sound-alike (two different actors) are very close but I can’t remember why Lex is in the state he is. Aside from the writers having to remove Lex from all active plot duty.

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Smallville 8.13 Power (2009, TV) – 2/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Bill Mondy: Dr. Grohl
Ted Whittall: Carter Bowfry
Ari Cohen: Regan
Writer: Todd Slavkin
Writer: Darren Swimmer
Director: Allison Mack

Smallville 8.13 Power (2009)

When Lana disappears, Clark discovers more about what she has been doing before she reappeared at Chloe’s wedding but won’t be prepared for sheer hare-brained-ness of her machinations.

2/10

Now Smallville has had some eyebrow-raising plots in its time but this is a doozy even by their audience-insulting standards. There’s a saying that ‘if everyone’s special, no-one’s special’ and that applies in spades to Smallville. The writers have consistently tested the patience of their audience by supplying an endless roster of beings with super-powers but this new development, while consistent in the show, is just depressing. Kristin Kreuk has lost whatever charm and chemistry she had in the first few seasons and Tom Welling is definitely just going through the motions. This episode was directed by Allison Mack who plays Chloe and she does nothing to disguise the stupendous ridiculousness of the plot. Also, I’d just like to point out that when I go and visit a friend, I still knock on the door and wait for an answer; I don’t just walk straight in.

This Smallville episode contains extreme violence and sensuality.

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Smallville 8.12 Bulletproof (2009, TV) – 7/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Phil Morris: John Jones
David Paetkau: Danny Turpin
Byron Lawson: Terrence
Jim Thorburn: Joe Simmons
Ty Olsson: Talbert
Writer: Bryan Q. Miller
Director: Morgan Beggs

Smallville 8.12 Bulletproof (2009)

John Jones gets himself shot by a sniper and, suspecting an inside job and with Chloe’s help, Clark goes undercover as a policeman. Meanwhile, Lana is about to open Tess’s eyes regarding Lex Luthor and his true nature.

7/10

This is a good episode with an impressively impossible (but entertaining) revelation for Cassidy Freeman’s Tess Mercer and an interesting and worthwhile attempt, by Tom Welling’s Clark Kent, to rescue people through moral readjustment rather than hurling people through doors and windows. Kristin Kreuk gets in some practice for her upcoming Chun-Li Streetfighter movie by having a fight scene with Cassidy Freeman and they do the hurling people through doors and windows thing this week. The writers hope you’ve forgotten about the birth of Doomsday last week but I, for one, am not looking forward to his return. The writers also probably hope that you don’t notice that the reason for Jones’ shooting is that he works on his own which seems a bit slim as a motive for rmurder. I mean, if he’d spilt their milk or written ‘Danny is gay’ on the toilet wall or something, well, then I’d understand but ‘that guy spends too much time working alone’ ‘yeah, he deserves to die’? Hmmm.

This Smallville episode contains extreme melee violence.

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Smallville 8.11 Legion (2009, TV) – 5/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Ryan Kennedy: Rokk
Alexz Johnson: Imra
Calum Worthy: Garth
Writer: Geoff Johns
Director: Glen Winter

Smallville 8.11 Legion (2009)

With Chloe consumed by Brainiac and now incubating Davis into Doomsday permanently, Clark is distracted from his initial by a huge dude materialising in the barn and nearly chopping him in half with an axe.

5/10

This an episode packed with new characters (this episode only) and interesting elements but doesn’t quite come together. It’s heart is definitely in the right place, though, and that makes it worthwhile. Unfortunately, Tom Welling isn’t very good here. He appears half-hearted, is laden with clunky dialogue and looks like he’ll be glad when it’s over. It’s a shame as he’s been so good for so long and his lacklustre performances this season may override the memory of his earlier good work. The episode brings up the thoughts of Cal-el’s principles and the reality of meeting a legend you only knew through history books and both are interesting but their potential is not realised.

This Smallville episode contains extreme and graphic fantasy violence, gory and unpleasant.

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Smallville 8.10 Bride (2008, TV) – 5/10

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Writer: Al Septien
Writer: Turi Meyer
Director: Jeannot Szwarc

Smallville 8.10 Bride (2008)

It’s Chloe and Jimmy’s big day but it’s violently and rudely interrupted by… a large man in a monster suit. Or the terrifying murderlising Davis Bloome’s alter-ego, if you insist.

5/10

What is it about the Lois / Clark dynamic that has worked so well across the written, the drawn, television and movies? I don’t know but it’s working its magic again and Erica Durance continues her good run of form by making doe eyes at Clark. Elsewhere Smallville delivers a typically unconvincing plot even boasting wifi tech that works without electricity, a depressing Special Guest Star slot for Kristin Kreuk (bizarrely, she has absolutely no chemistry with Tom Welling anymore and her character has no charm) and, most disappointing, a really obvious man-in-a-suit for the horror climax. Nevertheless, praise must be delivered for Smallville not delivering images of people being ripped into pieces or scooping various internal organs back in or any other of the possible super-graphic super-violence the show delivered over the last few seasons.

This Smallville episode contains inferred extreme violence, unpleasant and extremely gory scenes.

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Smallville 7.20 Arctic (2007, TV) – 2/10

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Michael Rosenbaum: Lex Luthor
Kristin Kreuk: Lana Lang
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Laura Vandervoort: Kara
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
James Marsters: Brainiac
Robert Picardo: Edward Teague
Ari Cohen:
Writer: Don Whitehead
Writer: Holly Henderson
Director: Todd Slavkin

Smallville 7.20 Arctic (2007)

Edward Teague runs to South America after his run-in with Clark and Lex but Kara intercepts his flight, extracts the location of the device that controls The Traveler… and kills him. Clark tries to convince her that she has changed since travelling back to Krypton but she flies off and starts to assist Lex and the device.

2/10

This has been an awful season, largely dull, largely incompetently written and, again, sometimes astonishingly violent and horrible. Appropriately, this is an awful episode to close things out. I had already called the Kara plot twist but it didn’t stop it being lazily resolved. Lex finally steps foot in the Fortress of Solitude and while the events are predictably monumental, it’s delivered without impact or, bizarrely, crescendo. The scenes between Lex and Clark have always been the crux of Smallville and that dynamic has been lost this season. Considering we’ve waited seven years for these scenes, it’s a big disappointment. What’s even more disappointing is our knowledge of how Smallville consistently treats its season cliffhangers and so we can be sure that these events will be given short change in the first one or two episodes next season. I’m not sure if I’ll bother watching.

This Smallville episode contains extremely unpleasant scenes, extreme violence, extreme fantasy violence, extremely dangerous imitable behaviour.

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