Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009, Movie) – 4/10 review

Cast / crew
Director: Michael Bay
Writer: Ehren Kruger
Writer: Roberto Orci
Writer: Alex Kurtzman
Producer: Lorenzo di Bonaventura
Producer: Tom DeSanto
Producer: Don Murphy
Producer: Ian Bryce
Executive Producer: Steven Spielberg
Executive Producer: Michael Bay
Shia LaBeouf: Sam Witwicky
Megan Fox: Mikaela Bane
Josh Duhamel: Major Lennox
Tyrese Gibson: USAF Master Sergeant Epps
Kevin Dunn: Ron Witwicky
Julie White: Judy Witwicky
John Turturro: Simmons
Peter Cullen: Optimus Prime
Hugo Weaving: Megatron
Tony Todd: Fallen

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Since the incident in Los Angeles, Optimus Prime and the Autobots have been protecting Earth from the Decepticons while Sam prepares to go to college. A shard of the Allspark, however, is discovered and Sam’s life is about to turn upside-down again.

4/10

If the first was a glorious mess, then this boring, fun-free sequel is just a mess. This is very much an idea-free zone with no clear plot, no clear character arcs and endless, meaningless, interchangeable action with apparently random robots that makes absolutely no sense. I think it takes supremely arrogant writers to write such random garbage because, if it were me, I simply could not stand the inconsistencies (in the franchise and within just this movie) and presence of baffling stereotypes spouting cut-and-paste dialogue from a collection of bad movie scripts. People need to stop employing Orci and Kurtzman and stop now. Michael Bay and his actors all put a lot of effort in but, aside from the fact that it frequently looks fabulous, it’s all wasted.

This movie contains partial sexual swear words, mild swear words, adult dialogue and comic substance abuse and extreme mecha violence, extremely unpleasant scene and sexuality.

Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

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Transformers: The Game (2007, Game, 360) – 5/10 review

Director: Jon Burton
Producer: Andrew Burrows
Lead Designer: Jon Burton
Lead Programmer: Stephen Harding
Lead Artist: Leon Warren
Lead Animator: Jeremy Pardon
Head of Production: Paul Flanagan
Head Of Technology: Dave Dootson
Peter Cullen: Optimus Prime
Shia LaBeouf: Sam Witwicky
Megan Fox: Mikaela Banes

Transformers Transformers: Game, The (2007)

Battle as the Autobots to protect the world from the Decepticons or battle as the Decepticons to smash the Autobots and claim Earth for yourself. Or do both.

5/10

This is a game that is definitely quite close to being enjoyable but it isn’t fun enough, often enough. Instead, Traveller’s Tales keep throwing needless niggles into the mix. The clearest example of the dichotomy of the game are the graphics. They look sorta ugly (360 version reviewed) and feel like you’re running through mud yet feature a spectacular amount of action and destructibility and the Transformers themselves look, especially on a really big screen, rather impressive. Another example is the appearance of it being an open-world game. However, most of the sequences will see you fail because you get hurled out of a tiny arbitrary "action area". Apparently, you can only pummel robots on certain streets at certain times. So while this ends up being another weak movie game, it nearly wasn’t, and in the movie game genre, that’s praise, indeed.

This Transformers game contains extended graphic and extreme mecha violence.

Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

Transformers (2007, Science Fiction Fantasy Action Adventure) – 7/10 movie review

Cast / crew
Director: Michael Bay
Writer (Screenplay): Roberto Orci
Writer (Screenplay): Alex Kurtzman
Writer (Story): John Rogers
Writer (Story): Roberto Orci
Writer (Story): Alex Kurtzman
Executive Producer: Steven Spielberg
Executive Producer: Michael Bay
Shia LaBeouf: Sam Witwicky
Tyrese: USAF Tech Sergeant Epps
Josh Duhamel: Captain Lennox
Anthony Anderson: Glen Whitmann
Megan Fox: Mikaela Banes
Rachael Taylor: Maggie Madsen
John Turturro: Agent Simmons
Jon Voight: Defense Secretary John Keller
Peter Cullen: Voice of Optimus Prime
Hugo Weaving: Voice of Megatron

Transformers (2007)

Sam Witwicky is eagerly looking forward to buying his first car, partly because car equals babes, and he has his eye on hilariously hot mega-babe Mikaela Banes. However, events of universal significance will overtake him as he proves to be a critical pawn in an intergalactic struggle over a object of immense power. A struggle perpetrated by GIANT TRANSFORMING ROBOTS.

7/10

Spectacular and fun giant mecha action movie which suffers quite badly from largely indistinguishable robot designs (only Optimus Prime and Bumblebee escape this problem) and frequent script mechanics that the filmmakers hope you won’t notice but does deliver a star-making performance from Shia LeBeouf wrapped up in a ridiculously good-looking package. A glorious mess, then.

This movie contains partial sexual swear words, mild swear words, adult dialogue and extreme mecha violence, extreme bloodless violence.

Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

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