Smallville 8.20 Beast (2009, TV) – 1/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Writer: Genevieve Sparling
Director: Michael Rohl

Smallville 8.20 Beast (2009)

The writers stab you in the eyes and ears for forty minutes while every actor looks like they’re trying to lie back, close their eyes and think of the money without vomiting or suffering a psychotic break. Aaron Ashmore isn’t succeeding.

1/10

It is becoming difficult to find words to describe the deep-seated hatred, the bitter resentment, the utter lack of respect and the despairing drudgery the writers of Smallville have for their audience. Somewhere along the line Aaron Ashmore and Allison Mack must have keyed all of the producers’ cars or left a coffee ring or a perfectly-formed poo on their executive table or something because their characters continue to be on the receiving end of bafflingly awful storylines. If they both move into porn after Smallville, it will be a step up.

This Smallville episode contains extreme violence, gory and extremely unpleasant scenes and sexuality.

Links

Smallville 8.14 Requiem (2009, TV) – 3/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Kristin Kreuk: Lana
Chris Gauthier: Winslow Scott
Writer: Holly Henderson
Writer: Don Whitehead
Director: Michael Rohl

Smallville 8.14 Requiem (2009)

Oliver Queen reveals a previously unsuspected bomb-proof-ness when he is the only survivor of a blast at a LuthorCorp board meeting where he was announcing his hostile takeover. He knows who the bomber probably is but strongly suspects that Lex is behind the attack and uses the bomber to lead him to Lex so that he can kill him. Meanwhile, Clark and Lana enjoy some super-sex (dang, another bed broken) but Lex has plans for them also.

3/10

Chloe shocks us to our very core by knocking on Clark’s door before walking in immediately anyway. It’s not like Clark and Lana were in the middle of super-sex. Oh. Anyway, the reason for last week’s eye-bulging Super Lana storyline is partially justified this week with a meaty moral dilemma. However, so broken is the chemistry between Kristin Kreuk and Tom Welling and so mechanical their performances (you can actually see him thinking about which eyebrow to move) that we simply couldn’t care less about the moral dilemma and subsequent drama for these two characters. The Michael Rosenbaum look-alike and sound-alike (two different actors) are very close but I can’t remember why Lex is in the state he is. Aside from the writers having to remove Lex from all active plot duty.

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Smallville 8.08 Bloodline (2008, TV) – 1/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Erica Durance: Lois Lane
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Cassidy Freeman: Tess Mercer
Sam Witwer: Davis Bloome
Justin Hartley: Oliver Queen
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Laura Vandervoort: Kara
Writer: Caroline Dries
Director: Michael Rohl

Smallville 8.08 Bloodline (2008)

Clark is sent the blue Kryptonite crystal and, being a bit of a super-genius, picks it up presuming that nothing bad will happen this time. Ah.

1/10

All the actors know that this is an awful episode and it comes across in their peforiamcens especially Welling who looks irritated and disinterested. It starts with Kara not recognising Clark or Lois and continues all previous comments regarding The Phantom Zone being summarily dismissed (there is another secret exit built by Zor’el and, in any case, Brainiac Chloe can just pull people out of it as she pleases). Chloe’s character is nearly unwatchable. However, continuing her good run Erica Durance is good again and now that Oliver Green has emerged from his drunken party-boy stupor Justin Hartley’s moments are strong. Also, depressingly, there are no lasting effects of anything despite Lois driving a pole through Sam Witwer and taking out a wall and a fire truck at Metropolis Hospital. After a few good solid episodes, Smallville returns to the overarching story and falls flat on its face.

This Smallville episode contains extreme fantasy violence, very gory and unpleasant scenes.

Links

Smallville 8.06 Prey (2008, TV) – 2/10 review

Tom Welling: Clark Kent
Allison Mack: Chloe Sullivan
Aaron Ashmore: Jimmy Olsen
Samuel Witwer: Davis Bloome
Writer (Characters’ Creator) Superman: Jerry Siegel
Writer (Characters’ Creator): Joe Shuster
Developer for Television: Alfred Gough
Developer for Television: Miles Millar
Phil Morris: "Detective John Jones"
Tyler Johnston: Randy
Writer: Kelly Souders
Writer: Brian Peterson
Director: Michael Rohl

Smallville 8.06 Prey (2008)

Clark is now spending his nights rescuing everyone he can but arrives too late on a scene of intense supernatural violence. He finds an unconscious Davis Bloome but Bloome later confesses to Chloe that, during inexplicable blackouts, he thinks himself responsible.

2/10

This is an almost entirely broken episode with random scripting and an entirely non-sensical story. Chloe and Clark have an interesting trust issue which is the best thing about this episode but it’s so badly handled (Clark apologises then disses Chloe all in the same conversation) that it undermines what could have been a fascinatig dialogue. I hate to say it, thanks to her run of good episodes where she wasn’t being bolshy, I missed Lois this week.

This Smallville episode contains strong violence, inferred extreme violence, gory and unpleasant scenes and non-sexual nudity.

Links