Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) – 2/10 action movie review

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

A Texas inventor buys a fully busted truck that was inside a derelict cinema and pulls a missile out of it that allows it to turn back into Optimus Prime but an inter-galactic bounty hunter, Lockdown, is working with the CIA to capture Optimus Prime and so the glistening, muscular inventor / robotics engineer / elite hacker and his good-looking daughter / really, really good-looking daughter / rally co-driver go on the run with Prime and end up saving the world. And there will be robot dinosaurs. The end.


This is an atrocious film on almost every level except visual effects and Mark Wahlberg. It would be a challenge to find more than a few subsequent lines that are coherent let alone compelling characters, involving storylines or comprehensible action sequences. Somehow, Wahlberg rises above all that and remains a quality, likable presence despite what the movie bafflingly puts him through. I don’t know what kind of secret sauce ILM keep back for Michael Bay but however Bay photographs his plates and however ILM’s artists up their game for him results in some utterly remarkable visuals: convincing, photo-realistic and extremely good-looking. Between them they produce the best visual effects explosions in the business; you cannot tell which explosions are real and which are not. Now, it would be accurate to state that the movie didn’t need to be good in order to fulfil it’s purpose – make money – but there was also no need for it to be this derisory.

Content Summary

This movie contains a single sexual swear word, bad language, strong violence, sensuality

Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Cast / crew

Director and Executive Producer: Michael Bay
Writer: Ehren Kruger
Producer: Lorenzo di Bonaventura
Producer: Tom DeSanto
Producer: Don Murphy
Producer: Ian Bryce
Mark Wahlberg: Cade Yeager
Stanley Tucci: Joshua Joyce
Kelsey Grammer: Harold Attinger
Nicola Peltz: Tessa Yeager
Jack Reynor: Shane Dyson
Sophia Myles: Darcy Tirrel
Li Bing Bing: Su Yueming
Titus Welliver: James Savoy
T.J. Miller: Lucas Flannery
Peter Cullen: Optimus Prime
Frank Welker: Galvatron
John Goodman: Hound
Ken Watanabe: Drift
Robert Foxworth: Ratchet
John DiMaggio: Crosshairs
Mark Ryan: Lockdown
Reno Wilson: Brains

Jack The Giant Slayer (2013) – 6/10 fantasy action adventure movie review

AmazonBuy Jack The Giant Slayer at Amazon

Cast / crew
Director and Producer: Bryan Singer
Screenplay and Story Writer: Darren Lemke
Screenplay Writer: Christopher McQuarrie
Screenplay Writer: Dan Studney
Producer and Story Writer: David Dobkin
Producer: Neal H. Moritz
Producer: Ori Marmur
Producer and Unit Production Manager: Patrick McCormick
Nicholas Hoult: Jack
Eleanor Tomlinson: Isabelle
Stanley Tucci: Roderick
Ian McShane: King Brahmwell
Bill Nighy: General Fallon
Ewan McGregor: Elmont

Jack The Giant Slayer (2013)

Albion is a land with a legend of man-eating giants who once sought to rule Earth but were banished by Eric the Great. Eric was real but the legend? Nah.


Adequate action adventure which suffers from CG fatigue whereby any shots with CG in are getting to be automatically dismissed by our brains and bring us out of the experience of the movie. It’s off by just enough that it distracts us from the action or drama that is seeking to engage us. Beautiful vista? CG, bored. Spectacular action scene? CG, not swept along. Principal characters? CG, don’t care. CG is a tool but I think we, as an audience, are getting inured to it. And we’re getting picky. Unless it’s 100% invisible or perfect, or far more restrained in it’s use, it is beginning to undermine the movie it’s used in. Aside from that, Jack The Giant Slayer is entertaining, crisp and has enough unusual action beats to be worthwhile. It’s also nice to see that, even though we have a villain, everyone else is entirely reasonable, polite and amiable. I think it really is a shame that such qualities are incredibly rare in the predominantly selfish characters that inhabit Hollywood movies.

This movie contains violence, mild sensuality, unpleasant scenes, inferred people-eating

Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

The Terminal (2004, Movie) – 3/10 review

Director: Steven Spielberg
Writer (Screenplay): Sacha Gervasi
Writer (Screenplay): Jeff Nathanson
Writer (Screenplay): Andrew Niccol
Writer (Screenplay): Sacha Gervasi
Producer: Steven Spielberg
Tom Hanks: Viktor Navorski
Catherine Zeta-Jones: Amelia Warren
Stanley Tucci: Frank Dixon
Chi McBride: Mulroy
Diego Luna: Enrique Cruz

Terminal, The (2004)

Viktor Navorski is travelling to New York from Krakorzia but en route a coup in his country means that his passport and entry visa become invalid. Not able to fly home or enter the United States he is told that he must stay in the International Flight Lounge until the situation is resolved. To everyone’s surprise, instead of bolting for the door, he does exactly as he is told…


Unconvincing. And that’s being nice. Despite three credited screenwriters the script has not had its bugs ironed out and this undermines the ever-brilliant Tom Hanks and the super-slick Spielberg coating. The fact is, this is two-minute news fluff and is here horribly stretched to a lifeless two hours. It’s pretty safe to say that this mistaken mess will be Spielberg’s worst and most worthless ever film.

This movie contains adult references and mild sensuality.

Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult.