The Illusionist (2005, Movie) - 6/10

Illusionist, The (2005) Eisenheim the Illusionist returns to Vienna fifteen years after being separated from his first love: Sophie, a duchess out of his class and about to be married to the Crown Prince of Austria. Eisenheim and Sophie want to disappear together but that may be a trick even he can’t pull off. 6/10 Elegant, rather beautiful, ethereal magic-themed romantic drama which doesn’t stand up to any kind of scrutiny (for instance, our hero tricks an innocent man into killing himself). Norton is agreeably otherworldly and Giamatti does well in an archetype we don’t normally associate him with. Rufus Sewell seems to be more committed to the film than he usually appears. The production has the feeling of high quality but it undermines itself. Some of this due to the nature of portraying magic in a movie. The audience presumes everything is ‘done with ‘puters, innit.’ However, The Illusionist starts with an impossible locket (it’s clearly two different lockets; one that transforms, one that opens) and continues with illusions which feel like 21st-century special effects rather than the 19th-century illusions that they were (The Orange Tree, Pepper’s Ghost). The movie is, but is not, enhanced by CG. This movie contains adult dialogue and brief, graphic gun violence, unpleasant scenes and a sex scene. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

A Touch of Frost 7.04 Another Life (2003, TV) - 7/10

Touch of Frost, A 7.04 Another Life (2003) Frost is back from suspension for bashing a child murderer (the killer was murdered in prison, allowing a quick sweep under the carpet) and is immediately up to his neck in dead bodies. One is found by the canal and the other on a rubbish dump for refrigerators. The first has two wives, the second has two left feet. 7/10 Unusually set several months after the previous episode, this episode (aired six weeks after the previous one) is an entirely entertaining outing for David Jason’s DI Jack Frost. David Jason gets some nice comedy moments involving lollipops (and subsequent tooth problems) and, as always, his scenes with Bruce Alexander are terrific fun (especially the one where Frost literally stamps his foot and storms out of Mullet’s office). The fridge graveyard is a striking and impressive location. The murder mysteries are crisply handled with plenty of fairly deft misdirection and Frost agreeably putting his foot in the door of the crims machinations. This Touch of Frost, A episode contains mild swear words and unpleasant scenes and mild sensuality and innuendo. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

One Foot in the Grave 4.02 Descent into the Maelstrom (1993, TV) - 7/10

One Foot in the Grave 4.02 Descent into the Maelstrom (1993) When Margaret falls ill Victor ‘looks after’ her for a couple of weeks. Her already shortened tether is almost immediately snapped thanks to Victor’s typical run of mishaps (involving giving away their video recorders… and car) but a visit from a child she used to teach, now grown up, provides a potential highlight. 7/10 A snappy episode with great chemistry between Richard Wilson and Annette Crosbie (after they kiss near the end they automatically take each other’s hand, you can hardly see it) and a nice sweet tone. It’s all topped off with a splendid visual gag involving a baby, it’s father and a gnome. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance. Available on DVD.

The Host (2006, Movie) - 5/10

Host, The (2006) After an American of some description forces his subordinate to pour a load of toxic chemicals down the drain into the Han River, it should come as no surprise that a giant bizarre creature would soon emerge. Riverside food stall operator Park Gang-du is one of the first on the scene to see this spectacular sight emerge from the river but curiosity soon turns to terror. 5/10 Containing a bizarre mix of humour, tragedy and monster action, this Korean hybrid movie will not appeal to most English-speaking movie viewers. Despite containing a number of striking visuals, good ideas, an unexpected story, a terrific moppet (Ko A-Sung), a few really strong scenes (the initial monster scene is particularly well done) and that skewed sense of humour (witness the first dude in the yellow suit slip over just as he is about to make an extremely important announcement), The Host doesn’t quite work. Native audiences lapped it up but many outside of that demographic will likely be somewhat bemused at best. This movie contains sexual swear words and violence, gory and unpleasant scenes. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over. Available on 2 disc DVD. Available on Blu-ray.

Import Tuner Challenge (2006, Game) - 7/10

Shutokou Battle (PAL Tokyo Highway Challenge) 4 Import Tuner Challenge (2006) Three years after street racing master King Speed disappeared, presumed dead, you arrive at Tokyo’s Shuto Expressway determined to make a name for yourself as the best street racer around. As you start defeating team after team, it soon becomes clear that street racing is about more than winning. 7/10 This is an unusual driving game distinguished by positive character types (”Racing you has turned my worldview on its ear. I have a feeling I’d learn a lot more besides, if I had a chance to race you again.”). The accurate handling is the best in the series (reversing and driving the wrong way has been added!) but the game is a bit easy for veterans who remember to keep upgrading their car. Car selection is surprisingly small with, strictly, no import models available to play with (the game is set in Japan and all the cars are Japanese). Mileage of available road is reduced from the previous entry in the series but there’s plenty and is about the same as Tokyo Highway Challenge 2. Car customisation is as good as any other game. This Shutokou Battle (PAL Tokyo Highway Challenge) game contains mild bad language. Classified 3+ by PEGI. The game is only suitable for persons who have reached the age of 3 or over.

Nissan Skyline: Import Tuner Challenge custom paint jobs

 

While certainly not on the same level as Forza Motorsport 2, the 2006 instalment of the Shutokou Battle series (also known as Tokyo Highway Battle, Tokyo Highway Challenge, Tokyo Xtreme Racer and, now, Import Tuner Challenge) also has extensive car customisation that includes vinyl and sticker placements. You can place three vinyls on the side of the car and several stickers. The vinyls don’t include primitives as Forza Motorsport did but are made up of many complex patterns and artworks.

I used two main cars through the Quest mode of Import Tuner Challenge: a Nissan Skyline Coupe CPV35 and a Nissan Skyline GT-R BNR34.

The paint job on the Nissan Skyline GT-R BNR34 rotates and shrinks one of the complex flashes supplied and uses it as fire coming out of the mouth of a dragon at the flying girl. Notice also how the wheels are different colours. I think it works.

Nissan Skyline GT-R BNR34

The paint job on the Nissan Skyline Coupe PCV35 takes the same girl but rotates her 180° making her appear to be reclining seductively on the rear wheel arch. After adding the tear vinyl at the front wheel arch, I needed something to visually lead the eye from front to back. I used a large katana vinyl to accomplish this without noticing that it looked like I’d skewered her on it. Sorry, girl.

Nissan Skyline Coupe CPV35

Batman Begins (2005, Movie) - 9/10

Batman Begins (2005) Billionaire Bruce Wayne, traumatized by the murder of his parents when he was a child, drops everything in the face of a humiliating realisation about his lack of understanding of the ‘real world’. He disappears, presumed dead by everyone in Gotham, and is taken under the wing of Ra’s Al Ghul who heads up the League of Shadows, an underground organization devoted to ridding the world of injustice. Finding kinship and understanding, Wayne welcomes the training and both look forward to cleansing Gotham of evil. 9/10 Quality return to form for the winged super-hero franchise. It hits highs (two of Batman’s lines: “It’s not what I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me” and “And you’ll never have to” both made even cooler by Batman leaping off a building as a punctuation mark) nearly as high as Tim Burton’s Batman but it doesn’t have a Kim Basinger subplot that doesn’t work and remains terrific throughout. Now there are four classic superhero movies: Superman (1978) remains the benchmark but this fits right in with Batman (1989) and X2 (2003). This movie contains strong melee violence, brief graphic gun violence, blade violence, scary scenes of psychotropic effects. Classified 12A by BBFC. Persons under the age of 12 must be accompanied by an adult. Available on Blu-ray. Available on DVD with Gotham Knight.

Stardust (2007, Movie) - 7/10

Stardust (2007) The village of Wall is the guardian of a wall between the human world and the magical kingdom of Stormhold. In the human world, a young man named Tristan is attempting to win the heart of the beautiful Valerie and makes a promise that will change his life forever. 7/10 This is a fun fantasy action adventure romance which, for the largest part, demonstrates a superb lightness of touch that makes a refreshing change from Hollywood’s current insistence on dark, hyper-violence even in 12A / PG13 so-called family films. The action climax does see a couple of errors in judgement with the unnecessary inclusion of a bone-snapping sound effect and too much of a person being torn to pieces by animals. However, back to the good stuff, which includes a nice sense of humour, plenty of ideas, nice measured direction from Matthew Vaughn and an outstanding cast which make it all work very well indeed. This movie contains bad language and violence, occasional extremely unpleasant scenes, supernatural violence and sexuality, inferred nudity. Classified PG by BBFC. Parental Guidance.

Damages 1.13 Because I Know Patty (2007, TV) - 7/10

Damages 1.13 Because I Know Patty (2007) Ellen demands Patty exercise her influence to get all charges dropped against her and she agrees that when that’s done she’ll hand over Greg’s video. 7/10 Perhaps I’m hyper-sensitive to ladies losing their trousers but where do Ellen’s trousers disappear to while she is in Patty’s elevator? Overall, this is a satisfying conclusion to this season though some loose ends haven’t really been tied up: why have we gone back to the events of 1972 (presumably, something to do with the real reason Hewes is so against Frobisher), what’s Frobisher’s field all about and what was Michael Hewes up to? There is a brilliantly harsh scene where Larry Poplar gets payment for his dealings with Frobisher (though that does lead to an ‘American’ scene a bit later, it’s a wonder anyone is alive in that country). The writers reserve a final twist to lead us into a confirmed second series and have largely done a nice job of getting across the show’s theme of trusting no-one by delivering convincing and interesting twists and reversals. Almost nothing silly or lazy happened during the entire season. Very impressive. The show’s real strength has, however, come from Glenn Close and, particularly, Ted Danson. He gave Arthur Frobisher a convincing combination of human weakness, charm, selfishness and abuse of power. I sure hope he figures in the next season. Lead actress Rose Byrne has been good enough, occasionally excellent, but hasn’t left an indelible impression. This Damages episode contains bad language and graphic gun violence, violence. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Damages 1.12 There’s No ‘We’ Anymore (2007, TV) - 7/10

Damages 1.12 There’s No ‘We’ Anymore (2007) Tom finally gets hold of Patty who returns when she hears that Ellen has accused her of trying to have her killed. Katie passes Gregory’s videotape to David and seals his doom. 7/10 Now this episode spends a lot of time replaying the snippets of the night of David’s murder with all the missing bits added and there isn’t really anything given here that we don’t already know and had surmised from the events of the previous episode. However, they weren’t kidding when they told Ellen (and us) to “trust no-one” and that leads us into a final must-watch episode which surely cannot conclude this story completely. Here’s hoping that the writers manage to provide a satisfactory climax but I anticipate a cliffhanger for a potential season two. This Damages episode contains bad language and graphic substance abuse and gory and unpleasant scenes and sensuality. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Damages 1.11 I Hate These People (2007, TV) - 7/10

Damages 1.11 I Hate These People (2007) Despite being drop-kicked out of Hewes & Associates, Ellen isn’t surprised when Patty shows up and offers her her job back. Ellen doesn’t want it but offers to approach Moore on their behalf for the good of the case. Moore can’t give them Frobisher directly but gives them Fiske and his dealings with Gregory Malina. Eight days later, Patty sees a drop of blood on her shoe. 7/10 Great finish to the episode (the shoe) though the return of Fiske is clumsily telegraphed by the director. Close’s (brief) reaction feels utterly genuine and this has been a good episode for her and her character. This is an interestingly low-key episode despite several things that should be causing serious stress such as stalking, home invasion and blackmail. Only present-day Patty gets super-stressed when spotting the blood on her shoe and one of those omni-present American police cars. Seeing Ellen and David coming through the Patty Hewes and Lila Di Meo experience with trust and love feels impressively reminiscent of crime masterpiece The Godfather and Michael Corleone’s inexorable but unwanted descent into evil. Here we know that Ellen and David’s relationship is doomed (though we are not certain by whose hand; current bet has to be stalker Lila Di Meo) but they are current extricating themselves from the situation and doing all the right things. Just two days and two episodes to go. This Damages episode contains bad language, mild swear words and unpleasant scenes and homosexual sensuality. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Damages 1.10 Sort of Like a Family (2007, TV) - 8/10

Damages 1.10 Sort of Like a Family (2007) With Greg Malina’s death Ellen is now superfluous to Patty’s requirements though the immediate task for Patty’s team is Frobisher’s deposition. A month later, Tom can’t get hold of Patty and no-one knows where she is. Ellen asks Tom to post her bail so that she can sort things out herself and he takes a closer look around Patty’s apparently pristine apartment. 8/10 “You may be the only one I can trust” says Frobisher to his lawyer, Fiske. However, the theme of the show is “trust no-one.” It’s another great scene for Ted Danson who delivers a really sweet and gracious compliment to his lawyer despite, presumably, being guilty of stealing the life-savings of over 5,000 people to the tune of $1.4 billion. I still feel that that isn’t what this series is going to be about, it’s going to be personal; it always is. Meanwhile, we finally get the Ted Danson / Glenn Close face-off and, you know what, Danson comes out ahead, no question. This Damages episode contains bad language, mild swear words and violence, gory and unpleasant scenes and a sex scene. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Damages 1.09 Do You Regret What We Did? (2007, TV) - 7/10

Damages 1.09 Do You Regret What We Did? (2007) David is reapproached by Lila and she also decides to tell Ellen about their ‘affair.’ George Moore gives Ellen some information that may tip the balance of power in Patty’s favour. Greg seeks forgiveness from Katie. Frobisher prepares for a likely deposition by Patty. Six weeks later, Tom is unable to find Patty. 7/10 So what did Ellen and Patty do? We’re not told this week but it seems Ellen has had more to do with her own fate that she has let on so far. Ted Danson singing reminds me of the classic Cheers scene where he raps in his job as an “I On Sports” newsreader (YouTube 1:35 mark: “g-g-groy-n in-ju-ry.” Awesome!). Close’s scary scene is one where she is apoplectic with grief or shock or something. It’s impressively disturbing. Danson and Close also get to meet, sort of, and that’s as fun as expected as she meets his charm head-on with a description of what she wants without swearing or bad language and all the stronger for it. This Damages episode contains mild swear words, bad language, adult dialogue and violence and a sex scene. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

Damages 1.08 Blame the Victim (2007, TV) - 6/10

Damages 1.08 Blame the Victim (2007) Larry Poplar returns to Frobisher when he loses his current job washing cars and asks for some of the promised remuneration. However, his dealings with Frobisher are suspected and may give Patty fresh ammunition. Ellen’s parents arrive with news of a car accident they are being sued over while, three months later, Ellen recalls her last words with David were in a relationship-ending argument. 6/10 Glad to see Ted Danson back. He really is superb as Arthur Frobisher combining humanity and sincerity with a sinister acceptance of nastiness that he convinces himself he requires but rarely explicitly requests. The identity of Peter Riegert’s shadowy presence is revealed this week and, well, I’m more confused than ever. One hopes that the writers do have a plan as the show is becoming dangerously convoluted. I certainly have the feeling that they are in control given the two slowly converging timelines being portrayed but we’ve seen this kind of spiralling complexity before (with the like of Alias and Smallville) and it usually comes back to bite them. Close’s great scene this week is one where she terrifies not just one man, but his immediate family and all his descendants for the next one hundred years. Not bad. This Damages episode contains mild swear words and gory and unpleasant scenes. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

Damages 1.07 We Are Not Animals (2007, TV) - 6/10

Damages 1.07 We Are Not Animals (2007) The deposition of Gregory Malina is the focus of Patty Hewes & Associates but her mind is also focused on her son Michael. Ellen and Tom are having trust issues but three-and-a-half months later she turns to him after being arrested for murder as ‘the only one she can trust.’ 6/10 Now you know when a character says to another “You’re the only one I can trust” that the opposite is true. Patty told Ellen “Trust no-one.” So, has Damages revealed the true bad guy in this episode? No, as it turns out, as he is still a puppet for Patty, as expected. What is also interesting is the way that Ellen didn’t seem terribly surprised or devastated that David was murdered. However, there’s not much to this episode outside of the prologue and coda, everyone appears to be treading water and there’s no Ted Danson. Close’s big moment is a superb explosion of impotent rage after the scheduled deposition of Gregory Malina and Ellen taking her workplace stress home with her was nicely observed and well performed. This Damages episode contains mild swear words and graphic gun violence, strong melee violence, gory and unpleasant scenes. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

Disappearing borders in Microsoft Access 2002

So, amazingly, if you set the BackColor and BorderColor to the same value in a Microsoft Access 2002 TextBox then set BackStyle to Transparent, the border disappears. The solution is simply to adjust one of the values by 1 but still.

Damages 1.06 She Spat at Me (2007, TV) - 5/10

Damages 1.06 She Spat at Me (2007) David faces temptation in the flirty form of a patient’s granddaughter. Ellen meets Gregory Malina and gives him twenty-four hours to come in and tell Patty what he’s hiding before she subpoenas him.Arthur Frobisher decides that he needs to portray the other sides to his character and insists on getting a biography written but his agenda and the publishers are very different. Three-and-a-half months later, the police do not find the body of Ellen’s assailant at Patty’s apartment. 5/10 Is anyone who they appear to be? The patients’ granddaughter is the reveal this time, but why? However, this is the first poor episode of Damages. There’s a naughty bit of directorial lying involving a man with a gun who has no reason to have it out when he does. It’s not sleight-of-hand or misleading, it’s just incorrect. While that may be understandable, an even more shocking error of judgement occurs just a few minutes later when Ellen takes a bath and deliberately leaves the door to the apartment open. Which is lucky, as David has lost his keys. What person, let alone a woman whose friend had recently had her dog murdered over the case she is working, would do such a thing? This kind of shocking refusal to write a way of a situation is the first such occurrence in this show and it takes you right out of the episode. Not much for Glenn Close to do this week but all the Ted Danson stuff is much better. It’s grimly humourous as he ogres his way through a ghost writer while trying to expose his good qualities. Danson balances his boorish billionaire with humanity that makes his character the most interesting in the show. This Damages episode contains mild swear words, adult dialogue and unexpected unpleasant and gory nightmare scenes, violence and sensuality. Classified 12 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 12 years and over.

Damages 1.05 A Regular Earl Anthony (2007, TV) - 6/10

Damages 1.05 Regular Earl Anthony, A (2007) Tom Shayes leaves Patty’s employ, for real this time, but he’s not the only one cutting ties. Her clients are dismayed at her actions leading to the withdrawal of Frobisher’s $100 million settlement and decide to dispense with her services. The stress of their lives and this business with Katie sees the first stumbling blocks in Ellen and David’s relationship. Four months later, Ellen claims that someone tried to kill her inside Patty’s apartment. 6/10 It isn’t clear how much control Patty is exercising this week as we see how she manages not to lose her clients after losing them a $100 million settlement. It certainly doesn’t appear to be in her direct control but such is her preternatural reading of people that these events were, to her, highly predictable. Close has two great scenes in this episode. The first is when she visits Tom, apparently to wish him well for the future, but then abruptly drops in a “You’re a number two, Tom. That’s your talent. That’s your limit.” And clears off. The second is, somewhat remarkably, her reading, silently, Tom’s list of requirements. I don’t know if there is such a thing as power-reading, but that’s what she was doing. I don’t typically like Glenn Close’s screen aura (fascinating but unlikeable) but when you can take a scene where you don’t move and hardly speak and can suck the viewer’s eyes to the screen, well, you’ve got to be impressed. This Damages episode contains mild swear words and strong melee violence, gory and unpleasant scenes. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Damages 1.04 Tastes Like a Ho Ho (2007, TV) - 7/10

Damages 1.04 Tastes Like a Ho Ho (2007) Katie Connor saw Frobisher in a night-club car park (shortly after a gun was discharged inside) on the night she spent with Greg five years ago. She also saw a man with him and can’t identify him but maybe Greg can. 7/10 “Trust no-one.” That is the advice Patty Hewes gives to Ellen but should we trust Patty? Or Ellen? This is a good episode featuring turn-arounds and twists which impress and delight. It’s a shame the makers hadn’t shown us in explicit detail the critical photograph in any of the previous three episodes. We wouldn’t have understood the significance of it then but would have been delirious to know it was in Patty’s repertoire all along (or to see it on a repeat viewing). Still, this episode concludes the Katie Connor story arc and I look forward to seeing where we are taken next time. Ho Hos are cakes distributed in America (and Egypt, bizarrely). This Damages episode contains mild swear words and graphic substance abuse. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.

Damages 1.03 And My Paralyzing Fear of Death (2007, TV) - 6/10

Damages 1.03 And My Paralyzing Fear of Death (2007) Patty receives a hand grenade in the post - not rigged to go enough, fortunately for her - which puts a dent in her office’s ability to provide justification to the judge for not dismissing the Frobisher case. Meanwhile, her problems with her son Michael have hit a new peak with him telling everyone about a dream involving his mortality. Five months later, Hollis Nye arrives to act as Ellen’s lawyer and expresses surprise that she didn’t ask Patty. 6/10 Glenn Close is having great fun with her 30-seconds-of-humanity followed by instant harsh coldness and the audience is enjoying the seemingly never-ending revelations that events that seem to have nothing to do with her are under her strict control. No clue as to where the story is heading as this week concentrates on a security scare and Patty’s problems with her son Michael who is challenging her authority as only teenagers can. The most obvious piece of half-information this week is that Patty was attacked after defeating a CEO in court ten years ago. Frobisher, perhaps? I don’t think so but I do think it will have some importance in view of the series’ title. This Damages episode contains mild swear words, adult dialogue and references to pornography and inferred violence and a sex scene. Classified 15 by BBFC. Suitable only for persons of 15 years and over.